"Every war is fought both without and within."
Hello everyone!
Yes, yes, I'm sure you're wondering, but why are you still reviewing this if it's obviously a bit of a slog?
I'm a perfectionist and dislike not finishing what I start. So there.
I'll be seeing this through right to the end, though you will definitely also be getting some House of the Dragon thoughts from me when the time comes and THAT series comes to a close.
Not to mention possibly a few others.
But I'm certainly getting ahead of myself, as I first need to finish this one.
If you're wondering what you need to survive a volcanic explosion, I have to disappoint you by saying: you probably won't.
A lot of characters in Rings of Power did, though, as The Eye shows us.
Links to previous reviews can be found at the bottom of the page.
If you've been wondering what's happened with the Dwarven plotline, wonder no more! We're back with Elrond and Durin, and interestingly enough Elrond introduces himself as 'Elrond Half-Elven', which is a bit confusing looking at the presentation in this show, as it's heavily implied that his status (not fully Elf, not fully Mortal) isn't exactly something to praise, at least that's the impression we get in the courts of Lindon.
Here though, he's on his knees a-beggin', but King Durin's having none of it, and forbids his son from mining mithril. This breaks Durin Jr.'s heart, because he knows he may never see Elrond again - and the emotional scene between Disa, Durin and then Elrond is probably the height of this entire season thus far.
Of course, then Durin sees mithril DOES in fact heal the blight in the Elven tree, and so he and Elrond go to work by themselves - only for it to result in Elrond being banished, and Durin stripped of his royal status. However, Disa reminds him that THEY are the future of the kingdom, and it's easy to see what side she's arguing: the one for progress, and the future, rather than clinging to the past like the old king is doing.
Said old king has the mithril shaft closed off again, and for a hefty bonus he chucks the tree-leaf in there too.
We'll get back to that, because, welp, if you remember, Mount Doom exploded and erupted and started its great lava-boiling furnace in all its glory, and we need to look at the aftermath of that, pronto. Who cares about leaves falling too greedily and too deep?!
Ahem.
Harfoots are one of those you'd never consider will be feeling the effects of the eruption, and yet missiles from Mount Doom have somehow flown all over the map close enough to Greenwood the Great that, after finding their usual harvest grove in smoldering ruins and the Stranger's failure in fixing it, they send him off in that direction.
Then the Mystics show up, and the idiot Nori again doesn't know when to leave well enough alone, because even though the grove HAS been all healed up, she sticks her head out because she thinks she can mislead three Eminem-looking creatures without missing a beat.
So naturally, the whole caravan is set on fire, though that's alright! Nori's off to help the Stranger again, Poppy's coming with her, so is Nori's mum (because, as we know, the idiot girls need someone of intelligence on this quest, venture ... thing!) and they even convince their leader to tag along with them because obviously, the more the merrier.
But let's leave them to follow who I'm presuming might be Radagast - he lived in Rhosgobel, after all, although an argument could be made it COULD be Sauron still, since his original domain was on a hill in Southern Mirkwood for a while before he removed to Mordor - and go back to the ash-covered plains.
The pyroclastic flow apparently wasn't that deadly and didn't boil Galadriel alive in her plate armour; however, it seems to have acquired properties of a rushing river, as it spreads our survivors across a pretty big area considering they can't find each other right off the bat. If you remember, the village, or huddle of tables they were seated at, was maybe twenty feet in diameter.
Galadriel finds Theo and they take off. If this is supposed to make us root for her, I have news for writers: one, she makes an abysmal commander, leaving her troops behind without even an effort, and two, how are we supposed to like a character who doesn't seem to care for anyone?
Anyway, she and Theo have a little bonding experience, wherein she gives him her sword - this will stay with him when she eventually rides off - and explains she lost her brother Finrod, and husband Celeborn to the war. Or, well, she says her husband went off to war and she never saw him afterwards again.
We don't talk about the silver clam business. I refuse.
But hold on, so you're telling me, this Elf who is married, and doesn't actually know her hubs is dead, has spent the last who knows how many years chasing down rumours of Sauron, instead of him?
More bonus points to the writers for likeability. Listen, you don't need to have access to LACE, but it wouldn't kill you to still run with the fact that, once Elves are married, it kind of supersedes everything else.
MOVING ON.
Of our trio, Isildur and Ontamo are the only ones to survive. I was wrong. Valandil kicks the bucket. RIP Valandil, you were great for the five seconds we had to bond with you. Then of course ISILDUR is supposedly buried in burning rubble, presumed dead, and Míriel catches sparks in her eyes which blind her.
Elendil realizes this when he's leading her horse out of Mordor and into cleaner air. But what I don't get is why she won't allow anyone to tell the soldiers what's happened, then has her eyes blindfolded once they're out? That defeats the purpose, doesn't it?
Either way, the survivors all find each other - yes, Bronwyn and Arondir both live - and decide to head to an abandoned Númenorean outpost called Pelargir. Again, I smell continuity issue: if memory serves, Númenor did not, in fact, ever mention having established harbours in Middle-Earth. Or have I just not been watching the same show all these weeks?
If you thought that's all, oh ho ho, you're mistaken. Halbrand, king for about a minute, is down for the count from a mysterious wound we have no clue about. How did he get it? He was perfectly fine before Doomie went boomie. There was no fighting that we know of afterwards, and his wound looks suspiciously like a stabby-stabby, not your usual charred brisket you'd expect after, you know, ash and heat and stuff.
And he needs Elvish medicine. ADDITIONAL proof the wound is somehow poisonous and he has to have gotten it from an Orc blade, because it's lore-confirmed Orc blades are often covered in poison. But WHEN? Because otherwise, there's literally no reason for him to need more than honey tightly packed onto that wound until they get to Pelargir to help cleanse it. Medicine of the Elves is reserved for the most grievous wounds inflicted by the Enemy, of the sort traditional medicine just won't touch.
Infection is not one of those topics, because Elves don't get infections. Ergo, they wouldn't know how to treat them.
Also Elrond hasn't really passed all his exams yet and the medical board is still deliberating, so Hal might be screwed one way or the other, come to think of it.
No time to waste though! Into the saddle we go, for the long ass trip to Lindon - I'm assuming it'll be Lindon or at least Eregion, though the trip will, or should, take roughly a month or more even on horseback. Hal has the immune system of a Hobbit at this point, that's all I'm saying.
Then again, all signs point to this just being a nice way to get him to Celebrimbor, where he can finally ditch the Hal and bring on the Annatar. Which will be just as well and then Elendil can vent his grief after he returns with more Númenorean forces over the idiot who 'cost' him his son. Let's not touch on the naming inconsistencies (it's either Ar-Zimraphel or Tar-Míriel, not one for her and the other for her father), or the fact that Isildur is going to be rescued by his horse.
And if you aren't bored yet of the inconsistencies in writing, the confusing decisions made with regards to certain characters, and obvious foreshadowing (unless they REALLY throw us for a loop and admit Galadriel is somehow Sauron and has been all along), then tune in next week for the finale.
Also, don't ever throw leaves too deep, y'all. Balrogs are very, VERY light sleepers.
xx
*images and video not mine
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