"And the glorious reign of King Arthur was begun."
Hello everyone!
And I'm talking very, VERY old school.
Because I was feeling nostalgic this weekend what with some things going on in my family and at work, so I decided to sit down and watch something I haven't in a long while.
Turns out, it's even better nowadays when I can actually UNDERSTAND all the jokes that went right over my head when I was a child!
So without further ado, I'm just going to hop right into it.
Because, like they say in the movie itself, nothing ventured - nothing gained.
And we'll gain nothing whatsoever if we don't talk about The Sword in the Stone.
Links to any related posts about the topic (read: king Arthur, that is) can be found at the bottom of the page, as per usual!
The Sword in the Stone is Disney's attempt at recreating the magic of the legendary king who founded Camelot, gave us the knights of the round table, and basically became one of the household names of legend, a long time ago.
Whether or not he existed, of course, is another matter entirely, though I think historians MOSTLY agree that there had to have been someone with his name bopping about, they've just been starting to realize he might not have been in medieval times, but much earlier, even during the Roman period.
But I digress!
Our story here opens with the news that the 'good king had died' - said king being none other than Uther Pendragon, if you pay attention to what the text in the book we're leafing actually says. Unfortunately, as kings are rather often prone to doing, he never had an heir and didn't name one, so the kingdom falls into chaos.
Heaven decides, that's not gonna work for us, and sends down a miracle: a sword that's stuck in a stone, with the promise that whoever can release it, draw it from there, will be the next king.
Listen, I'm reasonably sure Gabriel and Denise the receptionist thought this was gonna be a walk in the park. But humans being the stupid little things we are, nobody can get the sword out of the stupid stone, so they eventually forget all about it as England descends into lawless chaos.
Into this chaos is born a boy named Arthur.
He's an orphan, being raised in the castle of Sir Ector, who has a brutish son named Kay, and for some reason they call Arthur Wart, but that doesn't matter so much.
What matters is that Arthur accidentally crash-lands in Merlin's hut in the woods, but of course Merlin's been expecting him, considering he can see the future and all that. He manages to confuse poor Arthur rather perfectly, then packs everything up (in one of the best sequences of the movie) to go with him back to the castle, since he's convinced the boy needs an education, and the only one who can provide it is himself.
Thus follow adventures like you wouldn't believe, in which Merlin teaches Arthur by changing him into a fish, a squirrel, and finally a bird, but there's a bit of a to-do after the squirrel business, during which the cook finds her kitchen enchanted to be spotlessly clean by the time the magic's done, and because NOTHING can be clean in the middle ages, she starts screaming her head off about black magic.
Now, this leads to Merlin just popping off and disappearing, but Ector is terrified the old man might curse them all, so he doesn't actively pursue - he does, however, crush Arthur's dreams of becoming a squire and names someone else in his place (for Kay, that is).
See, there's going to be a big tournament on New Year's Day in ye ole London, and the winner of said tournament will be crowned king, so NATURALLY, Kay's gonna be king, if Ector can do anything about it.
Down on his luck, Arthur still gets one of his wishes granted when Merlin changes him into a bird as the last trick, during which he does another great crash-landing, this time in another forest hut.
How many of these ARE there in this movie?!
Unlike with Merlin, however, this one is inhabited by the world's craziest witch, Madam Mim; thankfully, Merlin's owl Archimedes runs for Merlin as soon as he figures out who's in there, so the wizard can show up and demand she release his pupil, which leads into a duel.
This is probably the weirdest wizarding duel in history, as all they're doing is changing forms into animals and trying to beat one another up. In the end, Mim goes for dragon, but Merlin goes for germ, and wins by giving her some sort of rare disease.
Then the other squire comes down with some sort of disease, too, and Arthur's promoted to squire, which makes his day, but not Merlin's, who believes the boy should strive for more in his life. It should be noted here that Merlin is WAY ahead of his time and lives more in the future than in the past, which is something Arthur throws in his face, because the wizard really doesn't have a good grasp on what it is to actually LIVE in the times they do.
This makes him ANGRY, and he yeets off to Bermuda, leaving Arthur alone with Archimedes, to go to London and see that Kay wins the tournament ... only, he forgets to bring the man's sword, so in his rush to get him one, he finds one in a churchyard, yanks it out of its place, and takes it back.
As soon as someone reads the inscription on it, there's a BIG uproar: it's the Sword in the Stone! How the hell did the kid get it?
Nobody believes he just drew it out, so off to the stone they go, park it back in, and once again nobody can get it, as it stays firmly put.
Until, that is, they let Arthur do it.
Golden light spills over him, the angelic choir sings, and the stone releases the sword to a twelve-year-old boy, who's instantly crowned king and put on the throne in London.
But he's miserable, lonely, and scared out of his mind, and misses Merlin something FIERCE; thankfully, Merlin's had enough of Bermuda and the 20th century, wanting nothing to do with it, so he comes back just in the nick of time to become one of Arthur's most well-known counselors.
Luckily for us nobody mentions talking owls much in the legends.
And there you have it! That's another version of King Arthur in the books, and honestly, it's probably the funniest, because between a scrawny wolf who keeps trying to eat Arthur, the squirrels who fall in love with the guys, and all the 20th century jokes, it's an easy hour and a half to spend with the family.
I'm reminded about all the reasons why I used to love this, and I'll probably be working my way through all the old Disney cartoons on here over time. Because, seriously, they're just FUN to watch!
xx
*images and video not mine
No comments:
Post a Comment