"A long time ago, in a galaxy far, far away ..."
Hello everyone!
Disney wants you to be!
And Disney has also figured out that these one-off, LEGO-inspired specials seem to be going down super well with their audiences, which I'm totally on board with.
They're a whole boatload of fun!
If you'll remember, there was a holiday special last year right before Christmas time, but this year they decided to go for the haunted version of it and make something that might give viewers a chance to enjoy Halloween before it arrives.
I mean, Poe Dameron crash-landing on Mustafar? Can you IMAGINE the chaos???
Well, you don't have to imagine any more, not really, because we're taking a look at the LEGO Star Wars Terrifying Tales tonight, and Poe just happens to be our star!
Links to previous Star Wars reviews that have already been posted on the blog can be found at the bottom of the page, as per usual.
Onward into terrifying territory!
Ahem.
So our story starts with Vader admiring his castle on Mustafar and all he's achieved thus far, until Palpatine drags him off because they have a galaxy to conquer and terrorize.
You know, the usual stuff.
YEARS LATER, aka, after the New Republic defeats the First Order, Poe is running from some of them when he gets into an altercation that forces him and BB-8 to crash-land on Mustafar. Interestingly enough, the lava-covered planet isn't so lava-covered anymore, because we get some scraggly, dead trees in the vista as they make their way in a direction they hope will eventually bring them to some sort of help.
Which is how they find themselves at Vader's castle.
That Graballa the Hutt (Jabba's cousin) is redecorating to make it a hotel. How does he call it again? "Castle Vader, the galaxy's first, all-inclusive, Sith-inspired luxury theme resort".
Hutts.
Anyway, Poe's really only there to fix his X-wing, but he gets sucked into the bowels of the castle when Vaneé, a weird disciple that was looking after the place for Vader (and who's still there) shows up, speaking of himself in third person, and almost drooling over Poe because apparently, there's a legend on Mustafar about a pilot strong enough to open its Sith secrets.
Yeah, Vaneé? I think you missed the memo where this is probably Luke Skywalker.
Seeing as Poe's found a mini mechanic, Dean, who works for Graballa and who can fix his plane, he's all about leaving the joint, but is tempted into staying when Vaneé says he can tell them the story of who seduced Ben Solo into becoming Kylo Ren.
This might sound enticing, but trust me, all it is - and all the Knights of Ren are in this installment - is a story about a motorbike gang of bullies who do whatever they want. And as Ben takes right after good ole granddad, both of them thinking they're too strong and too good to do things the way everyone else is doing them (you know, studying hard and achieving things with work), he immediately falls for it, gets into an altercation with the leader, and takes over the Knights, becoming Kylo Ren.
Impressed? I didn't think so.
Neither is Poe, but by this point they've arrived at the door that supposedly hides Sith secrets, and Poe isn't just walking away from potential danger being unleashed on the galaxy - and by the way, if it only really takes two people to pull the thing open, that legend is as real as snow in July. You don't need a Force user for it!
Inside, they find a repository of old, ancient lightsabers of the Sith (probably glow sticks Vader collected), and one of them immediately catches everyone's eye ... but it's broken.
So while Dean fixes it, Vaneé tells its story, in which Palpatine sends Grievous to get said lightsaber, only to have Darth Maul reappear after being patched up with some custom spider legs by witches on Darthmoor. This saber has a unique ability to take over the mind of whoever wields it, so the two apprentices duel awesomely, Maul loses his legs AGAIN, and Grievous gets relieved of all his limbs.
But Maul also gets hooked into the saber's power, so Palpatine just sort of pushes him off the balcony in his apartment (a la Mace Windu style), and puts the saber away, since it's kinda broken.
In the present, Dean fixes it, gets fixated on it, and leads them to a deeper vault in the temple, to the FIRST temple on Mustafar, where they unearth a prism-pyramid like thing which supposedly makes all your wishes come true ...
and which leads to the final tale of the Wookie's Paw (which is exactly what it sounds like) that gives the person wishing on it whatever they wish for. The story now centers around Luke Skywalker, and how he was drafted into the Imperial Flight Academy, personally trained by Vader, and always wanting more. Oh and he also accidentally blows the Death Star up when the Rebels under Leia Organa attack it, but, you know.
Poe finally clocks in that something's up, as this isn't how the story happened, but by then it's too late as Vaneé gets hold of that pyramid thing, revealing the stories were mainly about his own desires (wanting more and always wishing for it), at which point the creepy dude makes himself into some sort of droid with the power of that holocron (I remembered the name!) while Poe, Dean and Graballa make a run for it.
With a lot of inserts from famous horror movies through the ages (heeeeeeeeeere's Johnny!), they take the holocron from Vaneé, Dean fixes the X-wing, and they toss the creep into the lava river by the castle, along with the evil lightsaber (LOTR, we salute you).
Afterwards, Poe orders Graballa off Mustafar and takes Dean with him to the New Republic, but after they leave, Vaneé's droid climbs out of the river, and Vaneé grabs the droid's arm, apparently not dead yet.
How?
Well, I think we'll have to wait for the next LEGO part to find out!
But it's an amusing way to spend roughly forty-five minutes of your time, revisiting the galaxy we all know and love, and just giggling your way through mentions of scary movies through the ages. It's not even remotely scary, so don't worry, it's kid-friendly, but it's chock-full of references that adults will enjoy immensely while the kids enjoy LEGO Poe running around, losing his hair piece all the time.
And shoutout to BB-8 for adding the comic relief of keeping Poe on the straight and narrow, though honestly, all bets are off as soon as you get to Castle Vader.
This is a fun, energetic, amusing installment that's great for a nice family watch-along, and if you don't expect miracles (which I didn't going in) then you'll thoroughly enjoy it.
Until next time, my fellow apprentices! May the Force be with you.
xx
*images and video not mine
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