"Why aren't we going with the Turtles?
When something bad happens, you want to be with the Turtles!"
Hello everyone!
Right about now, the upper part of the house is in complete shambles because my parents are renovating the master bedroom. At this moment alone, about a third of it is currently sitting in MY room (including but not limited to a funny winter hat that's eyeing me while I sleep) and I thank every deity above that I have my desk in the opposite corner by the window, otherwise I would so not be able to get to it.
But enough about my habitat woes.
Tuesdays are my movie days, but truth be told I've been a little bit on the slide when it comes to movies, mostly because for some reason our TV network decided that it's going to stream a whole boat load of amazing ones from years past.
This means that, around Saturday-ish when I usually watch a movie to review in my Tuesday blog, I watch stuff like Kingdom of Heaven or Pirates of the Caribbean.
I mean, I'm not complaining! I just have a hard time deciding what, specifically, I'm going to type about, then.
Which is how I got distracted by the last Power Rangers trailer, and remembered my old, old friends: Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles, Out of the Shadows!
After the events of the first film (the link to which you will find down below at the bottom of this post, because, cowabunga, I already saw that!), the Turtles (and their rat teacher) still live in the sewer while Vern, who, if you recall, was the rather unwilling sidekick back in the day, reaps all the benefits of taking down the first movie's big bad, Shredder.
This would be the ninja-Samurai-something. I've forgotten a little bit ... oopsie.
Anyway.
The Turtles are down below, or watching basketball from way up high under the rooftops, April O'Neal (Megan Fox) is an investigative journalist, and we have a newcomer in this movie.
One Casey Jones, played by our very own Stephen Amell.
Okay. I'll be up front with you guys. While I do enjoy watching the Turtles run around and be idiots, I wouldn't have actually been so excited to watch the second movie if not for the fact that Amell was cast as the male lead alongside Megan Fox. My reasons?
There are many, but you only need one: Arrow.
So, anyway, Casey is a police officer who is helping transport Shredder and two other inmates (and oh my GOD are those two stupid; they define stupidity at an entirely new level, I wear) when the convoy is attacked and Shredder is freed. Or, well, taken, actually, along with Dumb and Dumber.
Which means Casey has a serious itch to scratch, and he will find them, and he will kill -
Wait, wrong story.
Shredder is taken by a mad professor (actually mad, trust me on this one) who is helping this pretty weird (and gross) alien take over Earth. His name is Krang, and he talks with his brain which is hiding in his stomach area.
Yeah. Ew.
Basically, what happens is that they use purple ooze on the two idiots and turn them into mutants, exposing, as the doctor says, the animal that lives in every one of us. To the viewers' everlasting, er, confusion I guess, one becomes a boar and the other a rhino. They don't get any smarter. I think their brains actually get smaller ...
Unfortunately for the gang, April has been snooping about! And she goes all gung-ho on the lot of them, using street smarts to steal a sample of the purple stuff to take back to the Turtles, where Donnie figures that, if it can make people INTO mutants, maybe it could turn mutants BACK into people.
See, this is the calling card of the whole movie: the Turtles are tired of hiding, and want to be normal, aka they want to not be turtles anymore.
This divides the team as Donnie believes he could do it, and Mikey and Raph are DEFINITELY for it, but Leo is solidly against it, struggling with his role as the eldest of the brothers and trying to bring them together when all he seems to be doing is tearing them further apart.
Meanwhile, Shredder is working on a portal to bring Krang to Earth, which takes things up a notch; April finds herself in a sticky situation and gets rescued by Casey in a hockey mask and with a stick which he uses to kick some serious ass. Then again, Oliver Queen's been doing the vigilante thing for a decade now so I suppose this is a piece of cake.
Casey, to no one's surprise but his own, gets roped into helping April and the Turtles, probably realising they stand a better chance together - and also, he kind of likes April, so, yeah.
Unfortunately, what happens is that they get caught and placed in a holding cell, while out in the real world, the Turtles head onto a plane to stop the two mutant idiots from getting the last part Shredder needs for his portal. What follows is movie magic as the six mutants, a plane, a tank, and the middle of nowhere Amazon river all feature in a prolonged action sequence.
Meanwhile, April and Casey are kind of still staying put. At least, until they manage to get a call out to Vern, who comes to spring them. They convince the police that the Turtles can actually help them, as opposed to hurt them, since a special task force had been assembled to bring them to justice, but it's definitly imperative they work together because Shredder manages to open the portal and gets himself packaged up since Krang is a bit of a megalomaniac.
Buh-bye, Shredder. You were a worthy opponent for all of five minutes.
The joint group now divides to conquer: while the police will hold off Shredder's men, the Turtles will go straight for Krang and Casey, Vern and April will go after the mutant idiots.
This is where we get to see Amell on his rollerblades being awesome, Vern actually being more than just a figurehead, and April basically showing both the guys she can take care of herself. Duh, female power all the way.
The Turtles defeat Krang and are honoured by the city, but they make the joint decision to remain hidden in the shadows to watch over those they care for. Normal life is boring, don't you know.
And in the meantime, Felicity Smoak faces a rival as Oliver, I'm sorry, Casey, invites April to his hockey game.
Love is in the air, everywhere I look around ...
xx
*images and video not mine
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