Tuesday, 2 September 2025

Talkie Tuesday: Rebel Moon A Child of Fire

 

"Who among you is willing to die for what we believe in, 

rather than hide behind it?"

 
Hello everyone!
 
Tonight, we're sailing into uncharted waters, or, possibly skies?
 
Skies. Definitely skies.
 
I'll admit that it took me forever to actually sit down and watch this movie, despite the fact that it's been on my list from pretty much the moment it launched. What can I say, I'm a sucker for space opera of any kind, notice that I've been watching Star Wars and Star Trek in every and all iterations since they launched, pretty much?
 
So you could say this is my kind of jam, honestly.
 
And in all fairness, it was actually pretty decent to watch, all things considered.
 
Not that I often listen to what critics are saying, because usually they're miles from what I'll end up watching, but still.
 
Buckle your seatbelts, because tonight we're flying into Rebel Moon's part one: A Child of Fire!
 
As this is the first movie in what Zack Snyder intends to make a series (whether or not this happens remains up in the air since the sequels have yet to start production despite what was being tossed around back in 2023) there are no other links down at the bottom of the page. There WILL be, but just not yet!
 
Rebel Moon starts, as the title might suggest, on a random ass moon somewhere in the middle of a galaxy that's been overrun by the Motherworld. As narrated by the great Anthony Hopkins (how Netflix and Snyder nabbed him is a mystery), the Motherworld is like a swarm of locusts, the royal family have practically decimated their home world, and then set out to conquer others for the spoils.
 
 
Now, said royals have been murdered (poor Cary Elwes just CANNOT catch a break and rule in peace!) and a famed general, Balisarius, has declared himself regent, which is when our story begins, on that random moon where Sofia Boutella is turning the earth over so it can be planted the next day.
 
Michiel Huisman, he of Game of Thrones fame, comes seeking her out before they all converge on the longhouse where the village chief, Sindri, basically tells them to go fuck the night away so they can have a plentiful harvest later.
 
That's all well and good, until a Motherworld Dreadnought pops up in the air the next morning, and regardless that Kora (Boutella) warns the villagers not to give the Imperium an inch, just whatever they're asking for, and for the love of all that's holy DO NOT AGREE TO TRADING WITH THEM, the stupid idiot Gunnar (Huisman) had actually sold surplus grain to insurgents last month, and the Imperium knows it.
 
Atticus Noble, the admiral who's our bad guy for this movie, does the negotiating, followed by some weirdos in red robes and masks that never get fully explained in this movie other than they exist, and naturally it starts well enough: he seems charming, pleasant, and even kindly - until he whips out a staff and bludgeons Sindri to death just because he can.
 
 
He then leaves an outpost of soldiers on-planet while he goes off into orbit again, and while Kora's packing up to run into the night (ignoring what her adoptive father keeps saying about honour and fight and yadayadayada), a local girl gets nabbed for a little midnight delight, shall we say.
 
Said local girl was the only one kind enough to an automaton droid the Imperium also left behind, the last of a knightly race of robots that were programmed to fight for the King, until the day he was killed and they all just ... stopped. Now he's ridiculed by the Imperium soldiers, but joke's on him, because after Kora walks into their quarters and decimates them one by one with just an axe and a gun, he's the one who makes the killing shot that frees the village girl, then runs off into the night, never to be seen again.
 
Considering her act will definitely bring down the Imperium now, Kora teams up with Gunnar to track down the rebel siblings and bring them to help their planet fight, which then turns into a gotta-catch-em-all kind of movie where she goes to collect people like Pokémon.
 
She starts by accidentally getting Charlie Hunnam, a mercenary, after tearing a pub apart when some creep wants to buy Gunnar for his perverted pleasures, then Hunnam takes her to get a captive prince whose entire family has been eradicated and who can bond with animals that look suspiciously like griffins to me, then they get a cyborg samurai woman Nemesis, who, as it turns out, is VERY good at killing Imperials after they murdered her family.
 
 
Then, they finally get to the main objective, which is collecting famous strategist and military genius Titus, erstwhile general of the Imperium who fought against the Motherworld, surrendered when he couldn't anymore, and watched his legion eradicated.
 
Oh, and they find him in a Colosseum-type structure, on a planet called Pollux, and I think the town's called Castor.
 
The only thing Snyder DIDN'T do was give him a partner called Spaniard and had Russel Crowe in for a quick guest role.
 
Anyway, with her crew now gathered, Kora's next mission is to find the rebels and convince them to fight - all while telling Gunnar her story, which is probably similar to many others: Balisarius erased her family and planet from existence, but for some reason spared and adopted her, then trained her. She fought for the Motherworld, conquering planets in their name, and eventually became bodyguard to princess Issa, who was supposed to usher in a new era, one where conquest would end. So, basically peace, which of course probably didn't sit well with people who've only known war all their lives, imo.
 
Kora fled after the royal assassinations, changing her name and disappearing, but now she pops up again, a dangerous trick for her, knowing Balisarius will probably want her back at some point, but hey she needs those insurgents, and she convinces the leader's brother and his fighters to tag along.
 
 
They only just vacate the world when Noble comes a-knocking and pulls a Star Wars move in destroying it, though somehow these Imperium guys have managed to make their travelling ships into planet destroyers while they were at it, never needing a planet-sized disco ball to do it.
 
Finally having everything, you'd think this is the part where things go south, and it is: remember Hunnam's character? Well, turns out he's mercenary through and through, and betrays Kora to Noble because the bounties on their heads are what he wants, not what's the right thing to do.
 
Luckily Gunnar's too in love with Kora to do the idiot's biding, and frees her so she can start fighting, while he takes out Hunnam in the background. Chaos ensues, during which the rebel leader's brother unfortunately dies, but also reveals a critically stupid design flaw on these Dreadnoughts: 
 
who the hell puts DIRECTIONAL LEVERS into their gun ports???
 
That aside, Kora and Noble go at it, and she effectively kills him using his own staff, after which our group finally arrives back on their little rebel moon, thinking hey, we didn't even have to fight the Imperium proper, since the death of a high-ranking officer will mandate his soldiers have to return home.
 
Actually, Kora ...
 
 
Noble gets sent to some sort of astral plane where he talks to Balisarius himself, who pretty much tells him he's an idiot and fucked up badly, but he's giving him another chance, so the dead body gets revived right at the end of the movie, signaling Noble WILL be back (for probably a second death at Kora's hands, but who's counting).
 
Richly detailed, with a tale as old as time having a minority fight against the oppressive majority, Rebel Moon is a decent flick to watch without having to lose sleep or think too hard about what's what, as the story is easy enough to follow.
 
It's definitely not big screen material, however, because it lacks the sweeping, grand background music that usually accompanies those productions, for one, though in every other sense, Snyder did in fact try and do his best.
 
Of course, turns out there's a director's cut that supposedly explains things better and, as things usually go, IS better at this all, and then you get a problem.
 
Because some things ARE left hanging in this movie, and you don't understand all of it, which is a shame, if you ask me. So I suppose the longer cut is what I'll be watching next, seeing how it compares to this basic release.
 
 
It should also be noted that despite managing to collect a pretty stellar cast, the script struggles sometimes in giving them lines worth their time, so Rebel Moon is definitely a fighter trying to find its footing, which means I'll be looking into the second chapter soon, to see whether or not it even warrants sequels.
 
All in all, however, a decent sort of entertainment for one evening.
 
xx
*images and video not mine
 

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