"In the name of the Warrior, I charge you to be brave;
In the name of the Father, I charge you to be just;
In the name of the Mother, I charge you to defend the innocent."
Hello everyone!
Welcome, welcome, back to the continent of Westeros, and the stories and (mis)adventures that happen to take place within it.
Now, I've by this point made my peace with the fact Martin will absolutely never finish his A Song of Ice and Fire series. That's cool, that's great, let's move along now.
And yes, season 8 was basically trash and we're not here to talk about it again.
House of the Dragon returns for its third season this summer, but IN THE MEANTIME, we get to talk about our very favourite hedge knight!
Buckle up, grab those spears, make sure your shields are strong and reinforced enough, and then find the nearest snorting charger, because we're about to enter a tournament, and boy, will you need all the luck you can get to survive it.
The first season of A Knight of the Seven Kingdoms, everybody!
AKOTSK (or should we say nine? EGG!) takes place AFTER House of the Dragon, time-wise, but still BEFORE Game of Thrones, so you know where we're sitting at.
Actually, spoiler alert, but Egg is the granddaddy of some pretty important people down the line, but that's not important right now.
Right now, the important thing is that we meet Dunk.
Dunk the Lunk, as he's affectionately called, thicker than a castle wall, is squire to Ser Arlan, a knight who passes just at the beginning of the show, and then Dunk buries him, shits all over the original theme song (which, okay, the joke might have been partly in poor taste ... but ohmygod am I so happy they didn't use the same music again!), and heads towards the nearest possible tournament, because that's what squires and knights do.
And he happens to be a knight, so (or is he?).
Along the way, he passes an inn, where there's this bald-headed boy who is DETERMINED to be his squire, but he leaves him behind, only to have the kid pop up again at Ashford Meadows, the place of the birthday tournament for the lord's daughter.
While Dunk's busy trying - and failing - to flirt with puppeteer Tanzelle, trumpets and horns ring out, and the three-headed dragon flies above the crowd as the Targaryens ride in.
Now, this is fairly important.
At this point in history, House Targaryen doesn't have dragons anymore - they're more Westerosi than they are Valyrian. They're also just barely recovered from ANOTHER in-house civil war (the First Blackfyre Rebellion) that gets referenced in this show a little, but never fully explained, so I encourage you to read about it.
Add to that, the crown prince and heir to the throne looking more like his Dornish mother than the silver-haired Targaryens, and you've got yourself a pot ready to boil (if you remember, even later on, when Rhaegar was married to Elia Martell, his own father insisted that their firstborn 'smelled Dornish', the biggest insult there is).
But they're here to honour the tournament and hopefully make it a good PR move for their house, with Baelor (the afore-mentioned heir, and this tournament's resident CEO) also telling his youngest brother Maekar (who is an absolute MOOD and spends most of the season cussing everybody out just because) to chill, that his sons are bound to show up at some point.
A little note on Maekar: he's the youngest of the current king's sons, and while Baelor has only two children (both sons, of course, a crown prince can't afford daughters), Maekar actually has SIX, FOUR of which are boys, and one of them is conveniently future Maester Aemon of Castle Black. The other three, however, are supposed to be with him at tournament, but only one managed to keep with the program, and there's no mom to corral them together because Maekar's wife unfortunately passed a little before the season opens.
So he's basically a single dad wrestling six kids and wondering why the hell there's nothing stronger in Westeros than wine.
Anyway.
Dunk DESPERATELY wants to join the tournament, but as he's an unknown, he needs to get an actual knight to vouch for him ... which nobody does.
Until he lands himself in front of Baelor and Maekar.
Baelor remembers his mentor, and actually recalls they jousted against each other FIFTEEN YEARS AGO. That tells you something about the current Hand of the King (yes, he's helping his dad in a BIG way, and also has command of the kingdom's armies as Protector of the Realm, a title usually reserved for the rulers alone): he's got the memory of an elephant, he studies up on people, and he tries to do good.
So he's like, I'll vouch for you, but you need a new shield, because you're not Arlan's son.
