"And so the lion fell in love with the lamb ..."
Hello everyone!
I've honestly wanted to watch these and put them on the blog FOREVER, but never had enough time or I forgot, and then something else happened and totally distracted me.
Not this year, though.
Nope, this year, I'm doing things the only way I want to, which is to say, I'm watching these again.
It's literally been at least a decade since I saw them last in entirety, or on purpose. Used to be my mom would watch these non stop, so here I am doing this for her as well LOL.
You all know what I'm talking about.
And we're starting it off with Twilight.
Twilight is the story of teenage Bella Swan, who decides that her mom deserves to travel with her new husband, so she goes to live with her dad Charlie in Forks, where it rains pretty much every single day, she's suddenly the shiny new toy for all the male students at school, and she goggles at the perfection of five teenagers that look too good to be true.
I mean, one could argue that to each their own, but it's fun looking at all the actors and knowing how far they've come since then!
Robert Pattinson was indeed a heart throb back in the day and he was well cast as the mournful Edward Cullen who Bella becomes obsessed with.
Of course this is right after she walks into the path of a fan that I have no idea why it was running in the first place, and due pulls a face like somebody farted the mother of all farts towards him.
Anyway, after he apparently falls off the face of the Earth, Bella's like, cool, more left for me, but then he pops back up, says hi, and all of a sudden it's like yo bro, did you get contacts? Your eyes were black last time I saw you.
The worst part of a vampire obviously relying on a skill you as a viewer don't know yet is that it takes him FOREVER to cook up a reasonable excuse. It's actually funny because it MAKES SENSE, but might look like stilted acting if you don't know that Edward reads minds and can't read Bella's, which is what sells this.
It isn't until she nearly gets pancaked by a van and he yeets himself to save her, though, that things start getting out of hand (and we're not really talking about the fact someone else is hunting people close-by, with shots that range from corny to creepy), because she wants to know the truth, Edward doesn't want to tell her, and she's miffed with him about it.
I mean, edible art aside and all that, Edward's sending out so many mixed signals it's no wonder the poor girl's confused in her head. One second he's rescuing her, the next he's running in the opposite direction. What's a girl to do?!?
Especially when she learns the Cullen family categorically DO NOT go to Quileute land, and Jacob Black helpfully shares some spooky stories about them being vampires.
Bella being Bella, she does a deep dive, starts dreaming about Edward, and hunts down a book in Port Angeles that nearly gets her in so much trouble ... until the stupid, shiny Volvo owner shows up and glares her would-be attackers down. Because they actually understand a threat when they see one, they back off, and Edward takes Bella to dinner.
It's adorably cute how he sort of moseys up to her into her friends' view, and they're like OHMYGOD YOU'RE KIDDING ME.
My friends would ABSOLUTELY do the exact same thing, I just know it, and it makes it funnier.
Bella now knows he reads minds - except hers, what's wrong with her head?? - and she finally confronts him about the fact he's stuck at the impossible age of 17 (we're not getting into the hormonal side of this, AT ALL), so he's like, lemme show you how disco I can be.
And not to boogey.
For some reason still unknown to man, Stephenie Meyer decided her vampires would sparkle in the sunlight like diamonds, and the effect isn't done particularly well in this movie. But at least Bella and Edward now have a mutual sort of understanding so they can officially start dating, the Black family can start worrying and growling, and Edward can take her home to meet the rest of the vamps on the premises.
There is nothing more relatable in this world than Pattinson's expression during the 'we're making Italiano for you' scene as his family tries to do something nice for Bella - totally over the top - and he's just there trying to figure out HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?
The most teenage reaction YET. I live for this shit, it gives me all the life and it's hysterical.
Of course things can't all run smoothly, even with Chief Swan on duty cleaning his rifle while Edward comes to pick Bella up for a game of baseball (Charlie Swan doesn't get enough credit, honestly, Billy Burke ate with this role with the limited script he got). American past-time, right?
Only if blood-hungry vampires who then launch a hunt after Bella don't show up, but sure.
The Cullens close ranks, running Bella south, while they try to distract the tracker, but then said tracker does a little investigating, lures Bella away, and then tries to film a movie so Edward can watch her suffer.
Sigh. Evil megalomaniacs.
He does do one thing that worries everyone, however: he bites Bella's wrist during the altercation after Edward arrives, and this forces Edward to suck the venom out since he doesn't want her to change. They argue about this later at the hospital (among other things) and during prom, which is so funny since I'm pretty sure Bella WOULD NOT have been able to attend in that all-leg cast, but ah well.
Edward doesn't want to change her, Bella won't give up, and the dead hunter's girlfriend is pissed off and after revenge, so I mean, obviously we're doing part two and onward.
The movie definitely hits all the right notes of teenage love, adds some new twists to the vampires, and really focuses on first-person camera a lot to try and tell the story as if you're right there in the scenes with them. It's also obvious to see how Kristen Stewart and Rob Pattinson ended up tangling IRL as well, because the magic of filming this kind of thing is potent, and easily translated to RL if you're not careful; they were both SO YOUNG too.
Is it the best movie ever? Nope. But is it entertaining and faithful to the book? Yep, sure is!
Tune in next week for New Moon.
xx
*images and video not mine
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