"Someone has weaponized Dutch Boy."
Hello everyone!
It also doesn't help that I keep getting distracted, like with Without a Trace or Unforgettable.
I know, I have issues.
But every once in a while I will also stumble upon newer, recent movies that I really feel like watching, and of course you'll be able to find a disaster one among them. Because let's face it, ain't nothing better for the crowd than going to see the world travelling to hell in a hand basket.
This was also very true about the movie chosen for tonight's blog.
I'm talking about Gerard Butler's survival flick, Geostorm.
Yeah, yeah.
I know what you're thinking.
But bear with me here.
Because every couple of years, inevitably, the studios, producers and script writers will come up with an idea for a catastrophe, parallel to what's happening in the world today, and then implement it for the big screen.
I mean there was Armageddon; Day After Tomorrow; 2012; San Andreas; and probably others I haven't seen.
Now it's Geostorm.
For me, the added benefit was seeing Gerard Butler on screen again, as I haven't actually managed that for quite some time now. I wasn't even entirely sure who his co-cast members were for the movie, but the trailer looked promising (from what I could remember by the time I sat down to watch) so I was like BEAM ME UP, SCOTTY.
Ahem.
Geostorm is, of course, very doomsday-ish and potential reality-ish.
Weren't all the other survival mode movies, however?
We begin with a voiceover by someone who seems to be pretty young, explaining how we as humans basically brought the planet to near-extinction and didn't want to believe the term global warming actually existed. It was all just "extreme weather" - until bad things started happening around the globe.
Like, you know, tsunamis, and heat waves, and frost.
At which point the world banded together to build a system of satellites to counter any and all extreme measures. Per a legend about a Dutch child who plugged a dam using just his finger, they named the thing Dutch Boy.
And by 2019 America, as the primary owner, is ready to hand Dutch Boy over to an International committee (or something similar).
Gerard Butler's character, Jake, the chief engineer who actually built the system up in space, arrives to a hearing during which we are basically shown how, no matter if something is thoroughly good and would benefit millions, the very few who tend to draw ire from the regular people (here's looking at you, politicians and bureaucrats) are starting to run the show like what got Earth into this mess in the first place doesn't matter, ordering Jake about, telling him what to do, etc.
This results in Jake losing his temper, and thus losing his position, while the White House puts his brother Max (Jim Sturgess) in charge of Dutch Boy.
Of course things are only just getting started.
Just when you think the US will be able to hand Dutch Boy over peacefully, things start happening - like a frozen village in the middle of the desert, and a heatwave in Asia that literally almost melts everyone and everything.
A concerned Ed Harris tells Max to send his brother Jake up to Dutch Boy to figure out what the hell is going on.
Max does so unwillingly, because he and Jake haven't actually spoken since the original hearing debacle, but Jake does in fact head into space and to the main Dutch Boy satellite, where he's greeted by Ute, the German lady in charge of everything.
Oh and also there's been a death on the station.
And the more Jake and Ute try figuring out what the hell's wrong with the system, the less they get closer to an answer because every single time, something happens that nearly kills one of them (or both), which leads to the end result: someone on the station is in kahoots with whoever planned this down on Earth, and is preventing them from finding anything.
Jake is slightly craftier than the scientists however and snags the drive they need to look through it - turns out that there's a virus in Dutch Boy.
And not only that.
Back down on the planet, Max and his fiancée Sarah (who conveniently works for the Secret Service and protects Andy Garcia's president character) are also hot on the trail of what's going on with this satellite system. A discovery that someone uploaded a virus onto Dutch Boy AND blocked the people supposedly in charge of the system out of it is followed by a rather chilling second outcome:
whoever did this also started a protocol called 'Project Zeus'.
Through some hidden codes between Jake and Max (because hey, brothers everywhere speak a secret language), they figure out that Zeus is a codename for a simulation.
A very bad simulation, actually.
A simulation for something scientists call 'geostorm'.
A geostorm is basically a series of storms that eventually connect together into one massive system that's liable to literally wipe out whatever stands in their path. Right now? Their next target is Orlando, where the president is giving a speech.
Oh and also, if you've ever seen ANY movie with Ed Harris, you'll know that he's the bad guy.
He has a face for it.
After trying - and failing - to kill Max, he decides to just go ahead with the plan, but with Sarah's help, Max kidnaps the POTUS and explains what's happening (he also reveals the engagement - which seems to be a problem because of a conflict of interest - but after witnessing some of her very nifty driving and life-saving techniques, Andy Garcia looks at the groom-to-be and deadpans: "Marry her.").
They manage to catch Harris' character and he reveals the rather unoriginal plan of eliminating the entire presidential line of succession and wiping out whatever enemies the US has, because, lo and behold why would they WANT to give something as powerful as Dutch Boy away?
No one's listening to him anymore, however, because up on Dutch Boy, Jake and Ute have initiated a self-destruct feature that should reboot the system without the virus. And while Jake managed to find - and get rid of - the computer nerd who was responsible for the virus to begin with, they still need the kill codes to stop the now-running Project Zeus.
What neither Jake nor the president tell Max, however, is that the kill codes won't stop the station's self-destruct process.
And as someone needs to stay behind to actually enter the kill codes (the president's DNA, natch), Max suddenly realizes, to his horror, that his brother isn't coming home from space this time around.
But of course Ute is made of sterner stuff than being told where to go and what to do, so she returns to help Jake enter the codes, successfully stopping the geostorm, and then, refusing to just give up, they hide out in a satellite and drift ...
... until they're picked up by one of the evacuating shuttles.
Six months later, Jake, Max and Jake's daughter are all fishing together as Jake's daughter finishes her original narration: that while the world stands together in unity and freedom, they'll be able to survive anything. After all, her father is currently building a newer, stronger system of satellites to protect them all, which will be jointly owned by an international conglomerate.
Because, why not?
The movie was perhaps a little predictable at a number of times, but that didn't take away from a general hour and half enjoyable ride. Plus, watching Andy Garcia deadpan his way across the script and Gerard Butler roll his eyes up in space was more than worth any correct guesses about what was coming. Not to mention it was kind of funny watching them all make fun of the stereotypical nationality game (Mexican, French, German, etc.). So all in all, a rather nice way to spend your evening if you're looking for some easy watching.
And then of course, the door is open for a sequel with these new satellites. So we'll see what happens.
xx
*images and video not mine
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