"It is a truth universally acknowledged that a zombie
in possession of brains must be in want of more brains."
Hello everyone!
This blog post is LONG overdue.
And I mean, extremely overdue.
The thing is, sometimes when I'm typing things up and posting them on here, what happens is that I want to get the most obvious (and usually the most novel at the time) choices out into the open, which doesn't include some of those that are left in my little notebook.
So, accordingly, I reach some much longer after I should have, I suppose.
That being said, it really is a shame that I've only just gotten to this particular movie as I can well remember LOVING it when I saw it. I was hugely skeptical for a majority of reasons (all of which have to do with how the production houses handle the undead nowadays) but insanely glad when I got over that and made myself sit down, and watch it.
I'm talking about Pride and Prejudice and Zombies, of course.
Now, that title in itself is enough to make most people go 'I'm sorry, what did you just say?'
I should know. I was the same.
I think the first of this genre I actually saw was very randomly in a bookstore once when I stumbled across one cover that had Queen Victoria on the front with a bloodied weapon in her hand and a ridiculous title, which only made me laugh and shake my head, then move along.
Then I didn't pay much attention to it at all until Abraham Lincoln suddenly became a vampire hunter, and THEN I finally noticed that Jane Austen was also getting some sort of revamp.
To be sure, the first of hers I saw of this was Sense and Sensibility and Sea Monsters (and that mostly because Marianne and Colonel Brandon were on the cover, with the unfortunate Colonel and his half-squid face, which only made me think Alan Rickman as Davy Jones ...)
ANYWAY.
I thought to myself, I should read these books. I've finally gotten through the vampire hunter one, but I haven't quite started on the Dreadfuls yet. I'm working on it!
In the meantime, back to the movie itself.
I'll admit that Pride and Prejudice is probably among my favourite Austen adaptations and even original books, but I also have to admit that the one I saw first was the 2005 with Keira Knightley and Matthew Macfadyen, so no shooting the messenger, please. I liked that one, than you very much. I have liked some questionable things, to be sure, but that one was pretty okay-ish in comparison to SOME adaptations out there.
This was a whole other ballgame, with zombies thrown in the mix.
The story goes that some sort of plague, brought back from the Colonies (we're looking at you, America), started the spread of zombies, who can masquerade as people a lot of the time and no one is the wiser. In this version of events, instead of training your children (specifically, daughters) in the art of needlepoint and embroidery, it's considered fashionable to send them over to Asia to train in the fine arts of chopping a zombie up. The Bennett sisters (yes, all five of them) are quite accomplished fighters and hunters, although they've been trained in a different province to everyone else, much to their detriment since that seems to affect how men view them.
Oh, where are the days when one's worth was considered in the number of coffers?
Mr. Darcy, in this iteration, is a famed zombie hunter, whereas his aunt, Cathering De Bourgh a reknown swordswoman (sans one eye, and Lena Headey SLAYS the role) whose estate is considered as the safest outside of the main city enclaves.
We return to the main Austen story when Mr. Bingley buys Netherfield Park, the estate which had apparently been infested with the dreadfuls before but has since been abandoned, and decides to host a ball there. As you do, when the walking dead are trying to eat you every chance they get.
At the ball, he sees and falls doubly hard for Jane Bennett, but all this is cut woefully short when the zombies attack the ball and its attendees, leaving us to see Bingley is a little bit inept in the whole hit-the-zombie thing, but luckily Darcy makes up for that deficiency in being ruthless and skilled.
And the Bennett girls?
Eh, they don't need any help from the men. They can dispatch the zombies well enough on their own.
And isn't THAT enough to make both men swoon?
The turn of events from the original book follows from here on out, as Bingley suddenlydecides to pack up and leave, despite everyone hoping he'd stay and marry Jane, and Mr. Wickam wastes no time to insinuate himself into the family's good graces (we know he's bad from the original, so you can bet something's doubly bad about him here). At the very least, however, Mr. Collins (who comes in search of a Bennett wife) is a little taller than in most adaptations (thank you, Matt Smith), not that it endears him to Liz any more than in the other works.
