"Sometimes, to find the light, we must first touch the darkness."
Hello everyone!
Then again, it has the misfortune of airing next to House of the Dragon.
ANY show, unless firing on all cylinders, would have been judged and found wanting in comparison to that!
But I digress, right off the bat.
I'll definitely go into more of the reasons once I recap what happened during last Friday's episodes, but honestly I BESEECH anyone watching this to actually pick up the books and read them.
I have nothing against fan fiction - I write it myself - but fan fiction doesn't usually masquerade as something official.
Rings of Power: Partings FINALLY gets the show moving again, at least.
There's more plotlines this time around to follow, and we start right off the bat with my least favourite, the Harfoots - who it looks like NOBODY really likes, judging on what's being said online - but hey, at least we get the sort of nostalgic vista shots of New Zealand as Middle-Earth to the backdrop of Poppy singing a walking song that incorporates a lot of familiar elements into it if you know what to listen to.
So after the Weather Hills, future Midgewater Marshes and the like, the Harfoots - still annoyed the Stranger's with them, though at least he seems to be learning some stuff is bad - make camp, and end up attacked by wolves or ... some canine variety that almost eats Poppy, Nori and one of the Elders, before the Stranger comes to manhandle them.
Unfortunately he hurts his arm in the process, and to heal it freezer water around it, scaring the bejeebus out of the idiot Nori, who just can't help sticking her fingers right over the place that's icing over. She's now finally terrified of the man like she should have been from the start, but we do get an interesting call-back to 'Envinyantar', the Renewer, a word the Stranger mumbles and a title Aragorn takes at the end of the Third Age.
But all is not well, and something is in fact rotten in the kingdoms of Middle-Earth, because remember the crater the Stranger made when landing here?
Well, three weird ass, white-dressed and pale-eyed individuals examine it, and seem to be hunting him. Who are they? Your guess is literally as good as mine. A cult, but that's about all I can say off the top of my head.
Speaking of off the top of my head, Arondir and Bronwyn continue to battle their own demons as Bronwyn relays his message from Adar in what I suppose they hoped would be a heartfelt speech, but things are moving with such weird pacing that it falls flatter than a pancake, and anyway half the mob rushes off to meet their 'true lord' because ... they've always been waiting for Sauron to return, apparently.
I swear they're eventually going to lead into the ghost army Aragorn calls to him, but I digress. Theo doesn't tag along and in fact does the smart thing by showing Arondir the sword hilt, which prompts the Elf to reveal hey! he's seen this before.
In this very outpost. In a statue reminiscent of what the Elves put up whenever someone they love passes away.
Listen, I'm trying okay? But, one, if Arondir has seen this before, it means the Elves have been aware of its existence - WHY WOULD THEY HAVE LET IT BE THERE AS A CLEAR SIGN OF DARKNESS? And two, what the hell makes this tower so special - if they reveal it was built over Sauron's hidden spa, I'm going to throw hands.
Anyway, Bronwyn sees things as hopeless now, much to Arondir's dismay who reminds her that, the last time a Dark Lord went to war, continents sank. Then comes a moment when the music is actually too loud and distracting as they all start fearfully gazing upwards, because apparently they hear either the drums or the horns of Adar's army, come to claim what they're searching for (let's not go into the fact that Adar is definitely NOT Sauron, and the only way to join him is to either be an orc and sizzle your skin in the sun like he asks you to, or you're human and kill some other hapless human).
Again, while this is all going on, Gil-Galad has no idea. In fact, he's busy trying to woo Durin, who is, for all intents and purposes, the real MVP.
He sits at the King's table, tells the Elf nothing even when asked directly, throws shade on the dude's bowel movement, and then walks away with the table in question after spinning yarn how it's a very rare stone the Dwarves use for tombs and hallow places. Needless to say, Gil-Galad falls for it - or seems to. Elrond is a bit savvier, but he has his own problems.
See, Celebrimbor explains he knew why the king was sending him to Durin, and hey, they've both known about mithril, too, which they DESPERATELY need. Why?
Because, as the king himself explains to Elrond, who holds staunchly to the fact his given worth is worth more than anything else, the Elves are ... lessening? Fading? Darkness is spreading, and the only way to stop it from happening is to "saturate" the Eldar with mithril ASAP, because per a legend they have Elrond explain, there used to be a tree on top of the Misty Mountains, where a warrior of light and a Balrog poured their essences into it, effectively creating mithril.
