Talkie Tuesday: The Martian

"In the face of overwhelming odds, I'm left with only one option:
I'm gonna have to science the shit out of this."

Hello everyone!

Back with another movie review, and this time I picked one that I honestly wasn't expecting to like as much as I did in the end. I mean, I try not to go into any movie prejudiced, but sometimes it's hard because you have preconceptions, or you've read the books the movies are based off of, or you've seen the trailer and it doesn't look like something you'd enjoy. 

Of course in a lot of the above-mentioned cases, you end up going in the totally opposite direction of what you expected to feel or think when you sat down to watch the chosen movie.

This was what happened to me.

I didn't see a trailer though, or hear about it from a friend, or even read the book. I didn't actually know what it was all about until I got my hands on a copy and sat through the whole thing. I noticed it mostly because the internet kept blowing up with news about it, Matt Damon seemed to be making some kind of a come-back akin to his Jason Bourne movies, and I swear every single one of the Youtube vloggers I subscribe to dedicated at least one video (if not more) to it.

I'm talking about The Martian.

This was a book-to-movie adaptation, with the leafy thing written by Andy Weir, and I do own a copy of it now, actually, but have yet to read it. I'm trying not to put high standards up for it, but the movie was just SO good it's difficult not to have the highest expectations.

What I initially thought was going to be some sort of book about how they found life on Mars actually turned into a semi-plausible scenario (and National Geographic seems to be launching a series about it, too) that intrigued me. I say semi-plausible because some of the space gimmicks and happenings were clearly very American-movie, but other than that I thought it was pretty realistic!

A team made up of military personnel, scientists and NASA crew members is exploring Mars when they get a warning about a storm that's about to hit them, too fast, too soon.

Scrambling, they manage to evacuate and shoot off into space, minus one astronaut as Mark Watney is believed killed by the storm blast and his body is left behind. Unfortunately for Watney, he's very much alive and has been left behind on a dead planet where he must now survive until the next mission lands, which is in four years.

Crazy, right?

Luckily for him, he's a botanist, which means that out of everyone who could get stuck on the red planet he's probably the only one who can actually survive up there.

What he does is ration and count more rations, and ends up figuring out that he needs to start growing food. Or, well, potatoes really, because it looks as though taters are most likely to grow up there once he figures it all out. Which he does, through trial-and-error (and a kablam in the middle of it all), and actually DOES end up growing potatoes! I cheered right along with him when the plants started poking out of the soil.

Meanwhile, as Mark is trying to figure out what else he needs and how to survive, NASA declares him dead and organises a funeral, right before one of their techies sees some weird satellite images ... which prove there seems to be life on Mars.

Aka, Mark Watney.

Watney gets the idea to try and communicate with NASA through the old Pathfinder probe which had been left behind on Mars back in the 1990s, and they actually do establish a link which then helps them go a step further.

This includes Mark hacking into the Rover so that he can now type with people back on Earth, real time. At this point in time, they also tell the news to Watney's team, on their way home back to Earth, and so the communication can now happen between them, too.

Now, NASA has a purpose: bring Watney back home, and also to get him enough supplies so he can last until then.

Unfortunately for the brainiest of the brainy, something that Harry Stamper said back in the days of Armageddon, they do not in fact have guys figuring out other people's mistakes ('backing this shit up'), as their probe fails on launch and they can't get another one in the air fast enough.

Unless they collaborate with the Chinese.

The Chinese themselves, learning of Watney's situation and also of the failed launch attempt, reach out, and the collaboration begins in earnest.

Also, it's titled Project Elrond. Let's geek out over that for a second.

Watney, on Mars, speeds the whole thing up because he has a bit of an accident which kills all his growing crops, and forces everyone's hand. He needs to start the trek to the pickup point, and NASA needs to figure out how the hell to get him out of there super fast.

In the end, it's Watney's team that has the idea: instead of landing on Earth, they'll slingshot around it and head back to Mars to pick up the guy they left behind, supplies in tow.

This they indeed do, after pretty much impossible scenarios which include and are not limited to Watney shooting himself into space in a tin can and trying to propel towards another astronaut with "thrusters" aka oxygen escaping from a puncture in his suit.

Yeah.

But, this being an American thing, the team end up coming home, all accounted for; Watney eventually teaches a survival class at NASA Academy, while of the rest of the team only one of them is headed back into space; the others are grounded (two have a baby together).

This was an amusing and very entertaining, as well as moving movie about friendship, loyalty and collaboration. The cast was superb (next to Damon we have Jessica Chastain, Jeff Daniels, Sean Bean (who doesn't die!), Chiwetel Ejiofor, etc.) and their lines were hilarious most of the time. I mean, the movie would have bombed badly if not for the in-built humor.

My personal favourite scene is enclosed bellow in transcript; let us admire, for a moment, the fact that Sean Bean (Boromir from the Lord of the Rings) has to educate a woman about what the Council of Elrond is all about.

Yes, yes this is real. And it is perfection.

Annie: "What the hell is 'Project Elrond'?"

Vincent: "I had to make something up."

Annie: "... but 'Elrond'?"

Mitch (Sean Bean): "Because it's a secret meeting."

Annie: "How do you know that? Why does 'Elrond' mean 'secret meeting'?"

Wong: "The Council of Elrond. It's from The Lord of the Rings." 

Annie: "... Lord of the Rings."

Wong: "It's the meeting where they decide to destroy the One Ring." 

Sanders: "If we're gonna call something 'Project Elrond', I would like my code name to be 'Glorfindel'."

Annie: "Okay, I hate every one of you."

I can honestly say I envision an alternate scenario during which the question 'How do you know that? Why does it mean secret meeting?' gets answered by 'Because I was there'.

If you haven't seen the Martian yet, I strongly urge you to do so. You won't regret it!

xx

*images and video not mine