As she turned him down, her friend Charlotte accepts his suit, and Liz goes with her friend as chaperone, visiting the De Bourgh estate, where she once more runs into Mr. Darcy.
Unfortunately for Darcy, Wickam had previously told Liz that Darcy was responsible for breaking Jane and Bingley's relationship, which means that when our hero comes to woo fair maiden and propose, said maiden grabs a poker from the fireplace and tries to gauge his eyes out.
No, seriously!
In what has to be my favourite scene from a movie in a long, long time (and something all us girls probably wanted to do to pompous Darcy before), Liz and Darcy have at it, trying to score a hit against the other and completely destroying the sitting room their in. And let's not forget those little Zorro innuendos with the cut clothing, but ah well.
Wickam seems better and better for Liz, as he shows her a special church, St. Lazarus, where the zombies congregate and are fed pig brains to stop them from wanting human ones, which in turn makes them fairly civilised, something that could potentially change society forever.
Unfortunately, good news won't last, and when it rains, it pours: the dreadfuls are on the march, and Liz hears Darcy is defending London while at the same time Wickam makes off with Lydia, the youngest Bennett sister. Jane and Liz set off in hot pursuit, realising now that Wickam is up to something, probably much worse than just getting the young girl's dowry (this only after Catherine De Bourgh comes to threaten Liz, but later becomes quite taken with her because of her provess as a fighter, and promises to take the rest of the Bennetts with her to her own estate, where they will be safe).
Jane and Liz are now both fighting for the men they love (yes, Liz has figured out that she does in fact love Darcy, especially after the letter he sent her to apologise and explain why he did what he did for Jane and Bingley, not to mention expose Wickam and the fact he MAY have killed Darcy Sr.), but Darcy, having figured out where Wickam may have taken Lydia, lies to Elizabeth to keep her safe. Only, Bingley really is kind of inept, and gives him away, causing Liz to hustle after her man. Together, they head to St. Lazarus, where they do in fact find Lydia - but also learn something else.
Wickam is a zombie.
Oh, he looks okay enough and seems to be able to mix and mingle, but his plan really is to take over the world and rule, preferably with Liz by his side.
Tough luck for you, Wickam, since Liz is all about Darcy now. Setting the church - and all the zombies inside, Wickam included - on fire, the two race back towards the only bridge left over the Thames, barely making it in time, but even so, as it blows, the fall knocks Darcy comatose and we're left wondering what his fate is.
The Bennetts are now living with Lady De Bourgh on her estate where she rules with an iron fist to protect them as this is one of the last safe places in England at that moment. Luckily for us viewers, Darcy has also survived, and he confesses that he heard everything Miss Bennett said to him on the bridge (including her declaration of love) and that he has learned his lesson - but also learned to truly love her. So will she marry him, this time for real?
She says yes, so a double wedding is in order (keeping in tradition with the BBC adaptation), where both the Bennett girls stand up with their men before Mr. Collins, who happily marries them.
All's well that end's well!
But wait. What's that converging on the wedding party?
It's Wickam. Who not only survived the church fire, but he's gathered his zombie army and is bearing full-tilt at the lot of them.
THE END
No, for real. That's where the movie ends. And if you think YOU'RE frustrated, reading this review, how do you think I felt watching the movie?! For some time, there was chatter about a potential sequel, considering that ending, but I think it's died out now so I'm annoyed as can be. I want to know what happens! Also, I want to see Lily James kick some more zombie butts while we're at it. She brings a very refreshing feel to Elizabeth Bennett, and while I admit I initially thought this whole idea was thoroughly silly, I've definitely changed my mind now.
Not only for the cast performances, but the premise is definitely intriguing enough, so now I can't wait to sink my teeth into the books proper, see how this all started!
If you've yet to see the movie, I will encourage you to do so. It's an incredible adaptation of a beloved novel, and trust me, as a die hard Jane Austen fan, I know how difficult it is to please the fans - but you have nothing to worry about. The core of the story remains the same, as does the moral, it's only enhanced a little bit by Walking Dead extras running around!
Also, yes, Darcy's still handsome. Throw in the Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse, Charles Dance as Mr. Bennett, and you've got yourself some really good sequel material.
xx
*images and video not mine
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