"Three Rings for the Elven-Kings under the sky,
Seven for the Dwarf-Lords in their halls of stone,
Nine for Mortal Men doomed to die ..."
Hello everyone!
Unlike the last time I touched this story, I decided not to metaphorically undo myself every week for two months and figured I'd just do a little end-of dissertation once it was all over and done with.
After all, this isn't what a lot of people were expecting, although it LOOKS like there might be a lot of the positive floating around online, which is a bit of a difference from the first season, after which everyone and their mother (for the most part) was all "meh".
Of course I'm talking about Amazon's big fantasy release of the year, and no, it's not Wheel of Time.
If we're lucky we're getting the next season of THAT soon, however.
But for tonight, let's put on our thinking caps to make this all fit together in the second season of The Rings of Power.
Links to previous related posts can be found at the bottom of the page, as per usual.
Now, I'm not going to go episode by episode, because if I did that we'd still be here by the time the third season rolled out (no official word on that yet but, I'm not so sure anyone's scraping this because of the hugeness of the IP that's behind it). Instead, I'm going to loosely touch base with all the storylines that are happening throughout the show, and hopefully make sense of them all.
Why do I say hopefully, you ask.
Because not all of these were featured all the time in every single episode, meaning that it's a VERY fragmented story, much more than even The Two Towers were, where everybody was running off on their own adventure.
So, to begin with, we'll look at our survivors at Pelargir, and work our way up to the best (not necessarily brightest) moments.
Isildur, Arondir and Theo are all bopping about this coastal city that, honestly, I wish I had the mental fortitude to go back over season one and figure out again. I'm about 90% sure that the people of Middle-Earth call it an old Númenorean outpost, but the actual Men of Westernesse don't really recall having any ports of call that aren't on their own island. Please, correct me if I'm wrong here, but in any event, by season two, it's now decided this is, in fact, one of their colonies, and we conveniently forget that it should be primarily of the Faithful.
But I digress.
Isildur goes on a mini adventure after being rescued by his horse, picking up a stray wildling girl along the way who happens to wear the brand of Adar on the back of her neck, is engaged to someone she's been looking for, and somehow ends up in a weird longing relationship with our boy Isildur.
Oh, Theo gets abducted too, by the way, by an Entwife, but Arondir manages to rescue everybody looking effortlessly cool in doing so, and then goes off to hunt Adar who took everything from him, aka Bronwyn succumbed to the arrow wound she got at the tail end of season one (the actress didn't return to shooting because she's focusing on her activism instead).
This eventually leads him to Eregion, as all roads seem to lead there, but as for Isildur and Theo, well, for some odd reason Theo is a leader of Pelargir? I'm not entirely sure who voted a kid into that position, but alright, and by the time the end of the season arrives with actual Númenoreans hanging about, it's clear he's unhappy about it all.
Speaking of Númenor, they're having a very hard time while trying to crown Míriel queen, when Elendil's devil-spawn of a she-orc daughter accuses her of cavorting with Elves because she has a Palantír among her possessions. Then, because Manwë doesn't send a speaking eagle along who could just tell these schmucks who he picks for ruler, they decide this is a sign for Pharazôn and he usurps the throne.
Lovely.
Then Elendil gets chucked into prison while still being faithful to the old ways of the Valar, and Valandil croaks (listen, I kid you not, I could have sworn the guy played by Alex Tarrant in this show is called Ontamo, not Valandil, but apparently I've been mistaken); this is then followed by a trial-by-sea in which the other powerful Vala, Ulmo, sends his sea monster to NOT eat Míriel and thus, declare her queen.
... but by the end of it all the Faithful are still declared enemies of the state so Elendil has to hightail it out of there, at least with Narsíl to show for it, despite the fact that, much as the show runners keep harping they don't want to echo the movies or connect to them, him getting that sword makes no sense UNLESS you've seen the movies and/or read the books.
Also, Elendil's daughter really, truly needs to drown, so the sea can prove to her it's always right.
Something similar could possibly be said about the storyline revolving around the Stranger this season who - in an unsurprising and rather uninspired move, let me quote Zazu right here - is revealed by the end to be Gandalf, and by the way it's a name he's given, not one he chooses.
He and Nori (also Poppy, but she's really only there as proto-Sam to deliver some cool speeches the way he did) make it to there the stars are strange, get hunted by weird ass masked people on horses, and our Harfoots find sanctuary with the Stoors.
