Review's Resort: Talkie Tuesday: A Christmas Prince

"Failures plant the seed for greater successes down the road."

Hello everyone!

Dang, I haven't been blown away yet! And I'm not talking figuratively here. We've been having some INSANE winds in my country since yesterday, and to tell the truth when I drove do my PT and back this morning the town looked like the Tasmanian Devil rocked through it, dumped his dirty laundry, and hustled out (not to mention our Christmas tree toppled over in the town square).

The winds are set to abate today, however (they're saying it's some sort of freak African/Mediterranean thing that came out of the south following the coast), but then we're slated to get more snow.

Which basically means that we've had temperatures in the toasty area for the past two days, in the freezing corner before that, and we're going back to deep freeze.

So, you know, if you can't beat the weather, you snuggle down and watch Christmas movies. Especially if you're encouraged to do so by one of your best friends, who then proceeds to be amused by your running commentary throughout the film.

This Tuesday's review pick: A Christmas Prince.

Which does remind me that I should rewatch A Princess for Christmas, because, hello, Sam Heughan, but that's a different tale altogether (I'll leave a link to the blog post down below, however, as I've already reviewed that one).

Anyway, so my friend loves suggesting movies for me, especially since she knows I'm on a Christmas binge. Ergo, this was how A Christmas Prince found its way to my watch shelf.

Of course the initial reaction I had when I actually got into it was priceless.

My friend: This guy is in a lot of stuff you like to watch.

Me: Hang on lemme open IMDB ... OMG ANTHONY FREAKING RIVERS!

My friend: xD

Me: I KNEW HE LOOKED FAMILIAR! THE WHITE QUEEN!

My friend: told you.

I have no clue how she puts up with me sometimes, but I'm a very lucky girl for it just the same.

Anyway, let's get to the movie!

This is one of those flicks where you just know, YOU KNOW, it's going to be so overloaded on cheese that you could make lasagna out of it for about six months and still have leftovers for next Fourth of July. But since it's December, the only time of the year where I honestly allow myself this cheesiness, I powered through it.

Not without commentary casualites, but I managed.

So the brief of this story is this: tiny monarchy somewhere in Europe that sounds and looks vaguely Bavarian (as a European, I'm sitting here thinking the Alps must have gotten bigger somehow, these tiny kingdoms keep popping up all over; THERE AIN'T THAT MUCH ROOM, AMERICA) is in a state of crisis since their king is dead and the son and heir is MIA. So obviously (for some reason) an American yellow pages magazine wants the scoop and sends a perky blonde journalist to get the story. She gets in under a false identity, grows close to the prince, realizes there's definitely no truth in all the gossip, falls in love, discovers a shocking secret, has everything blow up in her face, manages to save the monarchy anyway from the evil cousin, and ends up getting the guy at the end of the movie.

You've probably seen this so many times before. I mean, come on, I was calling out what would happen through the movie! But still, let's go a bit more in-depth, shall we? Just because it's super fun (and funny).

So Amber (the journalist) is sent to Aldovia (the vaguely Bavarian monarchy I have no clue how they managed to smush in with all the other fictional ones) to figure out what the deal is with Prince Richard (my Anthony Woodville, not Rivers, my bad) who seems to be avoiding the empty throne like it's made of iron swords and everyone's out to get him. Actually, there are rumours of him abdicating, but, as predicted, he doesn't show to a press conference, so our girl goes full-on spy.

Luckily, the new tutor for Princess Emily (Richard's younger sister) was supposed to come at this time but apparently sent word she'd only get in by January, so Amber is mistaken for her and she automatically gains access to the castle - and the royal family.

Much like in Sound of Music, Emily tries pranking Amber into leaving, but eventually warms up to her new tutor, who treats her like a normal girl despite her status and her medical condition (something with her spine ... I won't bore you with the jargon; suffice to say she's in a lot of pain when moving and can't go about regularly). This is actually really good, because Emily, being the bright girl that she is, quickly figures out her tutor isn't actually her tutor - and she makes Amber a deal: she'll kep her identity a secret if she writes an article about the REAL Richard, bringing to an end all the malicious gossip about him being a playboy and a womanizer.

Of course it helps that Amber and Richard are attracted to one another. That's a given, from the moment he steals her cab at the airport (she doesn't recognize him) to all the little things they get up to together in and around the castle, which include but are not limited to him playing the piano and brooding like Edward Cullen, to him teaching her how to shoot an arrow from a bow (very Princess Diaries) and getting into a snowball fight with her and Emily.

