"We must fight together now ... or die."
Hello everyone!
WE MADE IT.
Almost two years after season seven wrapped up, season eight of Game of Thrones has finally landed.
And boy, is it promising to be a whopper.
We've only really seen the introductory first hour to the last six episodes HBO will give us of this narration (the prequels and sequels and whatever else they cook up don't count at the moment), but already, things are gearing up. An exposition of a premiere, we've pretty much set it all.
How did Gandalf put it?
The board is set. The pieces are moving.
It's time to call the banners and pull out your dragonglass. Winter is here.
I've recaped and reviewed the previous two seasons of the series, and you can find links to the side in my drop-down menus, but for easier access I'll be linking the season finales for six and seven down at the bottom of this page, and on those pages you'll be able to find links to all the previous posts.
Of course, HBO was kind enough to give us a little background for season eight with a mini-recap of what happened in the seventh season so we wouldn't feel hopelessly lost (not everyone has the time to rewatch everything!). Thanks, HBO!
🎵Goodbye to you, my trusted friend ...🎵
After that, it was right into the premiere like nobody's business, and it was actually pretty similar to what we got to see waaay back when in season one, when King Robert Baratheon (remember him? The fat guy?) rode into Winterfell with his entire court to be greeted by the Stark family. In this series beginning, however, we have a different kind of welcome: Jon and Daenerys have parked their loveboat and are riding to the ancient Stark stronghold with the Unsullied, Dothraki screamers, and two big-ass dragons providing aerial support.
🎵I don't know but I've been told (I don't know but I've been told),
Lannister's got a hand of gold (Lannister's got a hand of gold) ...🎵
Universal welcome, however, is not the general feeling surrounding the march.
As has been pointed out before - and will no doubt be brought up, dusted off, and polished to a shine a thousand times in the coming episodes - the Northeners are a mistrustful lot. They more or less governed themselves even with a King down in King's Landing, as not many really wanted a Finnish sauna type holiday up north, and prior to that, the Starks ruled as Kings. Which, in theory, was what's been going in the North for most of the show's duration.
In other news, we have a massive ice storm coming down from the north ...
Thing is, Jon Snow has kind of gone down on his knee for Queen Daenerys. And unfortunately, while the Starks DID indeed only ever bend the knee to the Dragon (Aegon the Conqueror, natch), the overall atmosphere is anything but welcoming.
I mean, Jon's pretty much caught between a rock and hard place as soon as Dany and Sansa clap eyes on each other: Dany, at least, plays nice (more-or-less). Sansa gives her a once-over that screams "You stink of dragons and sheep" and is barely civil (more-or-less).
"Is that last season's Givenchy? How ... delightful."
And Lyanna Mormont is throwing so many daggers with her eyes it's a wonder ANYONE is left standing.
This IS my happy face!
Meanwhile, Bran puts the kibosh on this whole MY HAIR IS LONGER THAN YOURS stunt the women are pulling: they've got bigger problems than whose skin is paler and whose nails got the better paint job. The Night King is marching and he REALLY doesn't care about style - he's got his own stylist right along with him, and he also has Air White Walker now, too, in the form of resurrected Viserion. So could we please bench the discussions about haute couture and dragon dietary needs until, say, we're not all in danger of being popsicled?
It's a reunion for the history books, especially as Jon hasn't seen Bran since he left for the Night's Watch waaay back in season one. Of course, that's just the first of many in this hour, because there's one Stark famously missing from the welcome wagon: Arya sneaks up on Jon in the Godswood, where he's probably praying to the Old Geezers up there that his sister and his lover might start getting along soon.
This ruling stuff, man. It's HARD.
"Ragnar my old friend, I feel your pain right now ..."
But at least he's got Arya! And in a true I'll-show-you-mine-if-you'll-show-me-yours, the two of them take a gander at Needle and Longclaw, sort of realizing they've both done and seen things during the years that neither of them would have expected. The most important point of this particular get-together, however, is that Jon wishes Arya would back him up, like she used to do; Arya, however, imparts words of wisdom - or warning - that he best not forget he's part of the family. Stark family, that is.
"Sweet bling, bro."
This is important. We'll get back to it later, but right now we have more people to throw into scenes together.
Tyrion Lannister is, by virtue of his family name, not exactly welcome in the North, but at least he's fighting on the right side. And, since viewers have been clamouring for him and his one-time wife Sansa to share a scene since season four, season eight finally obliges, although someone forgot to tell Sansa to leave her Elsa-mask by the door; yes, you've gone through a lot, girl, but so has Tyrion, and in case you've forgotten he didn't want to marry you, either, but once he DID he protected you to the best of his ability and kept you safe. Least you could do would be to be a smidge more thankful.
"You used to be taller."
