"A long time ago, in a galaxy far, far away ..."
Hello everyone!
You can get it off your chest right now. I'm pretty sure everyone who's actually wanted to watch these movies has seen this film way, WAY before me.
In my defense, I was so mad after Episode VIII, that when they announced and released the conclusion of the Skywalker Saga, I steadfastly and staunchly refused to touch it with a ten foot pole.
Yep, that's the entire plot and reasoning behind why I'm only reviewing this one now.
But since finishing up the Jurassic movies last week, I realized this would be hanging around my neck like some sort of dead weight, dragging me down, and so here we are.
And I have to admit ... I didn't hate it, nor did I not like it as much as I was afraid I might.
It's definitely not a masterpiece, though.
The Rise of Skywalker, plagued by the problems of its predecessor, does its best, but ultimately can't fully restore our faith in these movies.
Links to previous related posts can be found at the bottom of the page, as per usual.
So after meeting our scavenger Rey (Daisy Ridley) in The Force Awakens and killing Supreme Leader Snoke (Andy Serkis) in The Last Jedi, the plot gets yanked into a completely different direction once JJ Abrams is back to direct Episode IX: because we're told that the galaxy receives a threatening message by Emperor Palpatine (Ian McDiarmid), and everything's about to go to hell in a hand basket.
I mean, I'm pretty sure Kylo Ren (Adam Driver) is already there, going ham on anyone standing in his way to acquire a Sith wayfinder which takes him to the planet Exegol where, as it turns out, ole Palpy is hooked up to an Assassin's Creed technological arm keeping him alive, probably in a simulation somewhere which allows him to pretend he's the ultimate ruler of this galaxy.
Unfortunately, his armada of Star Destroyers is very, very real, and it'll all belong to Kylo if he can find and kill Rey, who's currently busy training under Leia Organa (Carrie Fisher). Meanwhile, somewhere else in this vast vacuum of space, Poe (Oscar Isaac) and Finn (John Boyega) think they're in Fast and Furious: Millenium Falcon as they receive a message from a spy in the First Order, telling the Resistance that Palpatine is, in fact, alive, and coming to reclaim his throne.
The only potential way to prevent this, after trying to bite each other's heads off, is if Rey and Poe take their motley crew to the desert planet of Pasaana, taking up the search Luke Skywalker (Mark Hamill) abandoned years ago.
Of course they also arrive in the middle of a festival, which is just fantastic, obviously, but with a little help from Lando Calrissian (Billy Dee Williams), they manage to avoid detection by the Knights of Ren until Kylo lands, after leaving Rey ten thousand voice mails through the Force she keeps on ignoring.
Then things get real as, one, our group finds a dagger which holds the key to Exegol, the Sith planet, on its inscription, but C-3PO is literally forbidden from telling them what it means because of his programming; two, Chewbacca gets taken by the First order, and three, Rey and Kylo play tug-o-war with his transport ship, until Rey unleashes Force Lightning to zap it into pieces.
Guilty beyond measure, but powering through as best as possible, the group then travel to a different, First Order-overrun planet where a little Anzellan Babu Frik gets the information out of Threepio's head, but in doing so completely erases his memory bank.
If you think a Threepio that knows everything is annoying, wait until you meet a Threepio that knows nothing.
Midway through this, Rey senses Chewbacca is alive and on the Star Destroyer that just brought Kylo and his goons to the party, so our group launches a rescue missions which is two parts ridiculous and one part shocking, as it turns out that Hux is the spy (because he wants Kylo to lose) and that Rey and Kylo can pass objects through their connection, no matter how far apart they seem to be.
Eschewing Kylo's hand once more, Rey takes off with the rest of the group on the liberated Falcon, flying to a moon in the Endor system as per the given coordinates. Once there, Finn discovers that the "natives" are actually Stormtroopers that laid down their weapons and deserted, and also that this planet is literally the graveyard of the second Death Star.
If you ever wondered what happens to so much mechanical junk after these big space battles, wonder no more: it eventually drops onto some unsuspecting planet or other.
Rey pushes through to get the wayfinder, confronted first by a vision of herself after falling to the Dark Side, as well as Kylo, who's like a stalker boyfriend that doesn't take no for an answer. He does, however, tell her that she's Palpatine's granddaughter - though it's never FULLY explained how that's even possible or how it came about, only that her parents hid her on that planet we first meet her on, and were later killed with the same dagger that gave her the wayfinder location.