This is also where we learn that the Harfoots are an off-shot branch of the Stoors, who went searching for the promised land (read: The Shire), but they kinda forgot what they were searching for and kept on wandering. And by the time this season ends, after Grand-Elf gets some sitting lessons from none other than Tom Bombandil, who in this show somehow combines Yoda and Hagrid into a character that has nothing to do with Tolkien's version of the guy, he rescues the lot from the eastern Dark Wizard, gets his staff, learns his name, and sees them all off on another migration after destroying their original home.
Listen, I've got nothing against exploring Hobbit history, and actually showing off the three different tribes before they settle and merge into (mostly) one is pretty neat, but after everyone had been hoping the Stranger WOULDN'T be Gandalf, and having this story diverge so wildly from what we've read so far in writing, well, you can usually tell that people aren't all that happy about it.
Also, it's unfortunately just not as gripping, but at least Ciarán Hinds is in this as the evil geezer, who BETTER not be Saruman.
That'll be hard to explain away, I'll point out right now.
Anyway, back to the story, in which we deep-dive into our favourite Dwarven kingdom, where both prince and king are too stubborn to go apologize to one another, leaving Disa to run interference between Durin Sr and Durin Jr. And not a moment too soon, because lo and behold, but the Dwarves are starting their huge ass collaboration with the Elves, an exciting part of which is the reveal of ithildin, created and crafted by none other than Celebrimbor.
In case anyone doesn't know, this is a substance made from mithril, and can only be viewed under moonlight or starlight; in our particular case, it's also exciting because we're introduced to the character of Narvi, who just so happens to be the guy responsible for those big ass doors through which the Fellowship will eventually enter Moria.
But something's rotten in the land of Dwarves, as they say, because they're given seven rings, another feat of collaboration between the two races - and, well, Annatar, who at this point has revealed himself to Celebrimbor as an "emissary of the Valar" and they've been hard at work together. We'll return to them momentarily, but suffice to say Durin doesn't trust Annatar, not as far as he can thrown him.
The reason?
Guy knows BS when he hears it, and he knows for a fact Elrond - who Annatar is heard quoting - would never, ever say nice things about Durin in this fashion, so he knows something's up.
As if that isn't problematic enough, the Dwarves are kind of stuck in their kingdom after their light shafts all get closed off, Disa and her singers can't find a safe way to dig, and the king uses the ring to guide him so he can effectively save his people.
Then that ring starts driving him mad with greed, and the Dwarves dig way, way too deeply, deep enough that the Balrog in their basement decides he's going to eat whoever the hell is making all that racket. This just so happens to be the old king, who sacrifices himself to save his son, and then to top it off, the son doesn't even get a moment's peace because his brother is shoring up support to try and gun for the throne.
Plus those damn seven rings are STILL there, just waiting to be worn, and Durin is pretty sure he wants to have the Balrog eat them - which I'd totally be down for, actually.
The Dwarves make a final appearance coming to the Elves' rescue in Eregion, but before we get to that let's back up.
To the part where Annatar basically isolates Celebrimbor, convinces him he really needs to make nine more rings to perfect his work, and convinces everybody else their lord's lost his mind. All while watching Adar and his orc army draw closer and closer.
They also happen to have a prisoner, in this case, Galadriel. How did it happen, you ask?
Galadriel tried getting the Three from Elrond, who wanted them destroyed so much he did a leap of faith in front of her and the High King rather than hand them over. Then he was betrayed by Círdan too, because instead of yeeting them into the sea, the sea said nah son, this is your problem, so the guy brought them to the king, put one on, and decided hey, this is the kind of power they can use for good!
Yeah, it all starts that way ... and by the way, it's the last we see of Círdan this season.
Nobody's listening to Elrond saying they're literally becoming Sauron's accomplices by putting on these rings, even though they seem to heal their realm for the time being. So he goes to work at the docks where Galadriel comes begging him to go along with her to Eregion, because Gil-Galad isn't a total idiot and won't let her go alone, since she's brought a lot of trouble to their doorstep.
In the end, Elrond caves, gets leadership of the group that's going, much to her chagrin, and somehow the writers continue to try and convince us how much better Galadriel would have been as leader because she's a gurl, or something.
