"We're in the endgame now ..."
Hello everyone!
Why?
Because summer, that's why.
Summer has FINALLY hit the country but that means that temperatures are all over the place, aka super high and then some, which also means I either have to turn the AC on if I don't want to melt, or I simply don't go on the computer except early in the morning and then after the sun dips again late afternoon.
Unless something happens that ABSOLUTELY needs my presence online, I think I'll stick with not going online at all.
That being said, it IS time for a movie review, and why not continue along in the Marvel vein?
Heard about a Gauntlet running around? Let's look at Infinity War and see how the Avengers do.
I have no clue. Or, as someone else would say, I know nothing.
But I need to get on that bandwagon, ASAP!
For now, however, let's just say that after seeing Captain Marvel I was finally able to lay that one to rest, so I can easily relax and go back to the other two I watched. Plus, there's a lot of the Avengers running around right now!
They haven't been together though (as in together together without trying to kill one another) since Sokovia and Age of Ultron, because for me, Civil War is the part I only read about.
I'm never watching that one. Ever.
Meanwhile, back to Infinity War, remember when we were reviewing Thor: Ragnarok and in a post-credit scene a big ass spaceship catches up to the Asgardians?
The theory was that it was Thanos, and it is, because he's after the Tesseract, which just so happens to house one of the Infinity stones, and he slaughters half of the Asgardians in the process, nearly killing Thor, but Loki tries trickery to save his brother, only to end up dead himself (looks like for real this time ... we only got Hiddleston for a grand total of five minutes, tops!). Thanos does indeed extract the stone, then leaves Thor to die, but Thunderbritches is a little difficult to kill.
He gets picked up by none other than the Guardians, who all hilariously marvel over the god (except Quill, obviously) before he explodes into motion and explains what happened.
As someone who was raised by Thanos (after he invaded her home planet and killed half the population there), Gamora knows he's after the Infinity stones and that, even with just two, he's the most powerful being in the galaxy. But they have to try and stop him, so the team splits up, with Rocket and Groot going with Thor to find a Dwarf who can forge them a weapon strong enough to defeat Thanos.
The rest of the group? They're headed to the Collector to grab the other Stone which is in his possession, now that they know Thanos is hunting them.
Meanwhile, the Hulk, aka Bruce Banner, was with the Asgardians when Thanos attacked, and who Heimdall, in one last burst of dark magic, transported to Earth and had him fall right into the New York Sanctum while Dr. Strange was trying to explain to Wong they need money to buy food.
Instead of buying food, they go to find Tony Stark, who's explaining a dream he had to Pepper (about her being pregnant, which she says she isn't) when he runs into Strange, and then Banner runs out to hug him, traumatized by what happened with Thanos. Speaking in the Sanctum, Stark reveals he and Steve Rogers are a bit on the outs because of the Sokovia Accords, so who knows if the Cap will even answer?
But before they can fully debate the issue - or the fact that Strange holds another Infinity stone, the one that controls time - a minion of Thanos who looks suspiciously like one of the Nemoidians from Star Wars pops to Earth.
I think Nute Gunray found a moonlighting gig!
Iron Man puts on his armour, declares Earth closed, and then goes on to fight, with Strange beside him and none other than your neighbourhood friendly Spider-Man popping by to help because he saw the space ship while out on a school trip.
Meanwhile, the Hulk has performance issues. No, really.
The aliens ARE pushed back, but not before Strange is kidnapped because the Time stone can't be otherwise removed from his person, and both Iron Man and Spider-Man sneak aboard the ship he's on to try and figure out a way to rescue him (it should be noted here that Stark gives Peter Parker a new suit and also sends him home, but the kid's a teenager and teenagers never listen).
We're still aligning all our pieces together and by this point, it's Banner who makes the call to Captain America, because next we see Scarlet Witch and Vision in Scotland, apparently stealing some time to themselves and working on their romantic relationship when they're attacked by some other of Thanos' minions.
Vision has one of the Stones in his forehead, natch.
Thankfully, Cap got the message, and he, Black Widow and the Falcon crash the party, rescue their fellow Avengers, and head back to the old Avengers HQ where they're almost immediately ordered under arrest, while me and every other viewer is eyerolling like, seriously? You want to arrest the only people capable of defeating aliens just as aliens attack?
