Game of Thrones: Dragonstone

"The Great War is here."

Hello everyone!

Welcome, yet again, to another summer filled with Game of Thrones reviews and recaps. 

As I've done last year, I'm eschewing movies in favour of this television show because, SERIOUSLY, is there anyone (beside my sister) who hasn't seen this yet?

This Sunday marked the drop of the show's sevent season, a much-anticipated and highly speculated episode as well as the penultimate season of the show in general, since season eight is to be the last, during which we will finally, FINALLY, see the conclusion and who gets to sit on the bloody Iron Throne.

No pun intended.

So without further ado and without adding more to this introduction than is needed, let's jump right into the premiere, aptly named Dragonstone!

As I've done before, I'm not going to be recapping based on the timeline, because let's be practical and face the fact that NO ONE knows precisely how this all aligns (seriously, if you recall, in the season 6 finale Varys made an appearance in Dorne to assure Olenna Tyrell that 'fire and blood' were coming to Westeros, but then by the time the actual last scene rolled around he was on the ship with Dany sailing for Westeros in person; Air Westeros, anyone?), but I'll be doing it based on location and the characters, depending on what's going on.

But I think location might just make everything that much clearer, don't you?

Let's begin by that sequence during which there's this storm cloud rolling slowly towards the camera, and in which we can see a rider on a horse.

Oh hello, Night King! It's been a while since I've seen you and your cronies, including that one dude with the long white hair that always pops up in memes. Looks like it's all hands on deck, including - wait for it - BIG ASS GIANTS! There's no discrimination in THESE ranks.

So while we leave this horn-y dude marching towards the Wall, let's move along to the person nearest to said Wall at the moment, which is Bran.

Bran and Meera had been left just before the block of ice by Benjen Stark, who doesn't quite look dead, but isn't alive enough to cross the Wall so he has to go back into the wild doing ... well, whatever it is former Night Watch Rangers do once they're half-popsicle. Bran, on the other hand, is dragged to the Wall entrance by Meera, where he charms his way into the hearts of men by telling the lot of them he's seen visions of them all over the place, thus earning their passage to the habitable realms beyond.

Oh Bran, you witchy charmer.

Back to a little less witchy but no less bewildering: last we saw of Walder Frey, he got his sons served to him in a pie and his throat cut by Arya, but here he is, alive and well (apparently) and toasting to his compatriots and the rest of House Frey. Only, as soon as he starts actually talking about their exploits, viewers realise something's wrong; and oh, by the way, the wine was poisoned. Arya takes off Walder's face and tells the woman she'd left alive that, when someone asks her what happened at the Twins, she should say that Winter came for House Frey, and that the North remembers.

At which point my heart rejoices because that's what everyone's been screaming since season three and the Red Wedding.

Then the kid marches off, looking magnificent even in the old codger's clothing, but I'm left to wonder - what's going to happen to poor Edmure Tully now? Remember, he was married to one of Frey's daughters in place of Robb Stark, and has since been brought out into the open a couple of times so we could all go 'Oh! That's the wimpy dude from the fish family!' and then stuffed away again. In fact, Walder Frey himself said in the season 6 finale that Edmure is back in a dungeon. Shouldn't Arya have at least, you know, pulled the poor guy out of there? (Then again there might have been scheduling conflicts, since the admirable Tobias Menzies is busy being diabolical as Black Jack Randall on Outlander).

Anyway.

Next stop for the girl is in the middle of nowhere, Riverlands, where someone's singing a song way too pretty for anything coming from Westeros, at which point a #wild Ed Sheeran appears!

A group of Lannister soldiers are being sent to the Twins in response to radiosilence from the Freys, but what Arya learns from the group is that the footsoldiers really have nothing to do with the wars - it's the big shots on thrones that tell them where to go. They kind of just go.

Oh, and she's gonna kill the Queen, don't you know.

#LOL

One of the less admirable jobs of the premiere falls to poor Sam Tarly, who is currently at the Citadel at Oldtown, apparently an apprentice or something, but his job is so far from glamurous it's funny: he has bedpans to empty, pots to scrub, grub to serve, and generally just help out wherever. It doesn't help that he's been trying to get into the big library's Restricted Section to find something about dragonglass, since, you know, it's one of the only things that kills a White Walker, and there's a general shortage of it. The Archmaester, our very own Horace Slughorn, another nod to Harry Potter in the very same sequence, tells Sam that, while he believes him about the Walkers, the Citadel (and people) had endured just about anything and everything prior to this, so he really doesn't see the point in trying to help out. Why? It'll blow over, then they can go on as before.

No one seems to get that the Night King is making plans to be the biggest #DIVA on the continent and wipe out everyone, Archmaesters and Iron Thrones included.

So, a man's gotta do what a man's gotta do: Sam steals the keys to the Restricted Section, steals books from there, and at Gilly's place (or is it their place? Are they a thing now? Are they... wait, what?) he finds mention that the Targaryens put dragonglass onto their weapons as decorations, not knowing what the First Men (admirable Northern ancestors that they were) used them for. At which point the next hint about a potential fiery alliance comes from the discovery that there seems to be a load of dragonglass on Dragonstone, the ancestral home of the Targaryens after their flight from Old Valyria.