Either way, she hands her ring to Elrond when they spy Adar's army on the march, and Adar just so happens to want to get rid of Sauron once and for all (he tried it one time, stabbing him with Morgoth's crown, but alas, he only got the mortal body Sauron was inhabiting at the time, not that anyone can understand why he was looking like a pretty Elf talking to Orcs he was trying to rule, but anyway) so he proposes an alliance.
Having her in his grasp means that Elrond's charge on Eregion is effectively halted, since he doesn't want to see her actually hurt, but the world would have been a much more peaceful place if he'd kept going. We don't talk about that silly scene during which he hands her a means of escape, but we'll talk about him defending Ost-en-Edhil, the capital of Eregion, from the advancing orcs, hoping against hope that Durin will come to save the day.
The Dwarves DO arrive, sans Durin that is, who's in mourning, but not before Gil-Galad and Elrond get captured, the city gets sacked, and Adar manages to get himself offed by the very orcs he's sworn to protect and defend, because he pushed them too hard and Annatar turned everything upside down to steal his army right from under his nose.
And while for some reason Nenya gives quite the gift of healing, it thankfully doesn't land in Sauron's lap because this time it's Galadriel doing her own leap of faith after their duel, which happens after the debacle with Celebrimbor.
Honestly, the Lord of Eregion and Annatar are the best part of this wobbly season, because we get to see Annatar at his manipulative best, literally twisting Celebrimbor's reality to the point the guy doesn't even realize that his city is under siege. Once the illusion breaks, however, he does everything in his power to get the nine rings out of there, cutting his thumb off to free himself and sending them away with Galadriel (who loses them to Sauron after their duel, of course). Seeing as Sauron put his own blood into their making, though, it's safe to say they're not going to be safe to wear, AT ALL.
But I have to give credit where credit is due, Charlie Vickers plays his ass off in his role as Annatar, twisting Celebrimbor inside out, and unfortunately Amazon isn't HBO so the closest we get to the gruesome banner our Master Smith became after death is him out-smarting Sauron and pushing him enough to slay him instead of torturing him forever.
Ah well.
Once the Dwarves make easy work of the orcs, and Annatar's busy admiring what he's currently got (which is, nine rings, that damn crown, and an army, somehow coming out on top after having NOTHING at the start of the season), the Númenoreans are starting a new chapter, as are the Elves.
Because she somehow survived dropping several hundred feet (I hesitate to say thousand but, well, it was a high ledge from which she went, either way, and plot armor is THICK), Galadriel wakes up, to the eternal sorrow of the High King who was enjoying some peace and quiet while she was out. The survivors of the Elven army fled north, to a vale that should be intimately known to anyone who ever touched anything Tolkien wrote: eventually, it'll become Imladris.
But for the time being it's where we leave our heroes, in their decision to stand firm against Sauron and oppose him no matter what, as we draw this season to a close.
I'll definitely admit that there are parts of it which I enjoyed - the Dwarves, in particular, as well as Elrond cautioning against the Rings in a very Cassandra-like way, not to mention Celebrimbor and Annatar together - but also parts I didn't. For every bit that I ended up liking, I got frustrated within the next five minutes or so, which is a crying shame. The visuals for this thing remain stunning, but the costumes don't feel like real clothes, but props, the world feels empty or populated by only 20 or so people, the writers don't know how to show time progressing, and Galadriel's voice needs to have a lower register.
To top it off, Gil-Galad for some reason doesn't have Aeglos, the spear he's famous for, with him during the parting shot, and while it's a small grievance, it's still something I definitely missed. There's so many callbacks to the movie trilogy all through the season, but yet the moments they could use to make the nerds love them more, these people don't utilize at all.
So it's been a frustratingly up and down ride. And with the timeline so condensed that I don't know how Elendil and his kids are going to found the greatest kingdom Middle-Earth had ever seen before they have to march against Sauron with the Last Alliance (which, by this logic, will be one battalion of troops anyway), I'm really not sure how they're going to pull it off.
I mean, somehow they probably will, wildly guestimating, but still.
I won't say don't watch, because you have to form your own opinion, but even outside of this being Tolkien-inspired, the show's wobbling on very weak legs. It really, really needs to find a core strength and stick to it, try being more subtle and trust its viewers more rather than serving everything up on a silver platter, and hopefully stick some sort of landing.
Fingers crossed it's not another GPS-challenged meteor, though.
xx
*images and video not mine
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