"What is the measure of a true hero?"
Hello everyone!
Besides, my Youtube algorithm kept suggesting videos from this movie for me and I couldn't resist any longer, not when Hades looked like the funniest thing since that TikTok video of a hamster or gerbil dancing with a water bottle haha!
Disney has been on a roll with live action remakes of its cartoons, most of which reached a fever popularity pitch in the nineties, or at the very least some of the best were released then.
Somehow or other, I never considered this one for viewing pleasure, however.
I'm not sure why.
I mean, it has Greek mythology (adjusted), Danny DeVito (perfect) and it surprised me with the sardonic, often dry sense of humour that you can see right off the bat from the trailer as well.
I'm talking, of course, about Hercules.
By this point I've recapped a number of Disney movies so the links to all of those will definitely be down below, you can check them out!
We, however, are going on an adventure, and not one of the Middle-Earth kind.
See our movie begins with the Muses (five of them, not nine, for some reason) singing about what happened before Hercules was born - aka the Titans were roaming around until Zeus clapped back and locked them up in Tartarus. Then he ascended to Mount Olympus, married Hera, and lived happily ever after.
... if you've ever heard ANY Zeus story at all you'll know this is so far from the truth you have to cackle, but for the sake of making this child-friendly, let's roll with it.
Zeus and Hera have a child named Hercules, which is a HUGE deviation from legend where Hercules is a demigod son of Zeus, but Hera spends all his life tormenting him because Zeus cheated on her. Here, however, Hera is seen as a loving mother, and everyone is there to celebrate the birth of this prince of the gods - even Hades, the old curmudgeon, who hates the Underworld and darkens every doorway just because.
He also has a plan in motion, that will allow him to take over the universe in eighteen years - but there's a catch.
The plan WILL fail if Hercules fights.
So Hades sends Fear and Panic, his two minions, do steal the baby, make him mortal, and kill him - however, as is true of any story, they kind of mess up, and Hercules doesn't drink every last drop of whatever serum they fill him up with, which allows him to retain his godly strength, but not much else.
This later makes him an outcast and weirdo in his home even though he's a huge help to the two lovely people who adopt him, but he's a klutz of the highest order (make way, Bella Swan!) and honestly feels like he doesn't fit in.
His parents eventually tell him about the whole, we found you crying in the wilderness thing, give him the pendant he'd been wearing then, and send him off to the temple of Zeus to get answers (listen, if Zeus didn't put in those road signs for his temple I'm a monkey's uncle, dude LOVES being worshiped). Which he does - in the form of Zeus himself!
Zeus explains what happened, to the best of his ability, and says that it's possible Hercules COULD regain godhood if he became a true hero, at which point he could ascend to Olympus. So, armed with this knowledge - and Pegasus, his companion from birth and a bird brain in the body of a flying horse - he tags off to find a satyr named Phil (DeVito, in case you were wondering) to train him.
Phil takes the role of Chiron in this movie, trainer of heroes, and he's initially reluctant until Zeus zaps him with lightning to make his point, after which we get a delightful training montage, and I swear the satyr, dude and pegasus on logs doing some sort of yoga is the funniest thing I have EVER seen.
Once Hercules is all grown up and ready, they take off to Thebes, which is apparently the capital city of problems in Greece at the time - with a little pitstop along the way as they hear what can only be a damsel in distress, which allows viewers to finally see Meg for the first time. Before our girl Mulan busted out her killer moves, Meg was holding down the fort for Disney princesses who didn't need a man to rescue them and could even tie their sandals all by themselves!
Hercules rescues her from a centaur river guardian, then leaves completely twitter-pated as teenagers usually are when they see someone they like.
Of course, it turns out Meg here has a secret - aka she's working for Hades, who blows his blue hair learning Hercules is still alive, and then decides to throw everything he's got at the kid so that said kid can DIE before the planets align and his plan goes into motion.
That doesn't work out QUITE as planned though, as Hercules only becomes more and more famous with each apparently impossible task before him, to the point where everyone in Greece wants some of his merchandise, and some of HIM, too. But this doesn't seem to be enough for his dad Zeus, who says his son still has ways to go to become a TRUE hero - even though he has an action figure that shows off his pecs and everything!
Enter Meg, once again, who's been poked into action by Hades, but after spending a day with this boy she made fun of to begin with, she starts feeling the whole twitter-pated herself and tells Hades to find something else to take Hercules down with, because she's out.
And I mean, Hades is nothing if not ingenious, because even though Phil overhears their conversation and tries to warn Hercules, the kid backslaps him out of the way (showing some of that infamous temper Hercules was reported to have), Pegasus gets all trussed up like a Christmas turkey, and Hades himself shows up to make a deal: Hercules needs to give up his strength, and Meg will live.
Oh and also, Meg's been working for him all the time. SURPRISE, SUCKER!
Heartbroken, Hercules does as he's told while Hades goes off to direct the Titans to Olympus (unlike in the myths, the Titans here are represented more as elemental forces and sans much brain if they need a traffic controller), and even fights what looks to be a giant cyclops while the gods manage to find themselves chained.
Meg rushes to get Phil so they can convince Hercules not to do anything stupid, and sacrifices herself so that he can regain his strength (the stipend of the deal was she wouldn't get hurt, but if she DID, the boy's strength would return). Hercules rushes to Olympus to help defeat the Titans, but even in victory there's bitterness as Meg really dies.
This prompts him into the Underworld to make a deal with Hades, and he sacrifices himself to save her soul so he can bring her back - but instead of ACTUALLY dying, he regains his godhood, returns Meg to the living, and ascends to Olympus where his godly family is waiting for him.
And then he turns down being a god because he wants to stay on Earth with Meg - so the two lovebirds return together, reunite with Pegasus and Phil in Thebes where there's a giant party going on, and Zeus makes Hercules into a constellation in the night sky.
And that's the gospel truth!
Man, this movie was fun.
Between Hades and his sarcasm and Hercules and his blunders, not to mention Meg and her sharp tongue, I honestly don't know what was the best thing. Sure some of the animation was a bit wonky (it was the nineties, come on), but it's the STORY that counts.
The simple message that it isn't fame that makes you a god but who you are inside is probably one of my favourite from any Disney movie, and something Hercules learns along the way.
And Meg. MEG.
Listen, we all keep saying how radical Elsa and Anna are, and how Disney is taking a different approach with this new-age era, yada, yada, yada. But can we stop and appreciate just how awesome some of the early Disney movies actually were? And they aged well, too, because the dialogue between Hades and Meg ("He's not going to hurt me, he's different!" -"He's a GUY.") is one for the ages and resonates even today. And don't get me started on how independent this girl is. She might be one of my favourites now.
She definitely didn't need a MAN to do anything for her - she fell in love with Hercules despite that!
... also shout-out to freaking Scar from The Lion King who's used as the Nemean Lion in this one, at least his end if a bit more noble I guess?
And if you wait RIGHT until the very end of the credits ... you can hear Hades complaining into the void of the universe.
What else could you possible need out of a movie to entertain you?
10/10 recommend!
xx
*images and video not mine
Raya and the Last Dragon - Mulan (1998) - Mulan (2020) - Frozen II - Coco - Moana - Frozen Cinderella - Beauty and the Beast - Aladdin
No comments:
Post a Comment