All aboard the raven express! Fly, birdie, fly, go tell Jon Snow he's got a cache of potential weapon-making stuff down south!

That done, Sam just about has time for one last act in this episode: getting grabbed by a grayscale patient who demands if 'she' has come already. After Sam timidly inquires after this 'she', the patient huffs: "The Dragon Queen." And we're reunited with Ser Jorah Mormont, or as the show writers put it, the Iain Glen who refuses to be ugly like Jorah is supposed to be.

Back to the Riverlands - or I SUPPOSE it's the Riverlands, but what do I know? - Sandor Clegane has found his way back to Dondarrion and Thoros, that Red Priest who, unlike Melissandre, tends to be a bit better at people skills, but not that good at spouting out predictions since even a kid would have been able to tell him that a 'bad night outside' does in fact include snow, winds, and ice.

Sandor & Co arrive at an abandoned farm/inn, where the Hound and Arya had actually been, a couple of seasons back, and where the Hound now buries the proprietor and his daughter, both corpses, of course, and is shown a vision in the fire by Thoros, of the White Walkers marching towards the sea (and we get a hint that Eastwatch-by-the-Sea, a Night Watch fortress, will probably be the first to go), at which point he #believes.

The Red God, y'all!

Only three more locations left, the most important ones, and the first that pops is King's Landing where Jamie Lannister is coming to the conclusion we viewers had reached season ago, which is that his sister is nuttier than an almond tree and fruitcake combined.

No, seriously.

While he's trying to retain some sense of humanity and realism, Cersei is floating in her own little bubble where no one can touch the Lannisters because ... only she knows why.

Jamie kindly points out that they sort of look like the losing side at the moment, having alienated all their previous allies, and that if they want to win any kind of skirmish, let alone a war of this magnitute, they need people fighting for them and with them.

Enter one Euron Greyjoy and the fastest built armada of a thousand ships, ever.

Euron's philosophy of the moment is that, since his relatives stole his ships from him, and the Lannister's other brother (we're looking at you, Tyrion) is also on that other side, why don't they all hold hands, sing Kumbaya, and defeat the lot of them? Oh, and, also, one Queen's hand in marriage please, thank you.

I'm not sure I'd wish Cersei on anyone, Euron included, but in any case our Queen says gee, thanks, but no thanks, you stink of fish.

So the greatest captain of the 14 seas (there's 14 of them?) promises her a 'gift'.

Which I'm afraid includes one Dwarf, sans head. Or just a Dwarf's head. You get the idea.

Let's leave these morbid thoughts and Euron's fashion statement (what WAS he wearing in that throne room?) and move up north to Winterfell where Sansa is being a red headed brat trying to deal with the Northerners like Cersei would have in the south. Jon overrules her (#THEKINGINTHENORTH) and secures the allegiance of the families which originally had fought for Ramsay Bolton, and Lyanna Mormont schools the lot of them that she's a girl but no one's stoping HER from fighting and defending the North!

You tell them!

Anyway, Jon has it out with Sansa later, seeing a disturbing admiration of Cersei in his half-sister that probably terrifies him as much as it should terrify any sane person, and learns that Sansa Stark wants to pretty much rule the North through him; all he has to do is listen to her. Or so it seems.

Now, I'm not sure how this powerplay will end, because no one actually knows what SANSA wants. We know what Jon wants (aka the end of the Night King and, you know, surviving); we know what Littlefinger wants (aka Sansa and the Iron Throne, not necessarily in that order); but what does Sansa want? She's not happy, that's for sure, but until her motives become clearer, my only advice to the girl is to forget trying to impose a southern rule onto her Northern brethren, who so famously spit on the throne down there. She's going to need to remember what mom and dad taught her to survive the less political and way more direct dealings in the land of perpetual snow.

Although granted, her advice to Jon that he has to be smarter than Ned and Robb (both very, very dead) was actually good.

And now.

The moment we've all been waiting for.

Six season in the making and FINALLY, in the beginning of the seventh, with a nice mix of the Khaleesi and main title themes playing slowly in the background, Daenerys Targaryen beholds Dragonstone for the first time since leaving it as a wee baby. In a sight that hadn't been seen in a thousand years, her three dragons soar above the palace, and let me just say: history repeats itself.

Just like the original Targaryens upon their arrival, Dany lands at the place of her birth and ascends to the castle, which Stannis Baratheon abandoned as he sailed north to aid Jon Snow.

And you can't help but see that no matter the fact that the Baratheons wanted to put their claim on the place, EVERYTHING here has been done for the Dragon lords, with dragons poking their snouts out from just about everywhere, not to mention the family sigil carved deep into the stone face of the castle itself. No meager banners here: the Targaryens wanted it stamped into the very land they walked on that this was THEIRS.

Symbolically, Dany tears down a leftover Baratheon banner with that red heart, and she and Tyrion walk on to the map room where Stannis used to plan his battles. 

Cersei can so keep her painted thing on the floor, I want this table Dany has.

And as every single fan around the globe holds their breath, Daenerys Stormborn of the House Targaryen, the Unburnt, Khaleesi of the Great Grass Sea, Breaker of Chains, Mother of Dragons and the rightful Queen of the Seven Kingdoms, looks up into the camera and says three words that will change Westeros forever:

"Shall we begin?"

xx

*images and video not mine