"My father says that trust is earned, sir
.... consider what I am about to tell you a down payment."
Hello everyone!
The movie I'm going tot alk about today is one that I probably would never have seen if it weren't for one of the main actors. And THAT would never have happened if I hadn't watched the White Queen tv show to begin with.
Sometimes, my process is incredibly convoluted, I do agree.
But from what I can see and what I've been following online it looks as though it might just be a stand-alone movie instead of turning into a movie franchise, though it really wouldn't have done well I don't think.
Sadly, this really was one of those one-of-a-kind movies which you put on to watch when you're super bored and want to be distracted.
Don't get me wrong, it was certainly entertaining enough! And I mean, any movie with Michael Sheen in it has to be somewhat good, because lord knows he's a magnificent actor.
I'm talking about The Adventurer: The Curse of the Midas Box.
Now before we begin I'm just going to say this: the sheer number of known names on this movie surprised me, because normally you don't have a star-studded cast (unless you're doing something out of this world spectacular or a joint forces kind of movie). This one, though, wasn't anything like it, and yet the names ...
It's like someone just picked them up one by one!
And of course there's Aneurin Barnard, who portrayed Richard III in White Queen.
But let's go to the story itself.
Felix and Mariah Mundi (I know, who would name their son Mariah? The poor kid ...) are the younger and older son (respectively) of two conservationists who are also members of a hush-hush society which tries to locate priceless, historical artefacts (which apparently all have some sort of power) and store them safely.
Just before the action begins, the boys' mother gives each half of a jade pendant, and that's the last they see of their parents at the time.
But as the bad guys want the pendant itself, they come after the kids and they have to run into the London night, finding themselves picked up (like some stray puppies) and deposited in an orphanage, where unfortunately Felix is recognized and captured, while Mariah is helped out of the fix by a Captain Charity (who NAMES these people? Luckily it's Michael Sheen's character), friend of the family, who explains all about that society and secret, historical artefacts.
Mostly, Mariah just wants his brother back, though.
Everything that's happened is the fault of one Otto Luger, however (Sam Neill, natch), so if Mariah ever wants to see his brother - or parents - again, his best shot is helping Charity get the artefact.
How to do this?
Well, you get a job at Luger's hotel, which is located on an island, and where you become a bell hop.
Anyway, Mariah befriends one of the maids, Sascha (flirtation alert), and starts looking for what he needs, whichever comes first.
A word on the Midas Box: it does actually hark back to King Midas, who in Greek mythology was able to turn pretty much anything he touched into gold. So I mean, obviously Luger wants it for the wealth, right?
What he's done is he's kidnapped kids to dig for it (for some reason that makes more sense than kidnapping adults), but he needs the medallion to open the tomb where the box is.
Remember when I said Luger wants it for the wealth?
The thing is, the box, ORIGINALLY, was used for healing and producing gold - but then Midas used it as a weapon once, and it became cursed, and the whole thing turned around so that the weapon (which is basically some sort of laser gun) can now harm anything and zap anyone, unless they're WEARING GOLD.
At this point, sensing trouble, Charity arrives in a disguise of a Russian illusionist (actually, he really does look like a well-groomed Rasputin), while Mariah gets himself caught by Luger and is forced to get the box, with Felix as a sort of safety deposit to ensure his cooperation.
Things go to hell in a hand basket from here, as the Russian, sorry, Charity also brought along the cavalry (aka that historical secret society), who trash the place, while Mariah goes after Luger.
Apparently, he wants that pendant. You'd think he wanted something else.
Luger goes on a rampage with the box-slash-weapon (which is actually fun to watch because, let's face it Sam Neil can make gold out of any script he's given), but Mariah remembers he needs to wear gold and puts on clunky golden armour, which does save his life.
He managed to kill Luger and save Felix, while in other news, the staff manager Monica (Lena Headey) kills Sascha's father while they're trying to save the kidnapped kids.
Now, side note, the dad wasn't a happy figure, being a closeted alcoholic and the like, but he did, in fact, love his daughter. End side note.
In the end though, the good guys win and the society makes the two boys their members and rewards them; Mariah asks Sascha to come with him and Felix (awww), and Charity (who has more lives than a cat, seriously) heahds off to find the missing piece: the parents, who they never found at the hotel.
And actually, in a post-credit scene, we see the mother all wrapped up like a mummy in a sarcophagus, while her husband stands over her and is revealed to be the mastermind behind it all.
DUN DUN DUN!
This movie could have been a lot better at places but was so endearingly funny in others that I can't bring myself not to like it. Sure, it wasn't a blockbuster or anything, but Michael Sheen alone can make any movie better (let's not forget his Aro performance in the Twilight Series where he basically stole the show), not to mention villanous Sam Neill!
And beautiful Lena Headey who could wear a paper sack and still be gorgeously devious, but putting her in a corset actually works so much better.
It wasn't the best movie I've ever seen, but definitely not the worst and I enjoyed myself once I stopped nitpicking and just sat back to laugh at the absurdities that Captain Charity was bouncing along to on screen.
I recommend this if you need cheering up, and if you want a distraction for about 90 minutes!
xx
*images and video not mine
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