Aight, says Dunk, thank ye, Your Grace, you're very kind, and noble, and chivalrous ...
Ugh, Maekar rolls his eyes, yadda yadda he's great and the sun shines out of his arse, you're grateful, now fuck off.
Mood, I'm telling you.
Anyway, Dunk asks Tanzelle to repaint his shield, and then makes buddies with Raymond Fossoway because, well, the kid's a good one. And while Egg's over there training his horse, Thunder, to make sure he can do the job, Dunk is just ... generally trying to enjoy the tournament. He even lands himself in the tent of the Laughing Storm, aka Lyonel Baratheon, aka the future Lord of the Stormlands, and they somehow become BFFs?
Lyonel is a whole OTHER mood this show, there's always something outrageous happening around him, and it's just a massive bucket of kicks and giggles.
But then, tragedy strikes.
Aerion Targaryen - you know, Maekar's son who came with dad, participated in the tournament, and mostly behaved badly because there's not a drop of honour in him - goes to beat up Tanzelle because she's performing a puppet show in which a knight kills a dragon. Now, that's not the BEST choice to make with the royal house in residence, but nothing excuses the little shit that Aerion is to break her fingers.
Egg runs to get Dunk, and Dunk beats Aerion up.
Then HE almost gets killed, because, again, royal family HELLO, at which point Egg is like: nu-uh, not on MY watch, assholes.
If you're a book reader, you already knew. If you're a show watcher only, then I bet you gasped when Egg is revealed to be Aegon Targaryen, Maekar's youngest son.
So now the prince has all his boys with him again, Dunk is imprisoned, and Egg begs his forgiveness. Somebody give an Oscar to this kid, because Dexter, who plays Egg, is BRILLIANT.
Baelor has a word with Dunk, explaining he has a right to trial by combat - which, in this universe, is already a risky move (looking at you, Oberyn), but it's better than having his hand and foot chopped off, so that's what he goes for in front of the panel of judges. One would think Maekar actually approves his gumption - he certainly doesn't think anything but shit of Aerion going well, actually, no, I want a Trial by Seven.
This is an ANCIENT tradition, and means pitting seven knights against seven, to see who the gods favour more.
Maekar drags Aerion out of there (probably to kick his ass, but that's just me), and Dunk is wondering what he best way is to die, because he doesn't have champions. Then Egg and Daeron (his oldest brother, also conveniently trying to get lost pre-tournament) pop up and are like, you know what, this could work.
Daeron also drops the ominous words of: there was a huge dragon on top of you and he was dead and you were alive, but no biggie. He's just a Dragon Dreamer.
When morning rolls around, Dunk has five champions on his side, he makes six, and they're still one short. Aerion, who has basically been counting on the fact he WON'T have to fight the brick wall that is Dunk, is gleeful, even while Dunk gives a passionate speech to rouse SOMEONE to fight for him.
Then the gates open, a black horse rides out of the mist, the THEME MUSIC PLAYS, and Baelor Breakspear Targaryen, Prince of Dragonstone, Hand of the King and Protector of the Realm, says the fateful words:
"I will take Ser Duncan's side!"
Maekar thinks his brother's lost the plot. Aerion is trying not to drop off his horse in fright - Baelor was winning tourneys before the kid was even born. The Kingsguard who're riding on Aerion's side are like, welp, can't pummel THAT one. Daeron, well, he'll just drop pretend-dead and he'll be fine. The turncoat Steffon Fossoway's like, meh, whatever.
Dunk, meanwhile is trying to figure out what's happening, but then he's been doing that all season long, bless him.
Baelor gives the men their marching orders, because who else is going to lead the rag-tag team, Lyonel Baratheon? I think not. Breakspear will.
He also tells them to, and I quote, 'Be vigilant. Don't die.' And I wonder whether he has a speech writer somewhere for when he has to otherwise talk to people, because, as far as encouragement goes, Baelor, my precious, precious man ... this needs work.
