"It's not the destination so much as the journey, they say."
Hello everyone!
And, for the last time, welcome to the Caribbean!
Considering this has taken me absolutely forever, one would think that the fact I'm FINALLY done with this series comes as a sort of relief.
And it does.
It also, conveniently, makes me want to just watch them all again one after another, because truth be told these are some of the best movies that have ever been made, in my personal opinion.
Yours may differ, naturally, but let's be real.
Who of us hasn't wanted to see the next adventure of one Captain Jack Sparrow?!
Hopefully - fingers crossed - we might even get more of them in the future, because that would be awesome. But until then, we only have the old faithfuls to lean back on.
So sails up and oars in, mateys; we're sailing On Stranger Tides tonight.
Links to previous related posts can be found at the bottom of the page, as per usual.
So after reclaiming the Black Pearl in the first movie, getting swallowed by a kraken in the second, then finally returning to the land of the living for an epic battle with Beckett Cutler - sometimes known as Cutler Beckett - in the third, Jack is back.
If you remember, he stole those circular charts from Barbossa at the end there, setting off to find the Fountain of Youth, but the fourth film finds our protagonist in London, of all places, and it soon becomes clear why.
See, Jack is once again without ship or crew - Barbossa has both - but equally he's in London to save one Master Gibbs from the gallows, because he's supposed to be hanged for being Jack.
Since he isn't, that doesn't happen, but Jack DOES get dragged before the King of England (and I double over laughing seeing fan favourite characters from Endeavour all dressed up in wigs beside him) and told to find the Fountain before the Spaniards do it.
Because - this is important - the Spaniards have gotten word of this Fountain now, and a location of Ponce de Leon's ship, aka the guy whose chalices you need to make the Fountain work.
While in the palace, Jack comes face to face with none other than Barbossa, who's gone legit and is now a privateer for the Royal Navy, also conveniently on the hunt for said Fountain (also, conveniently for us, still rolling his eyes and wondering what he's ever done to deserve this existence).
Escaping (and stealing from Judi Dench in the process), Jack finally finds the source of all the rumours that he's supposedly in London hiring a crew (oh yeah, that's something else he's investigating while he's at it, because who would DARE?!) and runs into an old flame of his, Angelica (Penelope Cruz).
Angelica needs a crew for her ship so that SHE might find the Fountain, and because this wouldn't be a Pirates movie without it, ensuing shenanigans ensure Jack lands himself on Queen Anne's Revenge, a ship you've PROBABLY heard of before.
And what about Gibbs? You might ask.
Well, Gibbs gets threatened by Barbossa, burns the charts (because he's memorized them all) and thus brokers passage with the old curmudgeon to follow after the Revenge.
As far as the Revenge goes, Jack is on there plotting mutiny - which, hilarious, if you remember certain details - until he comes face to face with the captain himself, none other than Blackbeard (Ian McShane).
Blackbeard has this weird ass sword which controls the ship, can make his officers into zombies, and is apparently not supposed to be alive anymore. Angelica wants the Fountain for her father - Blackbeard, natch - and in all of this, there's a preacher tied up to the main mast (Sam Claflin) which makes about as much sense as the Pearl being stuffed in a bottle, but there you go.
Learning that, to activate the powers of this mystical Fountain, you need silver chalices from De Leon's ship, the tear of a mermaid, and the water from said fountain, Jack and the rest set their plan in motion to capture a mermaid, though granted the mermaids have more teeth than sympathy and plenty of men die in the process, but after Jack makes the lighthouse explode, they do in fact catch one, Syrena (Astrid Berges-Frisbey).
Our clergyman immediately puts himself up as her protector, which is funny because he was the one who caught her in the first place, but Philip is a funny guy all around. He's also the only one who cares for the girl and carries her once her tail transforms into legs on dry land and she can't walk.
This done, Jack is then sent to acquire the chalices, which is where he runs into Barbossa.
And Barbossa tells him it was BLACKBEARD who stuffed their beloved Pearl into the bottle. He also forced the pirate to chop off his right leg to survive (or he'd go down too), which is why he now has a wooden one. As you do.
The two discover the chalices are with the Spaniards, so naturally they head on over to acquire them, get caught, drink rum from where it's hidden INSIDE THE WOODEN LEG, and escape because Jack can never actually be tied down for long. He hightails it after Blackbeard, who now has the mermaid's tear because Philip confessed his love for Syrena, and she cried when she thought he'd been killed.
All roads and items now lead to the actual Fountain, which is where our final battle takes place because Blackbeard just can't have nice things.
Not only are Jack and his crew there with the voodoo captain, but the Spaniards arrive to destroy the Fountain (as it's considered sacrilegious given their Catholic faith), and Barbossa gets there to have his revenge on Blackbeard for the Pearl - and the leg.
Despite Jack's best efforts a fight breaks out, Barbossa cuts Blackbeard with a poisoned sword, sentencing him to die, takes command of the Revenge and its crew, and heads on off. Angelica begs Jack to help her save her father even though she herself has been cut by the poisoned sword too, and Syrena delivers the chalices to him from underwater where they'd fallen (Philip, after ACTUALLY getting hurt mid-fight, stumbles back to untie her), and he mixes up the potion thing for father and daughter.
... only, he makes sure he steals BLACKBEARD'S life to give to Angelica, not the other way around.
See, the way the Fountain works is, if you drink the water with the mermaid's tear, you take the years meant for the person drinking the one sans tear, and they die, but you keep on living. Neat trick, huh?
Having lost his compass for most of the movie but regained after bargaining with the chalices earlier, Jack sends Gibbs off doing ... something, which we learn about only at the end of the movie after our willy captain maroons Angelica on a spit of land because he can't trust her (but seeing as she also ends up finding his voodoo doll, I have a feeling he's in for a world of pain!).
Once he reunites with Gibbs, it turns out he'd sent him to the Revenge before Barbossa got there, and now they have a full bag of ships in bottles, but they only want the one - and need to figure out how to free the Pearl while they're at it.
And Philip and Syrena, our star-crossed lovers?
Mortally wounded, and resigned to his fate after releasing the mermaid, he's surprised when she comes back for him, and tells him she can save him, but he needs to ask. Instead, Philip asks for her forgiveness, which seems to be the same thing, as after kissing him she pulls him underwater with her, swimming rapidly to some unknown fate.
Some fans have speculated that a mermaid's kiss allows you to breathe underwater, so they may have gotten their happily ever after in the end!
So did Barbossa, finally annoyed enough with privateer life to return to piracy ... and needing some driving lessons before he can fully use the blooming sword with the Revenge, haha!
Which is where we leave the lot of them, each on track for yet another adventure!
This film had the unfortunate honour of following after a wildly acclaimed trilogy that felt finished when the filmmakers wrapped it, and as such it may feel disjointed, trying to introduce new characters we lose pretty much in the same breath, and yet still somehow wishes to continue the narrative, including the Fountain in the story.
It definitely works much better if you watch it directly after the trilogy without much pause between the movies, and is fairly enjoyable, actually, since the key elements - Jack and Barbossa - are still there.
Depp delivers, as he always does, and while the missionary and mermaid don't exactly reach Turner/Swann epic drama, they still allow for a sweetness to what would otherwise have been a rather callous movie all in all.
It has action, it has romance, it has backstabbing, and it has a lot of Captain Sparrow, which is what we all want and need, really.
So in the end it's a worthy installment in the franchise, if not as strong as its predecessors.
xx
*images and video not mine
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