Game of Thrones: The Queen's Justice

"The Great War is here."

Hello everyone!

Let me first tell you that I feel for the poor chicken which usually ends up in the cooking pot. I'm about the same right now and it's not even that late yet, but just sitting still I feel like I'm about to melt into a puddle on the floor. 

Summer has DEFINITELY got us in its grip, and will still for the next two weeks or so they say, so I desperately need some winter to cool off.

That pun was totally intended.

Anyway, after watching this latest episode of Un Passo Dal Cielo yesterday, I sat down to go through Game of Thrones as well, because ... well, because I couldn't resist, especially with that epic meeting in the works.

Let's move into The Queen's Justice, shall we?

This episode was by far the most cohesive of the three that have aired so far, probably because we didn't necessarily jump from location to location so much (and, by necessity, from character to character). I was actually quite surprised at how much time was spent in one massive chunk at each scene, something that's been lacking in the first two episodes, primarily, I think, because the showrunners had to establish where everyone was and what they were doing.

But now the board is set, and the pieces are gamboling around it happily, so we can sit tight for a while!

I'm going to start with a nifty little thing called Old Town in this review, because ... well, because I have a soft spot for Sam Tarly. Sam, as you recall, took it upon himself to heal Jorah Mormont from Greyscale, and surprisingly, the process worked! I mean, okay, we all knew Jorah wasn't dying (probably) because of his unresolved feelings for the Khaleesi, but hey, it's good to know we were right!

The Archmaester, that finnicky old fellow, does what Archmaesters do best - that is, after telling Jorah he's free to go, he doesn't kick Sam out of the Citadel but tells him to go copy some musty old scrolls and books that are falling apart.

#thegloriouslife

Elsewhere, on the high seas (somewhere), Theon Greyjoy is fished out of the water by one of the remaining Greyjoy ships, but he doesn't have much to offer other than the fact that he failed to help his sister against his uncle.

In other words, nothing new to report.

Now, to the second most prominent location of the episode, this one namely being King's Landing, where Euron brings his captives and Cersei gloats over having Elaria in her power. I really need to start thinking the way she does, because I should have anticipated what she did to Elaria, giving the woman's daughter the same poison which killed Myrcella (do you remember, her dying in her father's arms on the ship back to Westeros?) and forcing her to watch.

Meanwhile, she goes off and announces Euron and Jamie have joint command over the Lannister army. Also, that she'll marry Euron after the war's over, but that's never stopped her from jumping straight into Jamie's bed next.

I mean, we get it, woman, you love your brother and you're insane. No need to remind us.

A last guest appearance is made by our very own Mycroft Holmes representative of the Iron Bank of Braavos, who comes to tell Cersei they're thinking of backing Daenerys. Am I the only one who's afraid of what Cersei's hospitality and a debt paid in full means? Could she be crazy enough to assassinate this guy and send his body back or something?

Nothing would surprise me anymore, but here's to hoping someone might actually tell her making an enemy of the bank which pays her bills isn't a grand idea. Does she hope to rule the bank, too?

While the south keeps cooking with plots and machinations, let's relocate to the North for a short stop where Sansa has command of Winterfell, and for the time being all is well. She does know what she's doing, what needs to be done about food, how to fortify the castle, prepare armour, etc. She's had the best teachers for that - her mother would have taught her how to be the lady of the keep, when Catelyn would have still had hopes for a good marriage for her firstborn daughter.

The happy hour of the night comes with Bran's arrival, however, making it two Starks, trueborn Starks, now firmly back in their home seat.

Take me home, country roads ...

Sansa points out that Bran is now Lord in the North, to which he gives her a look that says he thinks she's insane, and calmly replies he can't be lord of anything.

And then he proceeds to be all weird and Three Eyed Raven-y saying he needs to talk to Jon (probably about the Night King), and also says a few lines about knowing everything that happens, having seen it, which mirror something Littlefinger told Sansa only a few scenes before.

Meaning, to be able to play this game well, she needs to act out every scenario inside her head and see the results so she won't be surprised by anything.

Is it just me, or did that sound suspiciously close to what Bran does, only Bran ACTUALLY sees it?

#WallofWeird

And now, of course, we've mentioned Bran wanting to talk to Jon - so let's see what Jon's doing.

In short, not good.

Along with Ser Davos, he's landed on Dragonstone and been welcomed by Tyrion and Missandei, stripped of his weapons (and his ship - I feel like Captain Sparrow would have a thing or two to say about that). Then of course he got to see the dragons, who seem to delight in swooping around the castle like overgrown bats and generally scaring the bejesus out of people.

But that's all beside the point, because then it's time for Dany's full title to get its groove on.

Dang, that's a mouthful!

And also, you can tell Jon doesn't know whether to be impressed by it, or laugh. I mean, he's from the North - what do fancy titles mean to him? He can't use them to feed his people, or to fight their enemies. So yeah, his own falls woefully short of the mark, but that doesn't mean he's just going to roll over, either.