Now, the king is VERY insistent it's all about the pure and light and good, conveniently forgetting that the darkness must have taken a hold in the mithril too, by this logic. Celebrimbor also lays it on thick bringing Eärendil into the conversation again, saying he was there when he set sail the last time, guilting Elrond with the 'you're the only one who can do it' speech.
THANKFULLY Durin has enough salt in his beard to see what's going on - even without Elrond admitting it, he probably would have figured out on his own - and in one of my favourite scenes milks it for all it's worth that DURIN, a Dwarf, now holds the key to the Elves' survival. They then take off for another bout of walking again while Gil-Galad watches, like some scary scarecrow in the background.
How are we supposed to like this guy enough to cheer for him when he gathers the Last Alliance and marches on Sauron?
To that effect, HOW ARE THERE STILL NO HORSES TO BE SEEN FOR ALL THIS BACK AND FORTH BETWEEN THE MOUNTAINS AND THE OTHER KINGDOMS? Did they have a Middle-Earth Public Transport Service that went extinct by the time Gandalf and Frodo could have REALLY used it?
I'll never understand it, but at least the Númenorean segments were mildly entertaining, with Halbrand wanting nothing to do with Galadriel's scheming, to the point where she actually deigns to go and apologise to him after she figures out she's REALLY pushed him too far. He pushes right back, however, wanting to know the why of it - and she explains her abysmal existence up until this point, admitting she just can't stop.
Amazon, not sure if anyone's told you but, those sound like the words of an addict. Moving on.
The Queen is notably unamused, and doesn't get a ringing endorsement from her daddy dearest either, because Tar-Palantir, waking up, apparently has a fit of foresight telling her there's nothing but darkness in Middle-Earth.
Then again there's darkness on Númenor itself, with people rioting against sending ships out, something even Elendil's daughter seems to be against for some inexplicable reason, but which Pharazôn explains will only be for their benefit, when questioned by his son: Númenor will gain subjects, taxes, WEALTH!
I went to check. Despite only having rights to what's in the Appendices of The Lord of the Rings, Amazon seems right keen on ignoring everything in there. At this point, Númenor should have a number of major ports established in Middle-Earth, taxes included. I'm telling you, the timeline is so compressed that once things DO start moving, it'll be whiplash with HOW MUCH they have to cover.
Anyway, nothing's going to stop the expedition, not even Isildur and Pharazôn's son accidentally exploding one of the boars which then takes out another, leaving only three for the 'fleet', but hey at least this earns Isildur a spot on the expedition which his father previously denied him (and rightly so, if you remember how wishy-washy this kid is).
Another one who's also going is Halbrand, who, after his little heart-to-heart with Galadriel, finally gives his stamp of approval and agreement to this insanity, gears up, and takes off with the lot. Galadriel herself is finally back in her comfort zone - her plot plate armour that, for people who disdain the Elves, is made to look almost exactly like the one she wore at the very beginning, and we're graced with at least one entertaining sequence prior to the mumbo-jumbo, which is her training the cadets who will be going to fight orcs.
I'm a sucker for good fight choreography, okay? I'll admit.
It also took me WAY too long to recognize Alex Tarrant from NCIS: Hawai'i as one of the cadets!
But anyway, the Númenoreans finally take their leave in a scene that's a carbon copy of Faramir's desperate last ride to Osgiliath, which jars with the jubilant feeling in this one, and for some reason most of the armour we've seen so far seems to look ... Rohirric, to me? I know it's supposed to probably be fish scales, but with those horsey sword handles and helmets ... I don't know guys.
At least they gave Elendil the proper one, though, with the wings at the sides that might look comically out of place, but are AT LEAST ACCURATE, which I can't say for three quarters of this thing now.
And with that, we're off, with just three episodes in the season left, and way, WAY too much ground still to cover unless they plan on leaving us hanging with literally everything left unsolved.
How will they pull off this mithril storyline? I have no idea. Especially as there's no real logic to it. Mithril is an METAL that one MINES, you can't SATURATE anyone with it. Like mentioned above, the Appendices have a decent chunk of information, as does the trilogy itself, yet for some reason people keep referring to them as 'glossaries' and pointing out how weak they are. I'm not sure if they've read the same, hundreds of pages of stuff, that the rest of us have. There's MORE than enough there to keep to the vision.
Then again, one can clearly see that this series was not, in fact, made with the same love and attention to detail that previously went into most Tolkien-inspired work, but rather to check off boxes that execs believe will make it a success.
Newsflash: it's not working. And five seasons of this will be a massacre.
But let's tune in again this Friday to see just HOW they can salvage at least some of it. Hopefully? Hopefully.
xx
*images and video not mine
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