"New life, in defiance of death."
Hello everyone!
Will we return for a second? Remains to be seen.
Obviously we already know Amazon is committed to this project with five whole seasons, though granted I'm not entirely sure how they'll continue to excuse it if it performs poorly.
Or, maybe it won't perform poorly, not that I'm convinced it's doing well either.
It feels more like, the amount of views it's getting is that macabre sort of showing that people are only watching because they want to see the next version of a train wreck!
But maybe I'm being too harsh. However, I will say that after six episodes of barely anything happening, it's difficult to really argue against the fact that the season has just not been as gripping thus far as it could have been, and arguments of 'it'll be spread out over 5 seasons you have to be patient' are moot point as we have to wait for a long time between seasons. That doesn't translate well into the waiting period, trust me.
However, we still do have a review to get through, so here it is. The Rings of Power: Udûn.
You'll be able to find links to previous reviews right at the bottom of the page, as per usual.
The most linear in terms of plot simply because it only focuses on the one thread that's running in the same direction, episode six focuses solely and wholly on the battle for the Southlands between Adar, his orcs, and Arondir and the humans who are desperately trying to survive without giving in to the darkness that they've spent generations trying to shake off.
So while you might think they're sitting ducks in that Elven tower when Adar marches his army in, it turns out they've abandoned it, and Arondir brings it down over everyone's heads in a move that's very Jack Sparrow On Stranger Tides.
The villages have ACTUALLY withdrawn back to the village (I won't be going into the tactical right or wrong of this, there are whole ass debates online about it and I can kinda see both sides, so, moving on) which they now fortify as best as they can while Arondir tries to destroy that sword hilt ... only it doesn't want to be destroyed.
So, next phase is to hide it somewhere no one will know, and then schmooze a little with Bronwyn as they plant seeds together so that something will survive of them after the battle, in a lovely Elven tradition that's actually one of the rare things in this show that makes sense.
The battle itself begins in earnest in the dark when orcs are strongest, and the first wave is repelled - yes, it's only the first wave, not to mention they realize it's basically their own folk having gone over to the darkness they've been fighting. The REAL orcs have just been sitting behind, waiting for the villagers to exhaust themselves before they go in for the attack.
Bronwyn is shot with an arrow through the left shoulder, and Arondir works with Theo to sort that out while they've battened down the hatches and locked themselves into the village inn. Said inn doesn't stand a chance, and Adar REALLY wants that sword hilt, so people be dying left, right and center because Arondir knows they're all dead anyway irregardless of the fact if he gives up the hilt or not, so he chooses not.
Jokes' on him though because Theo has seen where he hid it (under a slab at the inn, because ... logic dictates it can't have gone far if we want the plot to progress) and hands it over to spare his mother.
Which is where the fun begins.
See, the Númenorean fleet has been sailing towards Middle-Earth since the end of the previous episode, and Galadriel is itching for a fight, though she does take the time out of her heavily-filled schedule to chat with Isildur a little bit (who's been sharing an apple with his horse, for some reason), as well as Elendil, who reveals his deceased wife ... drowned.
How does a Númenorean, AND a Faithful, drown, you ask? I've no idea. Supposedly we could get more info on this later, not that it matters.
The cavalry rides at full speed towards Ostirith; now the internet has been debating THIS long and hard as well, especially in memory of Théoden's words back in Return of the King saying that, man and beast needed to reach the battle with strength enough to fight, but we'll leave logic aside (as it has been) and focus simply on the fact that the troops DO arrive on time to prevent an all-out slaughter at the inn.
They ride through like a gale - cavalry will usually do that to foot soldiers - and Arondir is in awe, seeing the Commander of the Northern Armies in the flesh, of whom he's only heard legends at this point. But anyway, while Elendil is over there being dragged off his horse (because, logic again), Galadriel takes off in pursuit of Adar who's ridden like the hounds of hell were yipping at his heels, wrapped object in hand.
She and Halbrand end up catching him together, and she prevents the man from killing him - and I swear Amazon is angling for a romance between these two, or that at least is how I understood the scene of them together on the log. Moving on.
The show embraces the prevalent of orc beginning theories, which is that they were Elves taken by Morgoth and corrupted - remember, the Dark Power can never actually create, it can only pervert and twist. Then that brilliant nugget is offset entirely by a MASSIVE blunder when Galadriel explains she was a child when she first heard about these taken Elves ... and you recognize the show writers can't even follow their own timeline.
In the very first episode, we see Galadriel as a child, with her brother. After Morgoth does his destruction deal, the Elves cross the sea - and Galadriel specifically says THEY, not leaving herself out - to fight him, and she's an adult when her brother dies. How was she a child when she learned of these captive Elves? She wasn't. It's just bad writing.
Anyway, Halbrand stops her from killing Adar, then Míriel crowns him King of the Southlands, and then of course, if you've watched any show at all, you know Adar wasn't holding the sword hilt when he rode off. It's a classic switcheroo moment, and the REAL sword is inserted into that lock back at the ruined tower, which opens a dam that allows water to flow through the tunnels the orcs have been digging, right into the dormant Mount Doom which then erupts.
And seeing as plot armour is thicc here in this show, don't worry! They're all surviving the deadly pyroclastic flow that covered the entire village in seconds.
Honestly, some things are just beyond suspension of disbelief. One can understand Galadriel might not have been as interested in the object Adar was carrying in comparison to Adar himself, but how did Arondir not figure out the difference as soon as the wrap was handed to him, and it took a KID to actually open it up?
The fight was trying to be another Helm's Deep, but for me it fell into the same trap as the one in Game of Thrones season 8 where it was ridiculously hard to see what was happening. Also, can we just talk about how Isildur is a schmuck already? When shit hits the fan, Elendil runs right into smoke and fire to get to the Queen - his son stands over there crying for his horse.
Dude, we get it: you're an ass.
Apparently the animal budget for the series was also reserved for the Númenorean cavalry since we haven't seen any other horses anywhere else, which I've found odd from the get-go. Elves would not, and never have, been rider-less. Horses have been in Middle-Earth since the beginning, not to mention the Eldar brought them along for their war against Morgoth. Everyone out there saying IT WAS NUMENOR WHO INTRODUCED THEM!!! can take a chill pill. Númenorean horses, like everything else they own, came from the Elves first, not the other way around.
And for those of you all up in arms because 'Galadriel was suggesting orc genocide!!!', you HAVE been watching the same show and universe, right? The writers are trying their hardest to convince you orcs are just misunderstood but, you do remember they've been killing their way through the Southlands since this started? Taking slaves to dig their tunnels? Generally spreading terror? And oh, just a small note, they answer to Adar - who says he doesn't answer to Sauron, but he certainly isn't an Elf any longer, so you can forget about him being light or good.
The nature of the orcs is to pillage, burn, and take for themselves. That's just how Tolkien wrote them. They are locked in eternal conflict with the Elves. Has no one read or watched The Hobbit or The Lord of the Rings? What do you lot think happened to the orcs after the major battles there??
There was a lot of back and forth in terms of character writing, creating a whiplash effect, but at this point nothing surprises me anymore. Mordor has been born and it's time for the final push before this misery ends. Let's just hope we get SOME forward momentum beyond 'this lil village in the Southlands needs defending!'.
Tune in next week.
xx
*images and video not mine
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