Doesn't matter, the Trial officially begins, and it is CHAOS. Filmed old-school with fog machines, it literally looks exactly like you'd feel as a knight in the middle of it: there's spears flying all over the place, every once in a while a horse pops up in the background, unhorsed riders literally full-stop other riders with spears in their chests, and in the middle of it all, Dunk and Aerion go at it like dogs.
Dunk actually keels over from his wounds midway, and we get a flashback to how Arlan even picked the orphan up from Flea Bottom, but that memory, as well as people chanting for him to rise, get him back up, at which point he attacks Aerion not as Ser Duncan the Tall - but as Dunk of Flea Bottom.
Aerion never stands a chance.
The Trial's over when the kid's like, yeah, I'm tapping out; they're assessing Dunk when Baelor wanders in. He spent most of the Trial holding back his warrior brother who, at one point, hearing Aerion scream, literally went berserk, shouting 'MY BOY! MY BOY!' and trying to mow down anyone around him.
He's now here to check on Dunk, who swears himself to him, and then, as Baelor praises his brother's strength, his helm comes off, part of his head comes with it, and the greatest hope the realm has ever had of a GREAT king after Aegon the Conqueror drops dead into Dunk's arms.
They burn him, Targaryen-way, and Lyonel tells Dunk to come with him to Storm's End, because fuck them all, Baelor risked nothing riding in the Trial. Everyone else DID.
Um, excuse me sir, who are you again?!? BEGONE, WITCH, FUCK OFF! I won't get into the logic of a dead man's moves with YOU.
Dunk's not going with Lyonel, though, and he also turns down Maekar's offer to swear his sword to him, go to Summerhall, and finish Egg's training. It's only after Daeron talks to Dunk, implying it's the court atmosphere that ruins Targaryens, that he changes his mind, and tells Maekar alright, I'll do it, but not at your home. I'll take the kid on the road with me.
Maekar's incensed, and then just ... aged by grief and fear and fatherly love, when he tells Dunk with all the emotion he hasn't shown for the past season: "He's my last son".
Give Sam Spruell an Oscar, too. Especially after Egg walks into Aerion's bedroom intent on killing him, and Maekar's sitting there by his son's bedside, which means he can stop it from happening, and then he just ... holds his baby close and tallies all the ways he's fucked up as a dad, and on top of that as a brother.
The good news is he's sending Aerion to the Free Cities so he won't have to look at him for a while.
The bad news is it doesn't help Aerion at all.
And Egg happily goes to join Dunk on the road, educating him that there are NINE kingdoms, not seven, actually, and all's well in the world.
Until, that is, Maekar's doing a headcount as the Targaryen cavalcade is leaving Ashford, comes up one head short, and does his best Peter McCallister impression with: WHERE THE FUCK IS EGG?!?
Oh Egg, you little bald rug rat.
The season ends with a parting shot of Ser Arlan's ghost leaving Dunk for good, and our duo off to their new adventures, while the internet cheers for a spectacular entry to the universe.
AKOTSK is everything the other shows aren't - not that those aren't good, but GoT definitely tanked in latter seasons, and HoD is struggling a little, even if I find it very good to watch - and brings some humor and levity into an otherwise miserable world. Dunk is just so LOVABLE, and then there's Egg, who gets into all sorts of trouble. The supporting cast is also out of this world, and there's whispers online that, because Bertie Carvel and Sam made Baelor and Maekar so popular, we might get the First Blackfyre Rebellion, which basically, the two princes demolished almost single-handedly.
The episodes, while short, mix the different perspectives and emotional punches brilliantly, and hats off to the tournament team, because we've never had anything of that scale on screen before, and it is BALLING.
This show is just spectacular as a whole, devoted to the original text, and while they do add changes along the way they retain the spirit of what Martin wanted.
AND they're coming back for a second season in 2027! The showrunner is hopeful they can maybe follow Dunk and Egg throughout their lives, right up to the Tragedy of Summerhall, which FINGERS CROSSED. I'd love that!
So if you haven't seen this yet, highly recommend. If this is the only show of the universe you watch, I still highly recommend. It's just that good!
And if you don't cry at several points of it, then I don't know what to tell you.
xx
*images and video not mine
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