Although she does have a point: Tyrion's trust in Cersei, that she'll actually send the Lannister army to fight in the North, is sadly laughable. And I think Sansa IS a bit sad to point that one out to him.
Sorry, T-man. Betting on the wrong horse in this race.
While we're on the topic of Cersei, let's hop on down via dragon express and see what she's doing in King's Landing. Which is, she's welcoming back the Iron Fleet with one Euron Greyjoy who, sadly, has yet to bite the dust. This guy LOVES listening to himself talk, and I can't be the only one thinkinghoping that Cersei does us all a favour and puts him in his watery grave.
"How many Greyjoys does it take to learn the proper drowning technique?"
Plus, while he did bring her the Golden Company (mercenaries, the lot of them, as should be noted), he did not in fact bring her elephants. And Cersei REALLY wanted those elephants.
You had one job, Euron!
While he's busy making it up to the Queen in her bed, we jump to his ship where he still has Yara captive because, and I quote, he'd have no one else to talk to if he killed her. What happened to using a shaving mirror? That'd work.
"And Sansa thinks SHE has it bad."
Luckily for us she's here though, because Theon and his Salt Berets have one mission, and one only: to rescue who they perceive to be the true ruler of the Iron Isles. And after a welcoming head-butt worthy of a Dwarf, Yara and Theon reconcile and beat feet back to Theon's three ships, the last of what was Yara's fleet. Yara points out it's time to go home and reclaim the isles, so that, in case things go south up at Winterfell, Dany has somewhere to retreat, somewhere the White Walkers conveniently can't go (remember their fear of water? I mean, Viser-ice can probably fly over that, but they don't like it).
Theon's all for that, but ... he owes debts elsewhere. Namely, with the Starks.
So his sister sends him to Winterfell to fight for them. One man up or down in her small force makes no difference, honestly, and she sees he has some honour to reclaim still.
Go kill some wighties, Theon!
"Don't come back smelling like fish. That's an order."
And he's not the only one who'll be making a pilgrimage. The premiere does us the great service of touching base with Ser Bronn.
Remember him? He rescued Jamie from getting roasted by Drogon and drowned like the tin-man he was in all that armour. Now he's back, trying to get his groove on while the three whores he has with him debate the merits of sleeping with your eyelids burned off (Ed Sheeran, we salute you) when the situation is, er, difused, shall we say, by Qyburn, who comes bearing gifts, and a special task from the queen:
kill her treacherous brothers. And while you're at it, use the crossbow Tyrion used when killing Tywin.
"I should have retired three seasons ago ..."
Poetic justice. Can't a man just enjoy himself a little???
Like Jon, for instance.
Worried that her dragons aren't eating as well as they should, Dany, with Jon tagging along for obvious reasons, goes to see Drogon and Rhaegal chomping along on some bones. I mean, it LOOKS like a feast to me, but what do I know, right? In any event, the kiddos are happy to see mom, and someone who smells suspiciously like her, as Rhaegal proves when he nosies up to Jon, who promptly forgets all his How To Train Your Dragon lessons in the face of getting up on an ACTUAL dragon.
"He did brush his teeth after eating all those sheep, right?"
I mean, does Rhaegal even want him to?
Consent received and dispersed with, Jon and Dany, who seems blissfully unworried about the consequences of someone other than herself finally being able to get this close to the kids, fly off into the unknown, ending by a waterfall with a cave, which is pretty poetic.
Jon has a thing about caves.
"Ooooh so THAT's French kissing!"
While he's otherwise engaged, the erstwhile advisors - Davos, Tyrion and Varys - having witnessed the dragons in flight with their riders, are debating the merits of old age, but that's up on te battlements. We have some more reunions to dig into before Jon gets back to Winterfell.
Gendry (remember HIM? The Baratheon bastard who keeps getting milady-zoned by Arya?) has finished making an axe out of dragonglass, and said axe has a name written on that if you ask me. It starts with an M and ends with an N, right after the Hound deals with the Night King and manages not to die in the process.
"There is a reason it's called BROMANCE, girl."
The two men are actually having a pretty civilised debate when Arya comes to greet them both, prompting a proud-papa "yo you cold, bish, but that's why I like you" smirk from the Hound and another "milady" from Gendry, except this time SHE LOOKS BACK.
Gendry my friend, you may be out of the milady-zone faster than you think.
You know who's in between zones right now, though? Samwell Tarly.
"I promise that's not Horace Slughorn, Your Grace."
Jorah Mormont does the guy who saved his life a solid and, after Dany's back from her little rendez-vous, takes her to meet Sam, who's awed and overjoyed, but in his ramblings lets slip what his family name is. At which point things get really awkward really fast.
Dany kinda ... roasted the remaining male Tarlys. I mean, Drogon did it for her, but you get what I'm saying here.
