Talkie Tuesday: Fifty Shades of Grey

Hello everyone!

So last week, one of my best friends called and said she had no one to see Fifty Shades of Grey with, and if I'd be game. Now, personally, I'd sworn I would never, ever read the books (because I had the misfortune, I'll call it, of reading about the infamous tampon scene), but the movie ... let's just say kudos to the marketing department. It got me wanting more, and I'm so not a person who would normally want more on these kind of things. But, okay, truth be told, I agreed to go see the movie with her, so I saddled up for what I knew was going to be an ... well, interesting ride, at the very least haha! And before anyone gets all up in arms: despite not reading the book(s), I knew precisely what I was getting myself into, what the movie was about, and what I wouldn't be getting. So, factual check: I knew it would be a BDSM movie, a movie about an unhealthy relationship, and I would so not be getting any lovey-dovey stuff. I would also like to point out that I realize and understand BDSM is something certain people enjoy, and all I can say is kudos to them, but I know it's not my cup of tea, so I won't be trying it - anyone else is welcome to if they wish though. Free world and all that, adults make adult decisions and the like. Now, on to the movie review. 

Fun fact: I had the misfortune of knowing that Fifty Shades was written, or started out as, a fan-fiction on Twilight (remember the sparkly vampires and big-ass wolves?).

Which basically means that my brain automatically compared what it was seeing on screen to what I had already seen/read prior in Stephenie Meyer's books. And this pretty much means that when Anastasia Steele heads off to interview Christian Grey, I managed to overlook the 'Mr. Grey will see you now' sentence because she tripped. Over. Nothing. And landed on her face, right at the feet of Mr. Grey.

Image(s) not mine

Seriously?

If you'd been with me in the theatre, you'd probably have laughed so bad over my running commentary. My friend said I was hilarious, but my comments ranged from the one above, through 'Wait for it', 'He's such a looney', 'Badabing, badabong', to outright laughter.

I apologize for that last bit, by the way, but some things were just ... unbelievable.

Okay, long story short: Ana interviews Christian and he's immediately taken with her, to the point that he becomes pretty much available to do anything she asks him to (like a completely out-of-schedule photoshoot, of course, one needs to look fabulous in pictuires) to asking her out to coffee (here's where the 'I'm not good for you' line comes into use, and I tried not to crack up; Edward, where's your sparkle when we need it?). Cue dramatic music, and then another staple 'I can't stay away from you' (Now I'm not sure if this is Fifty Shades or Twilight, but the message is basically the same). So the pair sort of begins a relationship, only Christian doesn't see it as such. Actually, he wants Ana to sign a contract to become his submissive. Surprisngly, she dodges that contract for the full movie, and never signs it. That was a neat kind of touch, in my opinion. They have this weird sort of dynamic where she finds mostly everything funny (until the Red Room), or outrageous, and he just wants to get her tied down (no joke). Somewhere along the way, we also meet his family (how many Greys are there, exactly?), his brother Elliot falls for Ana's best friend Kate, and Taylor, the bodyguard, makes us all think Revenge season one (Frank, anyone?). And let's not forget the crazy, expensive gifts (which the original Bella turned down or was uncomfortable with, but Ana doesn't have those problems). Problem: once Christian shows Ana how 'bad' it can be, she decides she's had enough, even if she's subtly changing Mr. Grey already, but she just doesn't see how he can enjoy seeing her that humiliated or in pain. So she walks away.

Image(s) not mine

First off, let me tell you I laughed so bad at that ending with the closing elevator door. Kind of like the New Moon ending with Edward's proposal and Bella's little gasp. And I'm sorry for that, by the way, but it WAS hilarious to me.

The movie in itself wasn't outrageously bad, either; I say that they did the best they could with what they had to work with. Kudos to Jamie Dornan for the role, however, because it had to have been SO difficult to shoot! Oh, and also, what the hell was with those ripped jeans in the Red Room?? I swear I would have spit out popcorn or a drink if I'd had it over those. Seeing him in anything but work clothes was just a 'wait, what?' moment for me.

Besides the very obvious Twilight references, it was an enjoyable kind of night out even if I'll admit it wasn't my personal preferred choice of movie ... but dang it, now I want to know what follows! Haha, bad, right? I'll probably see the sequels once they're released. Aside from this all, my personal favourite quote from the whole movie was this little beauty:

"I'm fifty shades of f***ed up."

Truer words have NEVER been spoken. I mean ... I understand the appeal. I think? But I personally know that if a guy, no matter how hot, appeared in my house without me giving him a key with wine glasses and then tried to sleep with me, I'd at least ask how the hell he got in. 

And then I'd probably move, not tell him anything about it, change my phone number, and potentially change my name. I would probably contemplate shaving my head, as well. Suffice to say these kind of relationships aren't something I find healthy or organic. But that's MY personal opinion.

What's yours? Have you seen the movie? What did you think?

xx