Note: I had a brief read online about this. Apparently, there's two versions, one being the novelization one in which Rey's a daughter of Palpatine's failed clone (he has three eyes, this dude!), and the more prevalent one that she's the daughter of a guy who was born after his mom impregnated herself with Force-sensitive DNA. It's a mess, overall, so let's just roll with Palpy is grandpapi, okay? Okay.
Mortified, Rey duels Kylo, who is distracted by his dying mother reaching out to him through the Force just long enough for Rey to stab him, but she senses Leia's death and afterwards heals him before taking his TIE fighter to exile herself.
Of course, no one in Star Wars stays exiled for long, and with the help of Luke's Force Ghost (who, by the way, mentions both he and Leia somehow knew she was a Palpatine) she finds Kylo's wayfinder, takes Luke's X-wing, and transmits her location to the Resistance so they can follow her to Exegol to launch an attack on the fleet.
Richard E. Grant is absolutely delighted to have them there so he can test out his forces, and while Poe & Co are severely outnumbered above, Rey arrives to an ancient arena where Palpatine tells her to kill him, so his spirit can pass into her and she'll rule as Empress.
I'm not entirely sure what Rey would have done if Kylo hadn't chosen that moment to pop up, though he isn't Kylo anymore - after a little chat with Han's memory, he's back to being Ben Solo and intent on helping Rey take down Palpatine; Rey passes him a lightsaber through their bond and uses another one for herself (both turn out blue, although in flashbacks we see Luke's is green and Leia's is blue, for the short time his twin trained with Luke that is), and together they fight.
Until, that is, Palpatine figures out the Force dyad they are, drains them of their power, and attacks the ships above with Force lightning like it's the Fourth of July.
Poe is about ready to give up, but reinforcements finally arrive in a BEAUTIFUL shot of ships zapping in from all over as the galaxy hears Lando's call to arms and rises up against the First Order, while down below Rey FINALLY hears voices of the Jedi who came before her, telling her she has never been alone: all the Jedi live on through her.
She gets up and kills Palpatine with his own lightning, before dying herself, but don't worry, Ben's on the job, passing on his life force through their bond to revive her. They finally kiss, and then he drops dead, disappearing, which is the Star Wars way of saying: he's now one with the Force.
The Resistance destroys the fleet and the galaxy is finally, absolutely, and completely free of the Emperor and the First Order, and everyone celebrates.
Rey takes Luke and Leia's lightsabers and buries them at Luke's old home on Tatooine, where a random old woman just happens to be passing by - then again, it's what old ladies do. They're usually at the right place at the right time. She asks who Rey is, and Rey - after seeing Luke and Leia's Force Ghosts, together at last, tells the inquisitive lady she's Rey Skywalker.
Having chosen her own path, she and BB-8 watch the twin suns go down on this planet where everyone and everything eventually ends up, and the Skywalker Saga comes to a close.
This movie isn't as bad as VIII ended up being, but it does effectively try and erase everything that happened in VIII without giving it a whole lot of attention, and drops Palpatine in out of nowhere to try and get people to both like and watch it. And while this IS an EU trick that the novels also pulled off, it feels a bit out of left field to me, though I'll admit I loved seeing him on screen again mostly because he's coocoo for cocoa puffs.
The actors do the most they can with the script they're given, which is mostly campy and occasionally hits the correct emotional beats (like with Chewie distraught at Leia's death, or the shot of the ships beaming in to help Poe fight the Order), but overall a mostly enjoyable two-and-change hour watch.
It's definitely a Star Wars movie, but The Force Awakens introduced the characters in a very different iteration from what we eventually receive in The Rise of Skywalker, which I think is a shame. Poe and Finn, for example, are mostly relegated to comedic relief, and a lot of pressure is placed on Rey to drive this thing to the finish line. I'm not so sure they actually succeeded, but this definitely FELT more satisfying than VIII. VII was still the best out of the sequels, but IX isn't bad, either.
Overall, for a movie that promises so much and had to close off decades worth of a saga, this is probably more miss than hit, but for Star Wars enthusiasts, it's definitely at least an OKAY entry into their collection, rather than just downright awful.
So carry on, and may the Force be with you.
xx
*images and video not mine
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