"Hold the door!"
Hello everyone!
So after last week's internet disaster, I'm back, and as I promised, tonight's blog post is going to combine the recaps of both the fifth and the sixth episodes of Game of Thrones (season 6, of course, let's not get ahead of ourselves here).
The reason for this being because I've promised to recap the entirety of the season as it rolled along, which means that I can't stop now, can I? I need to see this through.
Not that it's a hardship.
Every Monday night, regardless of the fact that there used to be a number of shows which aired Sunday and I could only watch them a day after (less now as most of them are on a summer break), I'd first watch the hour in Westeros just to ensure myself that all was right in the world.
I mean, honestly?
If you think you have it bad, all you have to do is watch one of those episodes; you'll be darn sure by the end of it that your life is a walk in the park compared to these guys.
So for this recap, I won't divide it in two - I'm just going to write it all down the way it happened, in one conclusive blog post. Okay? Okay!
Starting off with the Iron Islands, the plot of which has honestly not garnered much fan following around the internet even though in the books, the Greyjoys are actually the maritime force to be reckoned with - and I'll admit, I've always had a thing for the navy. So it's sad that this isn't as interesting as it could be, but at this point, the Kingsmoot takes place, in which Euron Greyjoy wins, but Yara and Theon steal most of the Iron Fleet, and flee. Not that it matters - their uncle just orders the whole island population to start building new ones.
Cray cray, that guy, for real.
Meanwhile, at the capital, the High Sparrow, our other favourite crazy, has managed to convert Margaery to his faith, and gained control over the King (even though the boy king doesn't see it that way, but let's be real; also, anyone else bets the Queen is bluffing this one? After seeing her brother in his pitiful state, I think Marge would do just about anything to get them out, not to mention ... they brought Cersei as low as she could be, but they're elevating Margaery. Strategy!), which leads to Jaime fired from the Kingsguard and sent instead to retake Riverrun (more on this topic a little later).
And yeah, the Lannister twins aren't happy about this, but as Cersei has said - better at the head of the army than dead. They'll deal with the High Sparrow soon enough if you ask me.
Now, as we mentioned Riverrun, we get to see old grumpy Filch, ahem, Walder Frey, getting his knickers in a twist because the castle he took from the Tullys back with the Red Wedding got liberated (I actually enjoyed his monologue about how you can't lose a castle as it's not a sheep).
By whom?
Why, the Blackfish, of course!
If we cast our minds back, right before everything went decidedly south at the Wedding, Catelyn Tully's uncle went out of the hall to relieve his bladder. Which turned out to be the best decision of his life, as he got to keep said life. Now, he's biting back like a piranha.
While all this political stuff is going on, Sam and Gilly arrive at Horn Hill, Sam's family home, where basically, things turn really bad really soon as the old man is an annoying git and the heir to the family name is a poor summer child who's going to cry for his mama the second the Winter King comes south of the Wall.
But, Sam shows backbone as he defies his father's decision, takes Gilly and Little Sam instead of leaving them behind - and on top of it he pilfers the ancient sword of house Tarly, the Valyrian greatsword Heartsbane. Seeing as we know Valyrian steel is good when fighting White Walkers, you can bet this is going to work in our favour.
Let's move borth to the Wall itself, since we're almost there already: the gist of what happened is that Sansa finally stood up for herself and told Littlefinger where to stuff all his goodwishes and apologies, and that she's grown up and doesn't need him.
Well, not the best move she's ever made, and we can bet the Vale will probably declare for the Starks, considering their family ties, but you get the idea.
And of course, Jon is now off to remind the North where their true allegiance lies: not with the Boltons, who are basically southern usurpers, but with the Starks.
And darn me if I didn't cheer on the Direwolf banner!
Things beyond the Wall aren't as cheerful though. As if we needed to know the Children MADE the White Walkers ...
Bran did a boo-boo: he warged when he shouldn't have and got himself marked by the King, which resulted in the beastly thing being able to get under the tree and kill the Three Eyed Raven, but not before said Raven basically gave us the biggest OMG moment of all six seasons combined.
Yes, it's even bigger than Ned Stark's death, the Red Wedding, and the dragons.
Because Bran was able to manipulate a PAST, young Hodor, with the urgent order to 'hold the door' (as in real life, they were escaping and needed the big man to literally hold said door), which fritzed the kid's brain, making him into the Hodor we know.
And ...
Hold the door = hold door = holdor = hodor = Hodor.
Yes.
That.
After THAT shocker, of course the winter lands aren't done with us yet, as we ended up reuniting with someone thought dead - Benjen Stark.
FINALLY another Stark adult!
Though ... what the heck is he? He sure ain't alive, if he got stabbed by a winter sword and then dragonglass.
As opposed to the highly interesting northern plotlines, the one in Braavos for Arya is so dull I fall asleep every time I watch things about it.
No, seriously.
The only thing she's done is defy the orders she was given, gotten Needle, and signed her death warrant. Although to be honest, I think the Waif is so getting skewered.
Meereen is a lot more interesting because there's now an uneasy truce between these slavers and everyone else, but Tyrion wants to ensure everyone knows Daenerys did all these things, so she isn't forgotten. What does he do? He summons another one of those priestesses we all kind of hate, although Kinvara is a little less ... out there than Melissandre.
At least she'll spread the good word.
And the best part that happens through these two episodes is in the Dothraki lands, as, first off, Jorah shows that he has Greyscale to Daenerys, who orders him to find a cure (this after he finally fesses up that he loves her, which everyone already knew, but, ya know).
After that?
Time to ride on a dragon and make everyone her blood riders so that she can cross the sea to Westeros and reclaim her ancestral home.
Lannisters, beware.
I loved both these episodes (for the most part) and I honestly can't wait until next week so I can see what happens next! Not being able to rely on the books, it's exciting for me to see the new direction everything's taking.
Although ... what's happening in Dorne?
xx
*images not mine
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