Politics.
Anyway, they figure they somehow need to destroy the Stone in Vision's head, but maybe they can separate it - so they head to Wakanda to ask for help from the Black Panther and most notably his sister Shuri, who's way too smart for her own good. But they have an issue, which is to say, the first time it was two aliens coming for Vision - now there's an army.
As we gear up for battle, we have to first catch up with everyone else, so let's start with Thor, Rocket and Groot, who find none other than Peter Dinklage as the sole surviving Dwarf, and a frozen forge after Thanos made him create the Infinity Gauntlet. But Thor kick-starts the dead star, nearly gets fried in the process, and helps create an axe that might be capable of destroying Thanos - all with the help of Rocket the "Rabbit" who gives him an eye for the one he previously lost, and Groot who grows the axe's handle from his own body.
Elsewhere in space, Gamora and crew arrive to the Collector just as Thanos is there trying to finish him off - and Gamora stabs him with the weapon he gave her when she was a child, only for it all to be revealed as a play on reality because Thanos has already destroyed the Collector and got the Stone. Quill can't bring himself to kill Gamora until it's too late and Thanos prevents it, then takes off with her as hostage.
Why her?
Because she knows where the Soul Stone is, the one reportedly lost, and the one she swore she is the only one who knows the location of.
She might have kept it to herself if not for the fact that Thanos is torturing his other daughter, Nebula, thus prompting Gamora to spill, and leading us to an isolated planet where Lord Elrond, I'm sorry, Red Skull is getting his Ringwraith vibe on to guide others to the Soul Stone. Here, Thanos kills Gamora as a sacrifice to get the stone, so now all he needs is the one from Vision and the one from Strange and he's good.
Welp!
Strange is at that point being pincushioned on the alien ship when Stark, Strange's Cloak and Spider-Man make their move, kick out Nute Gunray, and crash land on Titan, Thanos' home planet. They then plan on luring Thanos there and defeating him on home ground, which is a cute theory, not that it works - Thanos gets the Time Stone when Strange exchanges it for Stark's life (after previously swearing this would never happen), explains that Titan was destroyed because nobody wanted to cull population like he's going to do to the galaxy so nobody else has to go hungry, and leaves them stranded there.
That is, he leaves them stranded after the Guardians mess up the plan when they hear about Gamora's death from Nebula, and everything goes to Hell in a handbasket.
Vision's stone is the only one left which Thanos doesn't have, and Vision is at that moment being operated on so Scarlet Witch can destroy it with her powers after it's removed, but Wakanda is under siege by Thanos' minions and the battle is getting extra hot when there's suddenly an infusion of Bifrost.
Banner, in the Hulk Armour because the actual Hulk is terrified of Thanos and in hiding, is extremely happy because this can only mean one thing:
Thor has arrived, people. Roll out the red carpet!
Armed with the axe and with an actual axe to grind after the death of his people, Thor does manage to turn the tide for a little while before Thanos actually arrives, and Vision sacrifices himself because Shuri was unable to complete the removal of the stone, so Scarlet Witch has to kill him.
But Thanos now has the Time stone - so he simply turns back time, gets surprised by Captain America and his innate goodness, and eventually, despite the best efforts of the Avengers, crushes his hand into a fist, unleashing the power of the Infinity Gauntlet.
Then he disappears.
Er, okay? So now what?
Says everyone and anyone.
And then ...
Also known as the Decimation, this disintegrates half the population across the galaxy, and it includes heroes from our lineup as well: we say goodbye to Bucky Barnes (who'd been recovering in Wakanda previously), Black Panther, Groot, Scarlet Witch, the Falcon, Mantis, Drax, Quill, Strange, Spider-Man (oh God I cried at this, the way he clings to Tony!), and so many others.
These also include Maria Hill and none other than Nick Fury, apparently out and about again after faking his death so many times, but even as Thanos watches the sunrise somewhere in a quiet corner with weird flamingo looking birds out front, and even as Fury cusses his luck out as he disintegrates, he sends a message via a very old pager.
The pager?
We don't see the aftermath of that in Infinity War, but we DO see it at the end of Captain Marvel - Carol Danvers arrives back on Earth after receiving the beacon call.
Shit's about to go down when she realizes Fury no longer exists.
xx
*images and video not mine
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