Thankfully, Sam beats feet out of there to put everyone out of their collective misery over what SHOULD have been a relatively simple meet-and-greet, only to find Bran perched out in the cold, "Waiting for an old friend".
"Need a thermos or something? Fire pack? Blazing inferno a la dragon?"
Audiences around the globe know who THAT is, and if you don't, you haven't been paying attention.
Besides, Sam needs to go find Jon. As per Bran, it's time for him to know what really happened all those years back before Robert's Rebellion started: namely, as Sam puts it, that Jon has ALWAYS been a king, and at the moment seems like a better bet than Dany (don't tell Sansa that, though, she may ruin her perfect makeup over it) since he's been known to pardon people before, unlike her. Jon is eyerolling like a pro until Sam drops the bomb: he's not really Jon. He's Aegon Targaryen, Protector of the Realm, yada yada yada.
"Wait ... I'm not the first one dad named Aegon?"
Yeah, Rhaegar sucked at picking names for his kids. For real.
Jon's going to have to get over his shock soon, though, because bad news is coming at him from further up North - and wouldn't you know it but it's our favourite Wild Ginger delivering it?
"Well, this is a thing unheard of! An Elf would go underground, when a Dwarf dare not!"
Tormund and Beric Dondarrion are in the stronghold of House Umber, trying to figure out if anything undead is going to come shrieking at them since everyone seems to be gone, when they rendez-vous with others from the Night's Watch. Not only that, but they now know that the Night King is much farther than they thought he'd gotten, and that he's gunning for Winterfell.
They need to warn Jon, and warn him fast.
Because, seriously, wights are creepy.
"I've always had blue eyes!"
They have some distance to cover, however, so they're beaten to Winterfell by a lone rider from the South, one fans remember well but aren't sure what kind of reception he'll be getting.
Jamie Lannister has arrived, folks. And Bran Stark's wait has finally paid off.
"Yippie-ki-yay, motherf*."
The premiere finishes on that little ditty there, leaving viewers wondering what's to come next. Judging by the preview, we're heading straight into some sort of battle, but whether it's the actual assault on Winterfell remains to be seen, and in any event, there's a lot of ground to cover still: we have the reunions now, the most explosive one right in the final moments where Jamie figures out the guy in the wheelchair is Bran Stark, diver out of windows extraordinaire, and his original sin catches up to him.
How and what happens to him will probably be up to a grand jury, although granted, with the philosophy Bran has now, the kid will probably THANK Jamie for crippling him and save him from getting strung up by his golden hand. The others definitely may not be so welcoming, however, especially as he has no Lannister army with him. Somewhere, Sansa is giving Tyrion an 'I told you so' look.
"Remind me again why we didn't bring the hot tubs."
Amid all the reunions in this premiere, however, there's something we should all take away: namely, motivations, and honour. But mostly motivations.
People's motivations get called out quite a bit, for example when Sansa asks Jon whether he bent the knee to Dany out of love or to save the North (can't 'both' work too?), and interestingly enough the tide is starting to turn more in Sansa's favour, which I don't think I can get behind. I'll explain why: we don't yet know her personal motivation (what she wants for herself, that is) but she seems to be suffering from an affliction most of the characters in this series do: pride. And also, living up to the Tully family words (quite apt, as she looks most like Catelyn): Family, duty, honour. Regardless of what she wants for HERSELF, right now, Sansa seems to be in the positon of I WILL PROTECT MY FAMILY, which is actually exactly what Cersei is doing.
And exactly what Jon isn't.
Is it just me or does this remind anyone else of the Targaryen house sigil?
See, pretty much everyone is thinking in terms of their immediate friends and family and how to protect them; Jon, on the other hand, as clueless as he can be about certain things (he really knows nothing, eight season in), is thinking ABOUT THE SEVEN KINGDOMS AS A WHOLE. He even says it: he doesn't want a crown. He's a reluctant king, and he doesn't care who has what title, SO LONG AS PEOPLE LIVE.
Blood will show. He was raised by Ned Stark, probably the most honourable man anyone of us has ever seen on a show (or met in life), but he is Rhaegar Targaryen's son: Rhaegar was the prince of the people, he fought for the realm at large and, if it can be believed, prior to the madness with Lyanna Stark was willing to stage a coup to get his Mad Dad off the throne and put himself there to ensure stability in the Seven Kingdoms. He was a tragic figure, a scholar, a knight who didn't kill unless he had to, who would lay down his life for the people he would someday rule, but the burden of princedom and future kingship lay heavy on his shoulders.
"I always pick the best."
Sounds like anybody else we know?
So yeah, whatever else happens, I'm Team Jon, aka Team Let's-Survive-to-Fight-for-the-Uncomfortable-Iron-Buttholder-Later.
We've got bigger problems than the Iron Throne right now.
xx
*poster image and video not mine, screencaps by me
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