"Well then I guess there's only one thing left to do: win this whole f-ing thing."
Hello everyone!
See, this is what happens when my family decides we're going to have a movie night, and ends up watching something as old as I am.
Oh yeah, this movie came out in 1989.
And by the way, they still made movies you could actually call movies back in those days. What I mean by that is that they FEEL realistic with the vocabulary people use, the actions taken, and the fact they're legitimately focusing on the plot rather than any political machination in the background.
I'm sure there were agendas even back then, but there's certainly none of that WOKE stuff.
I'm telling you, that's the worst that could ever happen honestly.
So forget about it for a second and grab your baseball caps, because we're headed back to Major League and trying to figure out how the circus won the cup.
I've got some baseball-related works on this blog that I'll be linking down below, as per usual.
Major League stars Tom Berenger, Charlie Sheen and Wesley Snipes (among others), but it begins with an explanation that the Cleveland Indians, their major league baseball team, hadn't done anything worthwhile in the league for the last thirty-odd years.
This is bizarre to me because in my country, if you finish last in any given season, you're sent back to the minors immediately.
But anyway! Then the owner passes away, leaving the club to his ex-showgirl wife, Rachel Phelps, who decides it'll be beneficial to them all if the Indians play SO badly they fail to draw in the crowds, which by a random clause in the contract means they can relocate. She wants to go to Miami, you see, and Miami has apparently already promised her a stadium and VIP treatment.
So they grab a tire salesman to lead the team and gather the biggest bunch of misfits they can probably find.
Jake (Berenger) used to be good, but has knee problems and ended up in the Mexican league; Vaughn (Sheen) kinda sorta has to get out of prison to play, and Hayes (Snipes) wasn't even on the list when they were making the team, but he just invites himself along.
This proves beneficial during spring training when he proves to Lou that he can actually run faster than anyone else, and that scores him the coveted spot on the team (this after he's yeeted out of there with his bed and everything, mind you).
Of course, these guys are currently still a freak show. None of them know how to be team players, Dorn (Corbin Bernsen) won't put himself in harm's way so he can make money after his ball career is over, Vaughn can't throw in the right direction to save his life, and Hayes keeps sending balls up into the sky rather than across the diamond.
So, you know, terrible altogether, but they're slowly, slowly piecing themselves into something resembling a team, which means Rachel Phelps isn't happy. What follows would never happen nowadays because she'd have been out on her ass as I'm reasonably sure the leagues protect their players, but in those days (and in the movie), she could cut off warm water, give them the worst bus possible, and a plane the likes of which you'd find only in Police Academy.
Through all this, the Indians keep getting better, and one of the suits informs Lou of Rachel's decision to move the whole shebang, which he then tells the team, too. They collectively decide this is a hit to their ego and they're just going to win the entire thing, which is when it all starts coming together for them, finally.
Things are up in the air in their private lives as well, because while this is primarily a story of a major league baseball team, it also chronicles Jake's love life when he reunites with his ex that he cheated on. It's quite clear the two still have chemistry, but she's decided to marry a dependable (and horrible) guy who wants to settle down rather than live out of suitcases and hotel rooms.
Then there's Vaughn who gets himself into a pickle of his own, and purely accidentally at that too.
See, once the Indians make it to the finals, which will be played in their hometown, Dorn's pretty wife sees him taking off with a groupie on camera. For revenge, she seduces Vaughn, and he has no idea who she even is.
Obviously this is a problem, but they all decide to play it safe and focus on the last game against the Yankees, their arch nemesis. All the things that have still been bugging them finally click into place: Hayes' speed, the other pitcher's beef with Cerrano's religion (you can see him conversing with the doll during practice), Cerrano hitting the curveball, and Vaughn bringing the game to its height.
This is all cinched together when Jake re-enacts Babe Ruth's move of pointing the direction he'll be hitting in, which gives the team the distraction they need to finally win it.
Much to the odious owner's dismay.
AND, to top it off, Dorn and Vaughn figure it out with just one punch, and Jake gets the girl because she decides she wants the more real, nitty-gritty life with the baseball player rather than the high society one that gave me the heebie jeebies just watching it.
The end!
Fun, hysterical, and filled with humour only the 80s can provide - watch out, you'll probably be offended with just about everything if you really want to be, not to mention the swearing - this movie may not be the very best, but it sure as hell can and will make you laugh.
Plus, the main cast? The players we follow are both white and black, and one of them has incredibly poor eyesight which is an interesting twist to take on a character that really needs to be able to see.
I've watched this movie a couple of times now and have always enjoyed it. These oldies just hit different far as I'm concerned.
So if you want some good, old-fashioned fun, baseball, and sticking it to people where the sun don't shine, give Major League a chance. I guarantee you that if you've got a sensible head on your shoulders, you won't be disappointed and might even enjoy it.
10/10 recommend!
xx
*images and video not mine
No comments:
Post a Comment