Talkie Tuesday: Fantastic Beasts and Where to Find Them

"My philosophy is: if you worry, you suffer twice."

Hello everyone!

So this past weekend, my friends and I decided on a group outing and went to see what was probably one of the most (if not THE most) anticipated movies of this month, which just goes to show that a little bit of magic can go a long way in any movie. 

I'm talking, naturaly, of Fantastic Beasts and Where to Find Them, the screenplay of which was written by Rowling herself (as opposed to something I will not name).

I can honestly say that I'd only ever seen the one initial trailer for the movie proper, and maybe it wasn't even a trailer but a teaser trailer, before it sort of fell off my radar because I was a bit busy with a lot of other things, so I went into the cinema pretty much with no definite decision of what to expect.

Which is just as well, actually, seeing as I probably enjoyed myself a whole lot more because of this. Seriously, I tend to get my hopes up WAY too much.

But then of course, this movie also had Colin Farrell ...

I digress. I should probably start the actual review now.

Well, actually, I'll start with the funny story of how we agreed to go see the movie in the first place.

Namely, it went something like this:

Friend #1: This is a super important announcement, so please pay attention: which one of you Muggles is coming with me to watch Fantastic Beasts? (Besides the obvious)

Me: Wait, I'm automatically included?

Friend #2: Sounds about right.

Friend #1: Duh.

And then of course, off we went, not exactly on broomsticks, or with Apparition, but it would have been a hell of a lot easier to find a parking spot with a broom, come to think of it.

The movie opens with a scene which doesn't make THAT much sense to begin with - there's this foggy manor house in the middle of the night, a lot of wizards (obviously wizards, they've got wands) going towards it, but then there's a burst and we see the back of someone's very blond head looking out into the night.

Cutting forward, we are introuced to a series of newspaper articles that sort of quickly give us a rundown of what year it is (1926), where we are (New York), what's the latest 'it' drink (the Giggling water, aka Giggler), and that Gellert Grindelwald has escaped (for those less savvy in Harry Potter lore, this is the second most dangerous dark wizard of all time, a childhood friend to Albus Dumbledore and played by Jamie Campbell Bower back in the HP series, briefly; also, the reason for the opening sequence).

After this introduction, we FINALLY get to see our protagonist, Newt Scamander (Eddie Redmayne) on a ferry to New York harbour, with a suitcase that, apparently, has some ... occupants.

Passing through customs, and planning only a short stop in New York since he's actually on his way to Arizona, he kind of gets into trouble almost immediately, however, as soon as he's in the city proper. Distracted by a woman named Mary Lou Barebone, who has this fanatic anti-wizardry thing going for her and is warning the crowd about magic, Newt doesn't immediately realize that someone escaped from his suitcase.

This someone being a Niffler, who likes to steal shiny things, but is otherwise harmless (and kinda cute, if you allow for his sparkly kleptomania).

In his pursuit of said Niffler, Newt runs into a No-Maj (the American word for Muggle, meaning someone without magic) Jacob Kowalski, who's trying to get a loan for a bakery (but fails, the poor guy). Unfortunately, Newt kind of doesn't Obliviate the poor person, and so demoted Auror (not that she tells Newt that) Tina Goldstein (fans will recognise the name!) has to take him in for being an unregistered wizard, to MACUSA (The Magical Congress of the United States of America).

But, being kind of in disgrace, this doesn't quite go well, as Director of Magical Security Percival Graces open Newt's suitcase to see the creatures he has in there for himself ... and finds pastries.

You guessed it, poor Kowalski switched suitcases with Newt in the whole bank disaster with the Niffler, and at that very moment gets attacked in his apartment (and bitten), while several creatures escape.

Newt and Tina realise they need to hustle to make sure this DOESN'T happen (unfortunately, they're too late, obviously), but only manage to find a dazed Kowalski who's apparently having some sort of allergic reaction to the bite. Whoops. Dragging him along to Tina's apartment (where sparks fly between him and her sister, Queenie, a Legilimens (mind-reader)), this is where we first see just what, precisely, Newt has in that suitcase.

Namely, it's one of those things that Hermione Granger did back in Harry Potter 7 when she put a spell on her handbag to make it pretty much an endless space, but easy to carry; Newt has a whole plethora of creatures in there, each in their own sort of habitat where he keeps an eye on them and studies them.

But he does need to find those that escaped, so, with Kowalski's help, they go on the hunt.

The first one they find is, of course, the Niffler, who stealthily tries to hide itself in the window of a jewellery store (not that it helps).

At the same time, they start meeting random animals loose in the streets, and follow their trail to the zoo where another, rhino-like creature is sort of giving a poor normal rhino nightmares as she's trying to mate with him (and being about four times his size, that's kind of alarming). Newt attemps a mating dance to lure her back into the suitcase, but Kowalski kind of gets covered in a scent she's mad for, and has to make a run for it (where's Newt, you ask? Well, getting his wand stolen by a monkey and apologising profusely to said monkey when it gets zapped by the wand).

