"I am NOT your mother."
Hello everyone!
I'm once again back with a movie review from my time spent at the seaside, so it's absolutely been a couple of months since I've seen this, but luckily, I have my trusty little notebook with its productive sheep on the front cover to keep me appraised of everything I thought about then!
Or well, if not that, then at least I've noted down what, exactly, was going on haha.
To be perfectly honest, when I first saw something for this movie, I wasn't sure I'd see it, because I just didn't think I'd have the time. But the ginormous character posters in our cinema made me at least WANT to do it, so when summer holidays rolled around I figured, why not? I was going for a lot of fantasy and biographic dramas at that time so I thought I needed something else to spice things up for myself, and some science fiction thrown in the mix sounded like just the thing.
If I told you that the movie is about intergalactic travel, planets, and royalty, what would your answer be?
Hopefully not Star Wars.
I'm talking about Jupiter Ascending.
So the story of the movie is that Jupiter (Jupe for short, played by Mila Kunis), a Russian girl, works in the cleaning business with her mother (Maria Doyle Kennedy) and aunt, they clean houses for the wealthy people in America. Her father (James D'Arcy) was an astronomer but was killed before her birth because he wanted to protect a golden telescope from thieves and they shot him. Her life is fairly ordinary until she goes to have her eggs harvested (a money scheme by her cousin) and is almost killed by aliens.
Luckily, Caine Wise (Channing Tatum) is there to save the day, and he explains to her that someone named Titus Abraxas (Douglas Booth) sent him to find her. They hitch some help from Stinger (Sean Bean who, remarkably, does NOT die in this movie) because another Abraxas, Balem (Eddie Redmayne) is hunting Jupe. The police, the Aegis, is contacted, but the Abraxas sister Kalique (Tuppence Middleton) gets to them first and Jupe learns she's the reincarnation of the Abraxas mother, the Queen, and the siblings are now fighting for her inheritance (namely, Earth).
Why?
Because they 'harvest' planets, meaning the people on them get killed and transformed into some sort of serum or crystal that prolongs life for a few chosen ones who can afford that (like royalty).
Jupe also learns that Caine was court-martialed because he bit someone high up (he's a mix between human and wolf) and that's why people usually treat him like a dog (cue the 'I like dogs' commentary from our girl Jupe, because there is immediate attraction between her and the warrior, duh). He also lost his wings because of it (actual wings), but that doesn't stop him from trying to protect Jupe.
Who, by the way, seriously needs it as Titus has wicked plans of marrying her.
Let me explain.
Each sibling is dealing with this reaincarnation in their own way. Why is she so important? Because the reincarnation gets the titles and tithes of the original even though she has no clue about it. Balem just wants her dead. Titus is going over a sympathetic approach and trying to woo her before he kills her. And the sister was basically just friendly, showing the good things of life, that sort of deal.
Yeah, twisted family.
Luckily, despite being tossed out into the vastness of that which is space, Caine survives with the help of the Aegis and saves Jupe yet again before she gets married, so she can't be killed. By this point the girl is disillusioned, and wants to go home. I would too.
But the last family member hasn't played his hand yet; Balem kidnaps Jupe's family to force her into signing away her inheritance, though that plan doesn't work since Jupe tells him to go to hell; the final battle happens, ironically, on Jupiter, where Caine once again saves the girl after she kicks Balem's ass and learns HE was the one who killed the mother because she begged him too, not wanting to live in a world where others had to die for her.
I did say twisted before, right? Right.
The story ends with Jupe back on Earth with her family, but she has a different attitude about it than before and is pretty happy with her life. She's also dating Caine, who got his wings back, and is teaching her how to fly using gravity boots. Also, her family putched together and gave her the telescope she wanted to buy at the beginning of the movie.
All's well that ends well!
The movie was pretty entertaining, if completely predictable at times, but the weird family dynamics made it worthwhile (I probably watch too much Game of Thrones for anything to surprise me anymore). Redmayne was brilliant, which isn't a surprise, Kunis, however was slightly on the clumsier side of her acting. And Tatum ... sadly, his only expression was expressionless. He had zero going for him in this one.
But it was a fun summer kind of movie to watch with just enough drama and happy ending to be worth it, so I don't regret it.
xx
*images not mine
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