Every movie needs an antagonist, however, and we've got a couple here too: Simon, the cousin who's next in line for the throne should Richard abdicate, and who's wanted it since they were children (and who would also be notoriously rubbish at it precisely because he wants it so much), and Sophia, a woman from Richard's past who seems to want to make amends but whom Richard suspects is actually only after his title and not him as a man.

Luckily, he's got Amber to fall back on when he needs a devoted fan, especially since this is genuinely hard for him: he's a passionately private man who loves his family but is terrified of taking the throne and the shoes his father left him to fill. So of course he's off on jaunty rides cross-country on his trusty steed Blackie (I don't know if that's the name, but he rides a big black horse all the time, though I'm sad to report Sam Heughan does it better).

And Amber's right behind him! Just in time to get thrown from her own horse and attacked by a wolf before conveniently being rescued by Richard (the Beast did it with SO much more flare). Taking her to his father's hunting cabin in the woods, Richard tells Amber that the last words he ever told his father were that he would abdicate the throne, which led to an argument, and Richard's self-imposed exile from Aldovia. Shortly after this, his father died, leaving behind only his hand-carved ornament for their Christmas tree and a poem/riddle in his private diary.

Snooping like the true woman she is, Amber finds a hidden compartment in the old king's desk which contains birth certificates and adoption papers - turns out Richard isn't actually related to the monarchy by blood after all.

Because no movie would be perfect without a rather dramatic crescendo, Richard kisses Amber before she can tell him the truth about a lot of things (and he only has himself to blame for not being in the know until later), and asks her to attend the Christmas Eve Ball, which would also be the eve of his coronation. Emily, ever resourceful, gives Amber the Cinderella make-over she deserves (I still maintain they could have found her a dress that didn't make her look like a cupcake), and she gets to dance with the prince.

Unfortunately, Sophia then makes the bold declaration of Richard's adoption and Amber's true identity (who knew a baroness would be so quick to pick a lock), which of course breaks Richard's heart, since, you know, #feelings.

And also Simon being a douche and gleefully proclaiming he's the next king.

The Queen then explains to Richard that she was told she'd never be able to have children, which was why Richard was adopted in secret, and that they should have told him sooner, but that she doesn't regret it for one moment (for those of you wondering, Emily is actually the biological child here, a miracle child, as it were). Mother and son then agree to not let Simon win so easily, while I'm left to wonder just what, exactly, they would've done. Legally, the throne isn't Richard's to keep, after all, right?

But anyway.

A tearful Amber is talking to her dad on the phone while waiting for her flight, where the man says something that reminds her of that riddle poem the king had left behind. Following a hunch, she rushes back to the palace and talks her way in, discovering a written proclamation by the late king, hidden in the last ornament he had made.

Meanwhile, Simon married Sophia and managed to secure the Queen's presence to preside over the crowning ceremony when Amber bursts in with the declaration, which states that the late king had amended the law so that Richard could inherit the throne. So, while Sophia proves what a social-climber she is (by demanding a divorce), Richard is crowned King Richard II and I have flashbacks to Disney's Robin Hood.

Still, the heroine needs to leave, obviously, and so Amber returns home with her article, which isn't applauded because her editor wanted the juice, not fluff, causing Amber to quit and write a blog about the real Richard instead.

It gains more than enough recognition that, by the time New Year's Eve rolls around and she's working at her father's diner, Richard makes a surprise (not) appearance and gets down on one knee in the snow. Is there anything better than a handsome king with bling that could be seen from the Empire State Building promising to relocate your father's diner a la McGarrett** to Aldovia? Nope, so Amber happily accepts, and I glare suspiciously as the final song plays because it sounds so much like the theme song from "Beauty and the Beast".

The end!

Note: please don't think I hated this movie. I truly didn't. It was, however, a tried-and-tested trope that brought little surprise and a whole lot of fluff, but like I said before, this is the only time of year when you can safely indulge in it and not feel bad. Also, Ben Lamb is a sight for sore eyes and he could give Superman lessons on how you stand there majestically in the middle of the street.

My all-time favourite has to be the sister Emily, however; she was sassy, quirky, and fun, and I just wanted to give her a hug or a high five throughout the movie. Regardless of my commentary, I recommend this for a cold winter's night when you need something to cheer you up. Shamelessly, I will also say that the other movie released hot on this one's heels, My Christmas Prince, doesn't have Ben Lamb, which makes a lot of difference.

And yes, I'm shallow like that. It's December, I'm allowed to be.

*screencaps belong to me, the other images and video not mine
**the scene I'm referring to comes from Hawaii Five-0, where, during a forest fire, McGarrett has his team hook lines around a forest cabin, air-lifting it with a chopper and flying them all to safety.