In a gesture I pretty much predicted, bending the knee to Dany isn't on Jon's agenda any time soon, predominantly because (and here I agree with him) she seems to believe the Seven Kingdoms will just roll belly-up for her to take and come rushing to her. Which is an okay assumption, but neither for Dany nor for Tyrion, because I think they're forgetting that people DO judge children by their fathers. And they're dealing with one Mad Queen already - why would they bet on the child of a Mad King who really hasn't given much proof that she'll be a ) good to them or b ) a good ruler?

Sure, she has dragons; yes, she's abolished slavery on the other side of the sea; but Westeros doesn't really care about that. And it's high time someone kicked her off her high horse.

No one better to do it than a Northerner, either.

Jon points out he doesn't know Dany from Jane, and that, while her apology for the treatment her father gave the Starks is alright, he couldn't care less for it, or who sits on the Iron Throne. Davos points it out neatly enough: when the Night King comes, it won't matter which skeleton gets that uncomfortable chair.

Tyrion believes them, but Dany is skeptical, and I can't say I blame her - but I think her skepticism originates more from her annoyance that things aren't going her way and Jon isn't obeying her every command rather than an open mind to listen and learn. What does she know about Westeros, anyway? Not enough, that's for sure, so obviously, this meeting was doomed from the get-go despite Tyrion being there.

You'd have thought the Imp would have saved the day, somehow.

Well, okay, he does in a fashion when he convinces Dany to allow Jon to mine dragonglass and forge it into weapons (not that those help when he's still stuck on Dragonstone, regretting coming in the first place). At least that's a positive outcome in the otherwise bleak overall, although Davos did almost let slip that thing about Jon's resurrection, and I think it's going to come back into play soon.

If they're having a hard time thinking about the Night King as real, how will they explain Jon being dead and now alive again?

Conveniently enough, Melisandre has skipped out, to Volantis, but not without a final word with Varys who seems to know what's happened and why she needs to leave - which makes me wonder just how many spies he still has around Westeros. Or did he mean something else? If so, then what?

Anyway.

Time to put our battle gear on again.

Tyrion and Dany have sent the Unsullied to take Casterly Rock, which does in fact fall - because the Dwarf, being clever, installed a secret entrance Tywin Lannister knew nothing of, which Greyworm uses to get into the castle proper. The problem, however, is that the main bulk of the Lannister army just isn't there.

Where'd they go?

To Highgarden, of course.

Eliminating the last of Dany's continental allies, Jamie (with the Tarlys, it's worth noting) takes the keep and offers a pain-less poison to Olenna so that she can die more or less peacefully. She takes it - and then tells him that she was the one who poisoned Joffrey.

With a smile on her face.

Put THAT in your golden hand and smoke it.

That's confirmation of another fan theory that the books are pretty ambiguous about, but the show makes an end result of, saying that Olenna had done what needed doing to protect her granddaughter. And honestly, I'm sure Jamie would have loved to twist the old woman's neck for it, but hey, being noble kind of looks good on him!

What now, though?

There aren't any allies left for Dany to rely on, except Jon, who she's going to have to start treating differently, I think, but that's just me. All they have to discover now are those bow-things Cersei had made for the dragons, and their morale could fall dangerously low.

Then again, I'm of the firm belief if one dragon goes in for distraction and another torches the weapons, that'll be a quick ending to it. But that's my two cents.

I just want to discuss one more thing:

for the past few seasons, the Lannisters have been continuously shown as a weakening force, as an army that virtually has no more soldiers left and could be easily taken. Correct me if I'm wrong here, but it's a rather deus ex machina move to suddenly say 'oh hey wait! no we're not actually weak, see, we have this entire army back home which has just been chilling over there and getting their tans on, but now we're calling them in!'

Where did they come from? How does it make sense to make this kind of turn in showtelling? And how come no one pointed out to bring those troops along earlier when they were also super needed? Or was their last excursion into the outside world when Tywin Lannister came to save King's Landing during the Battle of Blackwater Bay?

I don't get it. Also, I don't like it. All of a sudden, with a god-like move, the scales have evened out without any reasonable explanation why, and I'm annoyed at it because Game of Thrones is usually really good at explaining.

But hopefully we'll still get it ... someday.

A lot of people will probably say this episode didn't do much for the progression of the story, what with how much people talked in it, but I'd like to point out that this is the entire point of the series: wars don't actually get won on the battlefield. That's just the front. In reality, the story progresses when you get characters together and have them discuss, and if anyone thinks Dany and Jon's scenes were boring or didn't bring anything to the table, they have another thing coming.

It's going to be EVERYTHING. And Jamie and his golden army can slither back to Casterly Rock.

xx

*images not mine

Episode 1

Episode 2