Finally capturing all but one creature, Newt and Kowalski are in the suitcase when Tina locks them in (since their disturbance with the creatures had been heard all over town, duh), and takes them to MACUSA, where Newt is recognised as a brother to a war hero (Newt had a brother? Huh?).

Unfortunately, that doesn't help them as they are then all arrested, and charged with the death of a No-Maj, Senator Shaw Jr. (not that they had anything to do with it), which also means their death, but not before we get the first inkling that something's up with Graves (I mean, besides his clandestine meetings with Credence, an adopted son to Mary Lou, who's apparently looking for something for the guy, something powerful): instead of being appropriately disturbed by the Obscurus which had ACTUALLY killed the senator, he wants to somehow use it.

Pro Tip: an Obscurus is a dark force, bent on destruction, that magical children manifest without knowing while trying to suppress their powers (instead of learning to control them).

But never mind that, off we go to the wizard equivalent of the electric chair!

Accused of being an accomplice of Grindelwald, Newt would probably have been in big trouble if not for the help of one of his creatures, with which he also rescues Tina. Meanwhile, Queenie, having heard her sister's distress, saves Kowalski and gets both the suitcase and the wands from Graves' office, then they rendez-vous with the other two, and make a run for it (well, actually, Queenie carries them out in the suitcase; nobody suspects HER of anything).

Now, they have two missions: find the last of Newt's creatures, and the Obscurus that's apparently killing people around New York.

The gang ends up in a seedy nightclub where a goblin both tells them where to find Newt's invisible creature, but also gives them up to the MACUSA; they barely manage an escape, and go and find not one, but TWO creatures still on the loose. What follows is an interesting exercise of, as Newt puts it "Roach IN teapot", meaning an actual roach in an actual teapot and a shrinking snake-like creature that gobbles it up.

That said and done, the action shifts once more to Mary Lou and her orphans: Credence, trying to please Graves (since Mary Lou frequently abuses him, hitting him with his own belt), finds a wand under another child's bed, but before Mary Lou can do anything about it, aka hit someone, the Obscurus kills everyone in the orphanage aside from the two children involved.

Graves shows up, because he had previously given Credence a necklace with the Deathly Hallows symbol (tip numero ... how many more tips do we need to figure out this guy is bad news?), but he makes a pretty grave mistake (pun intended).

He assumes that the girl is the Obscurus, and Credence is simply a Squib (a non-magical person with magical parents; a disgrace, basically), but unfortunately for him it's actually CREDENCE.

You'd think that'd teach the idiot, or kill him, but NOOOOO, why would it?

Credence, now pissed off beyond belief, unleashes his rage onto New York city. Newt sets off to try and save him out of compassion, and probably would have managed it if not for creepy Graves who duels him.

Fun fact: Newt was apparently expelled from Hogwarts so we only see him doing the very basic spells, not anything complicated, but at the same time he shows remarkable knowledge of certain magic branches (Legilimency, for instance) which, if I recall correctly, are learned in the last years of studying ... we'll have to wait for more information on this!

The one who, surprisingly, manages to calm Credence a little is Tina, who had previously been demoted as an Auror for attacking a No-Maj - Mary Lou, for beating the kids.

But MACUSA President arrives, with Aurors, and declares Credence must die - which unfortunately is what happens, despite protests, because magic must remain hidden (fun fact #2: there seems to be a bit of Obscurus that floated away towards the end ... could this mean Credence survived, somehow?).

Of course Graves isn't having this, and reveals himself as pretty much one of those pure blood idiots who wants wizards to be in power, and of course Newt manages to reveal him as Grindelwald in disguise.

Pro Tip #2: if Johnny Depp is given a 'mysterious, undisclosed role', you should look for the craziest, weirdest looking character in the movie.

Newt also comes through for the MACUSA as he helps them pretty much obliviate the whole city by releasing the Thunderbird which had originally brought him to America (aptly named Frank), with a diluted poison that has the ability to erase memory, so this is transmitted over New York via rain, and everyone forgets about magic (or do they?).

Of course among those who need to have their mind erased is Kowalski, who does agree, to the sadness of his new-found magical friends, but as Queenie kisses him goodbye, she also holds her magical umbrella over him for a bit. Does that shield him?

Maybe, because later in his bakery (finally opened and thriving, because Newt anonymously left Kowalski a suitcase of silver eggs) there are tons of pastries in the form of Newt's magical creatures. And then Queenie visits his shop (ah, true love!), and his memory seems to go 'Wait a minute!'

As for Newt?

He says goodbye to Tina and boards a ship back to Europe, but promises to return with his finished book: Fantastic Beasts and Where to Find Them.

I FREAKING LOVED THIS MOVIE.

I can't even begin to explain it. It was funny, it was magical, it was dark, it was Harry Potter and more, and it had Colin Farrell, who, as one of my online friends aptly put it, has 'aged like fine wine'. I mean, it had EVERYTHING, and there will be FOUR MORE MOVIES for which I can't wait! Can we also get more Kowalski, please? I never thought I'd love a Muggle character so much!

I might even like this one more than the original Harry Potter ones, despite Eddie Redmayne's issue of never actually meeting someone's eyes when he talks (or almost never).

When does the next one come out?!

xx

*images and video not mine