"Time to save the universe again then, is it?"
Hello everyone!
So remember last week as I was writing out my review of Tomb Raider, the 2018 reboot of the movies which made the Lara Croft role iconic?
Well, as that movie was ending, I got the urge to watch the original two.
Because nothing, and I mean nothing, beats Angelina Jolie when she's kicking ass or walking into a room like she owns the place.
Of course I was incredibly lucky to snag both the first and second movie together, but I have to finish the second one tonight since ... well, haven't managed it yet. I know, I know, it's taking me forever, what can I say?
But without further ado and me babbling on about things that really don't matter, let's get into the review of Lara Croft: Tomb Raider.
You'll find the link to the 2018 reboot and recap at the bottom of this page, as is usual for these kind of posts.
The movie begins with Lara stalking around an Egyptian tomb, apparently hunting for a diamond when she's attacked by a merciless robot and has to somehow defeat it before it takes her head clean off. It turns out that this is all make-believe at Lara's English estate, and the robot was programmed by her friend Bryce for her to practice her skills.
Meanwhile, the planets are coming into an alignment that hasn't happened in 5000 years or so, and the Illuminati (oh yes, we're back with those) need to find this thing called 'The Triangle', something that will give them control of time. One of the members, Manfred (played by Iain Glen), assures his bosses they're close to a location ... but he has no clue.
As for Lara, it's the anniversary of her father's disappearance, so she's uninterested in anything her butler Hillary has in store for her, but she has weird dreams and wakes up to a clock ticking. It turns out the clock has a piece of something ancient inside it, but no one knows what it is, and the old scholar Lara goes to consult links her to Manfred instead of telling her directly.
Ignoring a fellow tomb raider, Alex, Lara goes to meet Manfred and deduces he's a liar; she's proven correct when she's dancing around in the air (on bungee cords that is) and armed commandos raid her house to grab the mystery clock.
They do get the clock, but Lara gets a letter, pre-arranged by her father, which explains that the clock will lead her to the Triangle of Light, a thing of awesome power which destroyed the city it was housed in when the power was misused. One half is in Cambodia, and another in modern-day Siberia.
So, Lara now needs to find both halves and destroy them before the Illuminati think to actually put them together.
Easy, peasy, right?
Right.
Of course not.
In Cambodia, Lara temporarily aligns with Manfred to get the first half of the triangle but in doing this she unleashes the statues in the temple which promptly attack the lot of them.
They take cues from their friends in The Mummy franchise, obviously.
Lara manages to escape by diving down a waterfall (remember how Alicia didn't want to do that?) and ends up at a Buddhist temple where she meets with a monk who might have been an acquaintance of her father. She learns her father was trying to destroy the Triangle himself, but never succeeded.
Deciding to go on, Lara meets Manfred in Venice, where he babbles about how her dad was an Illuminati and she tells him to shut it. They also both need each other so they form a tentative truce to go to Siberia for the other half of the triangle.
Obviously, Manfred is an idiot who knows nothing and Lara gets the other half of the triangle, as well as fuses them together after Manfred kills Alex (Daniel Craig tagged along). Lara beats him to the triangle, however, and finds herself in an alternate reality with her father. He urges her to destroy the Triangle, not to use it, and she does so, reversing Manfred's action of killing Alex (thus saving him) and managing to actually complete what her father asked her to.
His mercenaries abandon Manfred, who reveals that he was the one who shot and killed Lara's father, and Lara is pissed off enough to kick his ass, kill him, retrieve her father's pocket watch, and get gone before the entire place crumbles around her.
Back in England, Lara shocks Hillary and Bryce by dressing as a lady and visiting her father's memorial, but upon returning to the house she finds her two friends waiting with her guns, and a reprogrammed robot for her to fight.
Game on!
Gah I loved this movie haha.
It was ridiculously absurd sometimes and corny, but Angelina Jolie still had meat on her bones and was a joy to watch; her Lara is nitty, gritty and a complete badass. I'm hopeful Alicia might become more like her in following movies!
And of course, you just can't beat an old-fashioned shoot-out. Or statues trying to kill you.
xx
*images and video not mine
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